My heartache is unceasing,
My loved one is with me in body,
But not in mind.
Why do you do this Lord?
All her life she has been here for you,
Praising you with her prayers,
Praising you with her singing,
But now she is different.
You have taken her life from her,
Is this a punishment?
If so, for what?
Not an unkind thought in her,
But now her thoughts are confused.
The smile is still there,
The love for me is still there,
But the woman and lover that I knew
Has disappeared,
Disappeared into her own world.
Why Lord, why?
I pray all the time for her
But she is still the same.
My Faith is strong but being tried,
Am I right in being Faithful?
Help me Lord,
Please help me.
-
Author:
Goldfinch60 (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: January 28th, 2018 03:24
- Comment from author about the poem: I was having second thoughts about posting this, but it does show my true feelings at this time. My wife is going into a Care Home tomorrow for a week so that I can have a break (respite) from the 24/7 care I have to give her.
- Category: Sad
- Views: 27
- Users favorite of this poem: dusk arising, Accidental Poet.
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Comments7
A sensitive write Gold. It's easy to give 'pat' answers, if we have any. We may only then appear 'super-spiritual'.
I don't know what I would have done, e.g. in Peter's shoes. Probably run away with him and the other disciples at Jesus' trial. In that case, Jesus knew they would run away.
Hope you find some true Christian support. I admit I play 'going to church' a bit, and may not get too involved there. Then I feel bad if I genuinely need to ask for help - but I should not feel bad really.
Thanks Orchi, it is a real trial of my Faith.
aaw bless you and i am so sorry for your wife....i am not sure if it is punishment , i guess bad things happen in life but i can understand why you say this , it is very unfair , this illness she has and of course it affects you , so sorry , its not fair at all . why do so many unfair things happen to people? i honestly do not know , but i can say i have had the same type of questions about my own life with all of my hurt which i have had to endure, it also makes me feel like i am being punished, for what i do not know. and although i am not a huge believer in god, my opinion is... bad things happen to people in life and god does not control what does and does not happen , its just life, its cruel and bad things happen . i am sorry for you and your wifes pain
Thank you Charlotte, my Spiritual belief is never in doubt and all will be write once we are called to God.
My heart goes out to you my friend. I think you show us here the torture youre enduring.
Hold that faith firmly in your heart. None of us know what awaits us ahead but i know i wouldnt want to be without my firm belief.
Make use of this respite time, you are still a warm sentient being, do things which bring some joy.
It feels odd to say tis goes into my favourites but i'm so moved by your words that it must go there.
Thank you da, my Faith in My Spirit will never waver.
I intend to use the respite, luckily on Wednesday evening the Jazz Club that I go to meets so I can lose myself in Jazz (the same afternoon I go to a Poetry Group of which I am allegedly the leader).
Thank you for your kind words, may your belief remain strong.
So very moving this honest appeal for help dear friend - - wishing you rest and peace while your wife is being cared for elsewhere. Life can be such a trial at times. A powerful write.
Thank you Fay. As all are aware writing does help in many ways.
Much of what was about to say has been written above - suffice it to say that this is written from the heart of a caring loving man - my heart goes out to you Andy.
Thank you Michael, she means the world to me.
God bless you Andy for your devotion to your wife and faith. Alzheimer's disease is a sad and tragic thing to have, and I believe its not God's intention for anyone to be affected by its stealing of memory and personality. Its as many other things in our world that we have no reasons why they are there, but must endure. God's gift to your wife is you Andy. He knew you would give her the best possible care available. Give to her your best before sending her back to him. From your loving arms to God's loving arms.
Thank you AP, all I can ever do is my best, I try the best I can.
That's all you can do Andy.
I said it before, Goldie, I admire you. Your love for her shines through every day, and your faith does and will help you. But, you are only human, and there are days when even the strongest man needs to rest, needs to recharge the batteries. There are days when even the strongest believer has doubts and questions.
Thank you Fred. You are right the batteries do need recharging and this week will be the time to connect to the charger.
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