I grab the empty bottles
Put the glasses into the sink
Pick up my dirty underwear
Empty the overflowing ashtray
Open the window wide
To renew the air in the room
Where last night
We had talked, and smoked
Finished all the bottles
Of my cheap red wine
I straighten the pillows
On the old dirty couch
Where last night
We had fumbled around
Drunkenly but eager
Laughing about our inability
To fuck properly
Too drunk to get it up
Too befuddled
To know better
I broom the floor
Where last night
We had danced
All naked
Holding on to
Each other
Listening to music
We did not understand
To love songs
We did not believe in
I am cleaning up
The mess
That is my life
-
Author:
Alfred Peyer (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: November 10th, 2017 00:24
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 184
- Users favorite of this poem: Accidental Poet, Poetic Dan, here
Offline)
Comments14
Beautiful write and eerily true
Thank you oliver! This is not biographical, purely a result of my overly active imagination! But hell yeah, it could be true!
Sounds like a hell-of-a party! Clever write, Fred. hope your hang-over isn't too severe.
Thanks Louis, if there is a hang-over it is purely imaginary!
Super write, your imagination seems to have given you a great party.
Thanks Goldfinch! And that is all it is....imagination!
I can see the scene (and wonder what you did with those under pants) - so descriptive - great write.
Well, Michael, if you dance naked, your dirty underwear has to go somewhere! It was put there strictly to paint the scene!
🙂
A fine write Fred. Would I get past 'fumbling' without swooning?! heehee.
Thanks orchidee, I think you would have fainted way before the second bottle was emptied!
Fred, it's a scenario that anyone could be portrayed in. Power to your imagination!
Thanks AP, if this is a 20 something, you call it the wild years. If it is a 40 or over somebody, you would call it a loser. I think sometimes about how the perception of something we do changes with age.
One word Fred... maturity! But then, there is a child in all of us that wants to stay young.
Amen to that!
What a wild life to clean up, hope the underwear could be cleaned properly. 🙂
m&m, it is amazing how much attention that underwear got! I am starting to think that it might be a no-no to ever mention under garments in poems! 🙂
How I came up with it is that I was trying to picture the scene in my mind: Empty bottles lying around, that overfilled ashtray, and clothes strewn all over. Maybe I should have had the guy pick up a pink bra! 🙂
Your mind thinks in lateral style like all good poets Fred - -could really feel the sad realization of that sobering morning-after.
Thanks so much Fay! I think a poet's mind is all over the place. From reading your oh so beautiful poems I get the feeling that your mind sometimes even leaves the body.
And thank you for picking up on that 'sobering morning-after' feeling that I really tried to convey.
wow SOME PARTY ! I'm much too young for such shenanigans ! Thanks for baring (your soul !) ~ Yours BRIAN !
Thank you Brian, if you never danced naked, you should try it one day. Just don't do it in public! 🙂
Am not so sure I 'bared my soul', after all it was my imagination that wrote it.
Thanks FRED for baring your imagination ! I have been at Music Festivals where some of the audience danced naked in the Rain ~ I maintained my modesty by keeping my cycle cape on ! Fortunately it was not too windy ~ always a problem for My Scots Friends ! Yours BRIAN
Wow. I loved this. Incredibly realistic, so vivid. Well done. Thank you.
Thanks simple-man! But tell me, if you 'know' it is realistic, you must have 'been there - done that'! 🙂 Just kidding! Thanks for reading and commenting!
Sir, I have been trying to sweep up my lifes mess for the past 2 years. And I think we've ALL danced naked at some point. lol.
You have a great imagination. I too have dabbled in "fantasy" poems. They are fun to do and yours was so well done! Very vivid imagery. Felt like I was watching this scene play out!
Thank you so much Christina! Where would we be without our imagination?
you been hiding somewhere, Fred Peyer?
Hiding behind my own insecurities, but I am now peeking out a little bit!
good man.
Never, ever, clean up completely. Always leave some small reminder of what was.That way, you'll find thi/ongs later, and ask yourself, I wonder who these belong to?"
Great poem, honest and sincere, imaginative based experience, defining the aging process, and one hell of a party. - Phil A.
Thanks so much, MF! Love that 'thi/ongs', you are not only a good writer, but also an inventor of new words! But you know, it can be dangerous to leave the thi/ongs out. Who knows who will be at the next party?
Just what I needed for my first read in a while thank you such.
Glad to be of service! Thanks so much PD!
To be able to comment and rate this poem, you must be registered. Register here or if you are already registered, login here.