Goldfinch60

Doing Nothing.



It is so strange,

I feel so relaxed, but I feel so sad.

My loved one is away from me,

She is away for a week,

That week is to help me,

Help me recover from the hell,

The hell of her dementia.

I am living two lives,

Hers and mine.

Hers because she cannot,

Cannot do the things,

The things she always could,

I have to do them.

Each day it gets worse

But this week I am alone,

Alone to recover and not worry,

Not worry about her.

She is safe and cared for

By caring staff in the home.

It is only a week,

But I can live just my life,

Do what I want to do,

Even if it is nothing.

Comments9

  • orchidee

    A fine write and clip Gold. We had some similar family matter, though not dementia. Sadly, the person passed away some years ago.
    Any more 'openings' seen in the 'bubble' as it were?

    • Goldfinch60

      Thanks Orchi, unfortunately the bubble seems to be getting stronger and more impenetrable.

    • Michael Edwards

      Do enjoy your week - you deserve it although I fully understand the mixed feelings you must have.

      • Goldfinch60

        Thank you Michael, it is a mixed blessing.

      • BRIAN & ANGELA

        Thanks ANDY ~ Love the"QUEEN of SHEBA" we often have as an entrance in our CHURCH Either from CD or the ORGAN with violin & cello ! 37 Years for second time round is good run ! Friends in our Church Group use "respite care" and view it with a mixture of "freedom & guilt". When either Husband or Wife had to go permanently into CARE ~ some have described it as "worse than death" because they feel so alone and helpless. Within our Church there is a good corps of Carers & Helpers & Visitors ~ its like having a FAMILY of 100 on your doorstep ~ AMEN BRIAN

        • Goldfinch60

          Friends at the Church do help, it is a pity that the Minister doesn’t.

          Thank you for your comments Brian.

        • FineB

          Thanks Goldfinch60.

          I used to work in Mental Health at one time and attend Carers meetings. They do an incredible job caring for loved ones in challenging circumstances.

          Enjoy your rest and thank you for this great poem.

          I hope matters in the future will not be too difficult.

          Keep writing
          FineB

          • Goldfinch60

            Thank you FineB, the carers in the home she is in are wonderful and so dedicated.

          • Jane Frye

            I thought about your write for hours. I, too, lost the love of my life under similar circumstances. I felt helpless, and incredibly sad. The worse part for me is a sense that I failed him. It's been four years now, and I'm still grieving, trying to sort things out in my heart and head. I have not yet found the collateral beauty in his and my tragedy; but, when I do, I'll be sure to write about it, as I hope you will. Take care.

            • Goldfinch60

              I can understand that sense of failure but there is nothing else you or I can do but to be there for them. Thank you for your kind response.

            • Candlewitch

              may you have time to sooth your soul and rest.

              *hugs, Cat

              p.s.
              your strength is an inspiration!

              • Goldfinch60

                Thank you Cat, all I can do is the best I can.

              • ZIGGY

                hi I don't know what gave cause for this write but I got a sense of it with Unsub's comment I hope this write helped to throw off those feelings in some way I believe people like you are chosen to care for those in need hope you can find yourself in your free time again kind regards …………...zigs

                • Goldfinch60

                  My poetry is the lifeline I use to get by with the situation, it is my escape from the reality of my wife’s dementia bubble which is getting harder to penetrate. Thank you for your kind remarks, much appreciated.

                  • ZIGGY

                    hi I am glad that poetry helps at least best regards ,,,,zigs

                  • Christina8

                    You are in my thoughts and prayers. Take time for you to rest!

                    • Goldfinch60

                      Thank you Christina, much appreciated.

                    • Laura🌻

                      Andy,
                      I concur with all that Unsub wrote with regard to your write’s content!

                      As you know, I can empathize with your situation! I know you’re thinking of Joyce every day...how could you not to?! She’s the love of your life!
                      Do rest up this week...at least physically!
                      I know how important it is! My own days with my mom are getting more difficult as each day goes by!

                      Thinking of you...relaxing, relaxing, relaxing!

                      ~Laura~




                      • Goldfinch60

                        Thank you Laura, relaxing is the key to ensure I am stronger when Joyce comes back into our home tomorrow.



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