FredPeyer

Death is Overrated (A Humorous Short Story)

Death is overrated.

 

If you assume an average life expectancy of 75 years which is 27,375 days, your odds to die on any given day is 1:27,375.

 

So why are you afraid of death? You should worry more about suffering an accidental injury from a firearm discharge (1:6,000), or being struck by lightening (1:10,000).

Even getting hurt from fireworks (1:19,556), getting injured by a chainsaw (1:4,464), or cutting yourself shaving (1:6,585) is much more likely at any given day, than dying.

 

Being considered possessed by Satan (1:7,000) is nearly four times more likely to happen at any given day, than dying.

 

And we don’t even want to talk about being audited by the IRS (1:175), having your identity stolen (1:200), or getting hemorrhoids (1:25), all of which will be from 136 to 1095 times more likely than dying that day.

 

Just think, the chance that the earth will experience a catastrophic collision with an asteroid in the next 100 years is 1:5,000 which means it is more than five times more likely to happen at any given day than you dying.

 

This, I think, puts death into perspective. If it is five times more likely to be hit by an asteroid tomorrow than to die, then worrying about dying does not make any sense. If you need to worry about something, worry about asteroids.

 

If you are over 75 years old, each day the odds of dying increase by one. At 80 years old your odds are 1:29,200, and at 82.2 years old you pass the 1:30,000 mark. So, the older you get, the higher the odds!

 

This is just great, and should be an occasion to celebrate life, instead of worrying about death!

 

And keep in mind that tomorrow you will be 2737.5 times more likely to catch the flu (1:10) than having to say goodbye to this beautiful life!

Comments12

  • Michael Edwards

    Think I'd better take some vitamin C - super write this one Fred - I feel a lot better now.

    • Michael Edwards

      Woke up this morning dying for the loo so I knew I am okay for another day and another posting.

      • FredPeyer

        Thanks Michael, that vitamin C sounds like a good idea. I usually also take some fish oil (Omega 3), but then screw it all up again by drinking too much coffee! (No tea for me!). And yes, if your bowel movements work, everything is ok!

      • 1 more comment

      • Christina8

        A very informative write. I've already had the flu, so I guess it's time to celebrate life!! Thanks for sharing these great statistics!

        • FredPeyer

          Thanks Christina, statistics can be fun, it all depends on how you look at them!

        • Accidental Poet

          My fears are not of dying itself, but of not accomplishing all that I want to do before I die. But even then, once I'm gone, I'm gone and all that won't matter anymore. What waits on the other side will be the new joy of life. Great write Fred.

          • FredPeyer

            Thanks AP, I hear you! We are all in the same boat. The older I get, the faster time seems to move.

          • Laura

            Fred,
            A great write! Love all your statistics! Never thought about death...statistically! As my mom says, “We’re here whenever it comes! It doesn’t need an invitation!”

            Let’s enjoy what we have left!

            ~Laura~

            • FredPeyer

              Thanks Laura, and as somebody famous (can't remember) once said: I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when he comes.

              • Laura

                Touché...my friend!

              • Goldfinch60

                Good write Fred, each day is wonderful as I rise from my bed, as I did an hour ago 05:50 UK time.

                • FredPeyer

                  Thanks Goldie, that is exactly what I ask for, to get up each morning. Once that is accomplished, everything else falls into place!

                • Lorna

                  Death sounds far and away the best choice after these others!

                  • FredPeyer

                    Thanks Lorna, ahhw, come-on, getting hit by an asteroid sounds much more exciting! :-)

                  • orchidee

                    A fine write Fred. Erm, I tried not breathing for 24 hours one day. It didn't work out very well. Hmm, strange that! heehee.

                    • FredPeyer

                      Thanks orchi, I know KP took your breath away, but 24 hours is kinda long!

                    • myself and me

                      Love it. That is why math is so important, it will give you a clear view. Even though the chance to die is less but once it happened, it is permanent and irreversible.

                    • FredPeyer

                      Thanks so much m&m! Yes, math is important and the fun part with statistics is that you can turn them around any which way you want. But who says death is permanent and irreversible. Maybe for the body we have now, but I do believe that my soul will be back, maybe as a woman, who knows! :-)

                    • skyebellasario

                      Great write Fred! I have never looked at death from this perspective before

                    • FredPeyer

                      Thank you skye! There is always a first, isn't there?

                    • Jhe

                      this was really interesting / had some amazing facts
                      and was funny too ☆
                      thanks for sharing / caring!



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