“You wanna fuck tonight?”
Sharp intake of air
Chicken bone from warmed up chicken
stuck in my throat
Head turning red
From bone or from question
Don’t know
Violent cough
Bone and chicken splattering
The dinner table
She never talks like that
Reads weird books though like
‘marriage without boredom’ or
‘I am woman’
I don’t need a book to tell me
She is a woman
Heck, I married her
Looking at her
She, looking right back
She is serious
I am shocked
Can’t even remember
The last time we fucked
Or at least tried with
Me falling asleep
With my hand down there
Wow, she means it
Better lay off the beer
Have to perform tonight
“Don’t forget to shower”
What am I?
A five year old?
I always shower before bed
Maybe she wants to suck me
Can’t remember the last time
She did that either
“Let’s shower together”
She is kidding, right?
No
So we do
A warm up
For the main round
Did the tub get smaller
Or did we get bigger?
It was a lot easier
And tons more fun
To shower together
When we were twenty
I drop the soap and slip
Grab the closest thing for balance
Her breast
The left one I think
It is just hanging there
Well, kind of
She yells
I let go and fall on my ass
Hurting nothing but my pride
But who cares, I have
Fucking to look forward to
“Can you do my back?”
Soaping her back with my left hand
The right one sneaking between her legs
Doing unspeakable creative moves
she used to moan about
and quite loud too
at least the neighbor at
the time thought so
But not this time
“Cut it out, can’t you wait til bed?”
The little bit of emerging life in my dick
Dies a premature death
Hopefully to be revived again later
Unlikely, but stranger things have happened
Note to myself
Think positive
Somehow we do make it to the bedroom
And onto the battlefield
“Let’s make this one special”
No idea what she means
Until she turns around
Giving me a good look
At her ass
A full moon rising
Her mouth poised above my dick
Like a cobra
Ready to strike
But then her dentures pop out
The lower ones
They never did stick properly
And I remember just in time
There is a game on TV
-
Author:
Alfred Peyer (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: January 5th, 2018 00:08
- Comment from author about the poem: I am going out on a limb here. Didn't know if I really wanted to post this one, but finally decided I have nothing to lose. Call it artistic freedom! This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
- Category: Humor
- Views: 68
Offline)
Comments7
Hahahahaha! That is freaking hilarious.
Your a real comedian. Do your thing, but not if it is getting dentures.
Thanks FJ6! Glad you found it funny too! And you are right, we need to look out for low flying dentures!
Just hilarious - I'll keep returning to this to brighten my day - you sure did the right thing publishing and here's me thinking muffin the mule was a bit racy. Great one Fred.
Thanks so much Michael, I guess we have to reach a certain age to realize that laughing about ourselves and our daily foibles is the best medicine.
My first laugh of the day Fred, for that I am truly grateful.
I do know where you are coming from as well.
Thanks Goldfinch! Am very happy to have brightened your day a bit.
Have to come along with buckets of cold water there to chuck over ya both. Swoon! heehee.
Thanks orchi, no need for cold water, I am watching the game!
Ahh, not slap and tickle. You went off to see the game - footie?!
Ha ha ha! Brilliant Fred!
- Syd
Thanks Syd, wouldn't call it 'brilliant', but am happy you liked it.
it's been 10 minutes and i'm still laughing LMAOO
Thanks alisha! The greatest pleasure for any writer is to make the reader think or laugh!
ha ha ha, so funny, love the fact that you weren't sure about posting it; I would be the same, and then what did you think? F%!k it? I love the hopeful anticipation and then comical let-down - awesome. There is a word for this - can't remember; it's very very late here and I should be in bed. (On my own!!!)
Thanks for appreciating it! You know I don't use the F-word hardly ever, am not inclined to swear. But there are times, as a writer, we must use specific words to get the effect we want. What is more, we cannot be serious all the time.
Wishing you a happy night! (I am 10 or 11 hours behind you, can't remember)
it's nearly 3am, omg, i MUST get to bed. It's your fault, all these lovely poems to read....such good therapy! But goodnight Fred, until tomorrow. 🙂
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