Watta Lotta Excrement.

Goldfinch60

Walking down the forest lane

In between the trees,

I turned around the corner,

And got covered all in fleas.

 

They stung and bit and scratched me

‘Til I could stand no more;

So ran into the river;

And found a sunken door!

 

The passage that I found there

Led me round and round and round,

‘Til I saw my bum in front of me,

Dragging on the ground.

 

The trail it made I followed

‘Til another door stood there,

It opened of its own accord,

And before me stood a bear

 

The bear was red and green and blue,

And tall as any tree,

And pulled my bum into it’s lair,

Followed soon by me!

 

It took me to his bedroom,

And threw me on the bed!

Then placed its arms around me;

And scratched me on the head.

 

When at last asleep it fell.

The plug hole I went down;

And came out in a squirrels dray,

Which cost me half a crown!

 

 

Down the tree I climbed and fell,

Until I hit the ground;

And there I stood dazed and amazed,

With fairies all around!

 

 

They said that they should thank me

From their elbows to their knees,

For saving each and all of them,

When blessing every sneeze!

 

A goblin chased me out from them

And sent me on my way;

Straight into a water fall,

Where I was splashed with spray.

 

The water washed me down and down

And set me on a beach;

Where a sealion gave me comfort,

That was still just out of reach!

 

I stretched and stretched until at last

I found a hook to grip,

And found myself upon the sea;

Aboard a sinking ship!

 

The ship went down and hit the floor

Of this gigantic sea;

And there before me was another door,

And through it I could see.

 

I saw the wood from whence I came

And hurried straight on through;

And ended up with you lot,

A strange and motley crew!

 

I tried to stop this poem

Far earlier in its flight;

But it just kept on going,

This awful load of excrement.

  • Author: Goldfinch60 (Pseudonym) (Offline Offline)
  • Published: January 26th, 2018 02:41
  • Comment from author about the poem: Just a bit of fun for a Friday. Enjoy you motley crew.
  • Category: Humor
  • Views: 24
  • Users favorite of this poem: Caring dove
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Comments +

Comments9

  • orchidee

    Oh lol, fine write Gold. I shall have to nip round there and add some water to ya whisky, after all that! heehee.

    • Goldfinch60

      You keep away from my whisky!!!!

    • Caring dove

      lol goldfinch ! love this ... such a light hearted and fun read ! ha ha . thanks for sharing . tho i would say maybe edit the ending lol not being rude or anything but my opinion is it would be better without the word excrement anyhow but great piece of writing

    • Caring dove

      i find the title a little off- putting and that word excrement , its a constructive criticsm .. by far overall this is a great piece of writing which i loved , but that word is unpleasant , and would be better without it

      • Goldfinch60

        The word excrement was used deliberately to cause more humour, there is a word that will rhyme but it is more amusing not to rhyme.

        • Caring dove

          to be honest with you goldfinch , i didn't find it funny , in fact i think you kind of ruined the ending with that word.. maybe i have a different sense of humour to others ...

        • Michael Edwards

          I like the term 'Bovine excretia' but what the heck. Whatever, a great fun read for a Friday (or any day come to that) .

        • Goldfinch60

          Thanks Michael, much appreciated.

        • FredPeyer

          I guess you could have said 'shit', but that wouldn't have changed much. While you certainly have artistic freedom, and while I do love your poem, I can see the point Charlotte made. Otherwise incredibly funny and great writing!

        • Caring dove

          no offense intended ,

          • FredPeyer

            Charlotte, I think you were right, at least partially. I do like it if readers take the time to point out things they like or do not like about any poem. If it is done in a nice way, like you did, there is no problem. I am not Goldfinch, so it is up to him to answer your comment. But I am glad you spoke your mind!

            • Goldfinch60

              None taken, I am a firm believer in the fact that we are all different and that if we were all the same it would be a very boring life. Thanks for your comments, keep them coming.

              • Caring dove

                of course , we are all different and i respect that, 🙂 it just would have been nice if you had ended it differently , it was such a good sounding poem , i think you let yourself down a little ... just keep writing how you want to , tho 🙂

              • orchidee

                If we didn't like this poem, or even liking it, I suppose we could say it's a s***ty write! But you is too refined for that word! Wash your mouth out, Orchi!

              • Louis Gibbs

                I'd like some of what you've been drinking, Goldie. Clever write!



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