A FEW LUNES
Filial saplings
Stretch and reach
Beneath canopies
Sun surveys the land
Spring arrives.
Summer is waiting.
Beside the green pool
Deep and dank
The whispering trees.
No wandering path
Hedge and fence
Denying access
Wisps of gentle clouds
Floating clefs
Playing silent tunes.
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Author:
Michael Edwards (
Offline) - Published: November 30th, 2017 00:18
- Comment from author about the poem: The lune was created by the poet Robert Kelly and was a result of his frustration with the haiku. It is a 13-syllable, self-contained poem that has 5 syllables in the first line, 3 syllables in the second line and 5 syllable in the final line. Unlike haiku, there are no other rules. No need for a cutting word. Rhymes are fine; subject matter is open.
- Category: Unclassified
- Views: 117
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Comments7
Michael, what can I say? You are a master at these "technical' poems! Like all of them, but the second one is my favorite!
I find them great fun especially when you have a single idea but not sure how to develop it - answer : just keep it short in one of these. Thanks Fred.
Never heard of lunes but I have now and will have to try them, I write haiku and senryu but these obviously allow a bit more freedom.
The last one speaks to me and my love of music.
It's a new one to me too - only just stumbled across it on one of the sites - so much easier than the more rigid forms.
Good writes Michael. The only lune I knew, was lunacy! heehee.
Once when I was looking for inspiration I went up in a ballune but I soon came down to earth (actually in a potato field).
THANKS MICHAEL ~ I am a LUNETIC and have used them in the past. As a tribute to you I may publish a "Clutch of Lunes" later today ! A single LUNE always strikes me as Poetic Minimalism ! I take you point about the niggling constraints of HAIKU ! I have been on other sites where they took HAIKU much more seriously and if one poste one that was NOT 575 or rhymed or not about Nature or Seasons etc then you where castigated ~ which is very painful ! I have always been interested in clouds and have lectured on them (CLOUD 7 !). Love the painting ~ very LUNE ! 5 Buildings ~ 3 Fields ~ 5 Trees ! Yours BRIAN
Thanks Brian - looking forward to your posting. I agree about the fanatics who can't think outside the box - for this reason I usually call them 'in haiku format' rather say they are haikus or even just say in ' 575 format'. Mind you it would be great if there a few more classical postings on this site - there are only a very few of us who reach out.
Always love your color paint, so fresh and peaceful. Enjoy those lunes.
Thanks m&m.
Awesome write
I love the watercolor, if that is what it is! Robert Kelly, not so much. As in most constrained, rigidly structured poetry, it just doesn't speak to me. You did, however, convey his style quite well in these, Michael. Congratulations on tackling the challenge successfully!
Yes - it is a watercolour Louis , what I like about them is that they convey a scene and say so much in so few words and yet leave the reader wondering. No path and yet a hedge and fence - denying access to whom and from what?
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