NEVER light a fire

On Christmas Eve perchance

Santa Claus comes early

And burns his ........... underpants !


Kissing under the MISTLETOE

At work or shopping ~ now NO GO !

What used to be just Pal to Pal

Is now harassment S E X U A L !


RUDOLPH'S red nose

And manner merry

Is caused by drinking

Santa's SHERRY*


On the Twelfth Day of Christmas

My True Love said to ME

I'm leaving you ~ but you can keep

The Plastic Christmas Tree !


Too much Turkey's bad for you

Some of the things ~ it makes you do

Gobble ~ Wobble ~ Hobble ~ Nobble !

And if you well ~ What the F * * K

It causes you to Strut & Cluck !


Thanks for visiting ~ comments welcome ~ Love BRIAN XOX


* In the UK we always leave a CARROT for RUDOLPH

Mince Pies for the SLEIGH ELVES and a schooner of

SWEET SHERRY for SANTA ~ which RUDOLPH slurps !  




  • FineB

    Thanks Brian.

    A delightful poem.

    Xmas is around the corner.

    Keep writing


      THANKS FINE ~ In the UK Christmas starts for real in the FIRST DAY of December when we open DAY ONE on our ADVENT CALLENDAR ! I love CHRISTMAS QUICKIES ! Advent Hugs ~ BRIAN @@@

    • orchidee

      A fine write Brian.
      I was saved from an awful fate, of kissing my last manageress. I can't tell you how ghastly it would have been. Some other women did not mind a peck! Peck??
      Quickies?! Swoon! heehee.

      • BRIAN & ANGELA

        Thanks STEVE ~ Take care too much Turkey gives you a tendency (but not a licence !) to PECK ! I've some Lady Bosses who were IMPECCABLE ! Yours BRIAN !

      • Michael Edwards

        Looking forward to the new year - this Christmas stuff is something I find it hard to endure - but secretly enjoy - don't tell my wife or I'll lose my grumpy cred.

        • BRIAN & ANGELA

          Well we all have our fitting DICKENSIAN CHARACTER ~ I'm MICKAWBERISH ~ always expecting something good to turn up ! I know I'm a bit premature but CHRISTMAS for me is always MAGIC and our Choir gets to sing (2 evenings) INSIDE SAINSBURYS and they serve us with warm Mince Pies and GLUWEIN ~ We collect for "The Mission to Deep Sea Fishermen" and usually collect £500+ ! One of the many Joys of Christmas. Last night I presented a Programme of Bing's Christmas Music to "A Blind & partially sighted CLUB" ! C'est la vie de NOEL ~ Yours BRIAN

        • Christina8

          It's always interesting learning your culture--like leaving a carrot for rudolph. Interesting. Loved every bit of these quickies. They were cute and funny! Wonderful job!! Christmas hugs-Christina

        • BRIAN & ANGELA

          THANKS CHRISTINA (lovely name !) There are 3 billion Christians in the World and every Country has it's own Christmas Customs. Christmas in Puebla Mexico is much different (and Warmer !) than Christmas in London UK ! I am visiting the German Christmas Markets (with a College Group ~ next week) and a lot of our Christmas Customs come from Prince Albert who married Queen Victoria (1819 ~ 1901) in 1840 ! These include having Christmas Trees in our Houses ! I like short poems (QUICKIES) because they have to be "witty" ! Pleased you liked them and the reference to Rudolph "The most famous Reindeer of ALL" Christmas HUGS for you too ~ please check my new FUSION on CHRISTMAS ~ Thanks ~ BROTHER BRIAN @@@@@@@

        • Contagious Leslie

          That is cute

          • BRIAN & ANGELA

            Thanks LESLIE ~ I like to inject a bit of fun & humour into MPS ~ Thanks for you appreciation ~ BRIAN (UK)

          • FredPeyer

            Looks like you are off to a good start into the Christmas Season! Enjoyed these quickies!

            • BRIAN & ANGELA

              THANKS FRED ~ for an encouraging comment ! Officially in the UK Christmas starts on Friday (First of December 2017) when we start to open our Christmas Calendar ! Please check my FUSION on CHRISTMAS ~ Thanks BRIAN

            • 🐤s.zaynab.kamoonpuri🌷😸

              A merry funtastic humour poem on xmas. Enjoyed reading what is exotic for me. Thumbs up. And merry Christmas poet Brian.

            • BRIAN & ANGELA

              Thanks FRIEND ~ Pleased you liked it ~ Christmas & New Year in the UK is always exotic. A lot of the glitz and glitter (Trees ~ Cards ~ Excessive Feasting ~ Extravagant Presents ~ Displays of Light and Fireworks etc only date back to the Victorian Period (from 1838) which is about 180 years ago. It is CHRISTMAS ~ not HAPPY HOLIDAY but for many people the real meaning of CHRISTMAS (God's gift of His Son ~ JESUS ~ to redeem the Human Race) is often forgotten ! Yours BRIAN

            • myself and me

              Ho, ho, ho, Santa can't wait any more.

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