WOULD SHE SURVIVE ?

Michael Edwards

 

 

WOULD SHE SURVIVE?

 

 

Faults

weakness

impotence.

Would she survive

a force that held her bound with no escape

when she well knew that freedom would evade

her tortured sole.

Suffering

anguish

pain

anguish

suffering.

her tortured sole

When she well knew that freedom would evade

a force that held her bound with no escape

would she survive?

Impotence

weakness

faults.

 

 

  • Author: Michael Edwards (Offline Offline)
  • Published: February 28th, 2018 00:35
  • Comment from author about the poem: Tetractys, a poetic form invented by Ray Stebbing, consists of at least 5 lines of 1, 2, 3, 4, 10 syllables (total of 20). Tetractys can be written with more than one verse, but must follow suit with an inverted syllable count. This example is a double versed example which is then mirrored.
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 86
  • Users favorite of this poem: Jamie
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Comments +

Comments11

  • Jamie

    This is intricate, this was not an easy thing to do, and with meaning, bravo, maestro, bravo!

    • Michael Edwards

      Thank you so much Jamie and thank you for the save. I often write in different forms although limerick and haiku tend to be my favourites, probably because I find them the easiest. Lol

      I'll check out your poetry and hope you liked the painting - a village near mine painted about a year ago.

    • Jamie

      I always enjoy your paintings, both the canvas and the page.

    • Goldfinch60

      Clever write Michael.

      • Michael Edwards

        thanks Andy - fun to write in a masochistic sort of way.

      • orchidee

        Good write and pic Michael. I doubt I could do a hymn-poem like this. None of that metre, as far as I know.
        I do 'easier' 8.6.8.6. often - called a Common Metre - fits to hundreds of hymns, even loads that I don't know the tunes for!

      • orchidee

        Did this take hours to write? I tend not to be long in writing, but may be long in waffling on in some long poems!

        • Michael Edwards

          I scribbled down the idea and then played around with the words while watching TV - so yes took quite a while but more because I had divided concentration.

        • Lorna

          I absolutely applaud your discipline Michael! Both in poetry and your beautiful beautiful paintings! This was fun to read and to follow the "pattern" - very clever!

          • Michael Edwards

            thank you Lorna - I've just been compiled a folder of different poetry types so might try something else over the next few days,

          • BRIAN & ANGELA

            MORNING MICHAEL ~ Thanks for your explanation DOUBLE MIRROR TERACTYS ~ It looks ~ reads & sounds excellent ~A Compleat Poem ! LOVE THE snowless Painting ~ very rural ! Yours in awe BRIAN !

            • Michael Edwards

              Thanks Brian - I kinda guessed you would appreciate this.

            • Christina8

              Excellent poetic form, must have been hard to create with meaning within the confines of the poem. Great job!

              • Michael Edwards

                Very restrictive but worth the effort - thanks Christine

              • rrodriguez

                This is awesome and very well written Michael... bravo!

                • Michael Edwards

                  That's really kind of you - thanks rr

                • FredPeyer

                  Michael, in your answer to Goldie you mentioned the word 'masorchistic', just looking at your poem made me think how long it would take me and how much pain it would be to do something like that. You really are good, but you now that already! Kudos!

                  • Michael Edwards

                    Thanks Fred - yes it did take a while although attention was divided.

                  • myself and me

                    The content and the shape of the poem are beautiful.

                    • Michael Edwards

                      Thanks so much m&m - I appreciate your encouragement.



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