You wanna f**k Tonight?

FredPeyer

“You wanna fuck tonight?”

Sharp intake of air

Chicken bone from warmed up chicken

stuck in my throat

Head turning red

From bone or from question

Don’t know

Violent cough

Bone and chicken splattering

The dinner table

She never talks like that

Reads weird books though like

‘marriage without boredom’ or

‘I am woman’

I don’t need a book to tell me

She is a woman

Heck, I married her

Looking at her

She, looking right back

She is serious

I am shocked

Can’t even remember

The last time we fucked

Or at least tried with

Me falling asleep

With my hand down there

Wow, she means it

Better lay off the beer

Have to perform tonight

 

“Don’t forget to shower”

What am I?

A five year old?

I always shower before bed

Maybe she wants to suck me

Can’t remember the last time

She did that either

 

“Let’s shower together”

She is kidding, right?

No

So we do

A warm up

For the main round

Did the tub get smaller

Or did we get bigger?

It was a lot easier

And tons more fun

To shower together

When we were twenty

I drop the soap and slip

Grab the closest thing for balance

Her breast

The left one I think

It is just hanging there

Well, kind of

She yells

I let go and fall on my ass

Hurting nothing but my pride

But who cares, I have

Fucking to look forward to

 

“Can you do my back?”

Soaping her back with my left hand

The right one sneaking between her legs

Doing unspeakable creative moves

she used to moan about

and quite loud too

at least the neighbor at

the time thought so

But not this time

 

“Cut it out, can’t you wait til bed?”

The little bit of emerging life in my dick

Dies a premature death

Hopefully to be revived again later

Unlikely, but stranger things have happened

Note to myself

Think positive

Somehow we do make it to the bedroom

And onto the battlefield

 

“Let’s make this one special”

No idea what she means

Until she turns around

Giving me a good look

At her ass

A full moon rising

Her mouth poised above my dick

Like a cobra

Ready to strike

But then her dentures pop out

The lower ones

They never did stick properly

And I remember just in time

There is a game on TV

  • Author: Alfred Peyer (Pseudonym) (Offline Offline)
  • Published: January 5th, 2018 00:08
  • Comment from author about the poem: I am going out on a limb here. Didn't know if I really wanted to post this one, but finally decided I have nothing to lose. Call it artistic freedom! This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
  • Category: Humor
  • Views: 68
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Comments +

Comments7

  • ForeverJesus7

    Hahahahaha! That is freaking hilarious.
    Your a real comedian. Do your thing, but not if it is getting dentures.

    • FredPeyer

      Thanks FJ6! Glad you found it funny too! And you are right, we need to look out for low flying dentures!

    • Michael Edwards

      Just hilarious - I'll keep returning to this to brighten my day - you sure did the right thing publishing and here's me thinking muffin the mule was a bit racy. Great one Fred.

      • FredPeyer

        Thanks so much Michael, I guess we have to reach a certain age to realize that laughing about ourselves and our daily foibles is the best medicine.

      • Goldfinch60

        My first laugh of the day Fred, for that I am truly grateful.
        I do know where you are coming from as well.

        • FredPeyer

          Thanks Goldfinch! Am very happy to have brightened your day a bit.

        • orchidee

          Have to come along with buckets of cold water there to chuck over ya both. Swoon! heehee.

          • FredPeyer

            Thanks orchi, no need for cold water, I am watching the game!

            • orchidee

              Ahh, not slap and tickle. You went off to see the game - footie?!

            • Syd

              Ha ha ha! Brilliant Fred!

              - Syd

              • FredPeyer

                Thanks Syd, wouldn't call it 'brilliant', but am happy you liked it.

              • alisha

                it's been 10 minutes and i'm still laughing LMAOO

                • FredPeyer

                  Thanks alisha! The greatest pleasure for any writer is to make the reader think or laugh!

                • Elsie

                  ha ha ha, so funny, love the fact that you weren't sure about posting it; I would be the same, and then what did you think? F%!k it? I love the hopeful anticipation and then comical let-down - awesome. There is a word for this - can't remember; it's very very late here and I should be in bed. (On my own!!!)

                  • FredPeyer

                    Thanks for appreciating it! You know I don't use the F-word hardly ever, am not inclined to swear. But there are times, as a writer, we must use specific words to get the effect we want. What is more, we cannot be serious all the time.
                    Wishing you a happy night! (I am 10 or 11 hours behind you, can't remember)

                    • Elsie

                      it's nearly 3am, omg, i MUST get to bed. It's your fault, all these lovely poems to read....such good therapy! But goodnight Fred, until tomorrow. 🙂



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