Comments received on poems by TWENTY3
ABC
🐤s.zaynab.kamoonpuri🌷🐦😽 said:
Wow awesome alliteration in poem, fine lament and poetic complaint.
Plz pleez do read and comment my newest poem, but if it\'s difficult then just skip commenting.
November 11th, 2020 06:32
🐤s.zaynab.kamoonpuri🌷🐦😽 said:
Wow awesome alliteration in poem, fine lament and poetic complaint.
Plz pleez do read and comment my newest poem, but if it\'s difficult then just skip commenting.
November 11th, 2020 06:32
ABC
dusk arising said:
Dastardly defiant delivery desrves due dutiful deference
denying dogmas, dramas, decay, & defacation,.. diverting delicate
deliberation, ... depth, & diligent decorum distracting denizens doubtful
duplicity.. .diverted... dead!
August 25th, 2020 10:55
dusk arising said:
Dastardly defiant delivery desrves due dutiful deference
denying dogmas, dramas, decay, & defacation,.. diverting delicate
deliberation, ... depth, & diligent decorum distracting denizens doubtful
duplicity.. .diverted... dead!
August 25th, 2020 10:55
SHE
L. B. Mek said:
to Survive, and still stride on the Right side of life!
what an imaginative depiction of overcome emotional trauma: unvarnished, raw and proudly vulnerable
August 1st, 2020 04:44
L. B. Mek said:
to Survive, and still stride on the Right side of life!
what an imaginative depiction of overcome emotional trauma: unvarnished, raw and proudly vulnerable
August 1st, 2020 04:44
You\'re a Homewrecker
dusk arising said:
A man - eater. Got hurt as a teenager by a man and swore to take revenge on the whole fekin gender.
Plenty of them about.... \"heaven help them, when they fall\"
July 17th, 2020 07:43
dusk arising said:
A man - eater. Got hurt as a teenager by a man and swore to take revenge on the whole fekin gender.
Plenty of them about.... \"heaven help them, when they fall\"
July 17th, 2020 07:43
You\'re a Homewrecker
L. B. Mek said:
Brilliantly innovative and unashamedly bold - in its depiction of untamed:
boiled-kettle implosion,
of self-awareness!
May I suggest, (if you are not already aware of it) you look-up:
\'If I told him, a Completed Portrait of Picasso\' by Gertrude Stein
A work of similarly mind boggling journey, of word athletics
July 17th, 2020 06:14
L. B. Mek said:
Brilliantly innovative and unashamedly bold - in its depiction of untamed:
boiled-kettle implosion,
of self-awareness!
May I suggest, (if you are not already aware of it) you look-up:
\'If I told him, a Completed Portrait of Picasso\' by Gertrude Stein
A work of similarly mind boggling journey, of word athletics
July 17th, 2020 06:14
You\'re a Homewrecker
TWENTY3 said:
Jolly isn\'t the word in my head when I wrote this one but thanks.
July 17th, 2020 06:12
TWENTY3 said:
Jolly isn\'t the word in my head when I wrote this one but thanks.
July 17th, 2020 06:12
Demon Dog Envy
Goldfinch60 said:
Wonderful dark write, have you been taking lessons from Unsub?
Andy
March 5th, 2020 01:56
Goldfinch60 said:
Wonderful dark write, have you been taking lessons from Unsub?
Andy
March 5th, 2020 01:56
Demon Dog Envy
Saxon Crow said:
I enjoyed this dark epic voyage very much my friend.
March 4th, 2020 15:36
Saxon Crow said:
I enjoyed this dark epic voyage very much my friend.
March 4th, 2020 15:36
Demon Dog Envy
dusk arising said:
I\'m glad this was only two verses because i was terrified. I think i should have soiled my underwear had there been a third verse.
I\'m out of breath.
March 4th, 2020 13:49
dusk arising said:
I\'m glad this was only two verses because i was terrified. I think i should have soiled my underwear had there been a third verse.
I\'m out of breath.
March 4th, 2020 13:49
Just habit
Goldfinch60 said:
Very emotive write 23. Maybe she just wasn\'t the one for you but I am sure there is somebody out there for you.
Andy
February 25th, 2020 01:52
Goldfinch60 said:
Very emotive write 23. Maybe she just wasn\'t the one for you but I am sure there is somebody out there for you.
Andy
February 25th, 2020 01:52
Just habit
dusk arising said:
Reminded me of a piece i wrote some time ago:-
How many times
must we taste
and try
the fruits of
the love tree
before we find
perfect sweetness
Sad fact is, we fail in most love matches probably until two people who are prepared to compromise come together.
Your piece really evocative of the massive hole in ones life immediately after a break up. Well written and presented. Delightful finale to dwell upon.
February 24th, 2020 10:40
dusk arising said:
Reminded me of a piece i wrote some time ago:-
How many times
must we taste
and try
the fruits of
the love tree
before we find
perfect sweetness
Sad fact is, we fail in most love matches probably until two people who are prepared to compromise come together.
Your piece really evocative of the massive hole in ones life immediately after a break up. Well written and presented. Delightful finale to dwell upon.
February 24th, 2020 10:40
Just habit
ANGELA & BRIAN said:
BRIAN HERE ~ Good Afternoon TWENTY3 ~ Thanks for your second Poem. There are two aspects to every Poem ~ Structure & Subject. MPS has many very different Structures mainly Left or Centre Centered very few chose RIGHT HAND CENTERED & IN BOLD which makes your Structure (Style) very distinctive. This in turn compels us to read it and also to comment ! Most of us have *Loved & Lost* ~ Im 36 so it has happened more than once. My MANTRA (being a Man) is *Better to have Love & Lost than never to have Loved at all* I have learned useful lessons from all my liaisons with LADIES ! Your poem highlights some if the things one misses when a relationship ends. The bed half-empty - traces & scents of your Lover - making TWO of everything - sounds (CDs etc) - smiling photograph etc ! All these things remind us & make us think of the depth of our relationship - that has now ended. Many MPS Members (Yin & Yang) will emphasise with the elegantly penned Subject of your Poem for today. Thnaks for sharing - more please !
Yours BRIAN !
February 24th, 2020 10:09
ANGELA & BRIAN said:
BRIAN HERE ~ Good Afternoon TWENTY3 ~ Thanks for your second Poem. There are two aspects to every Poem ~ Structure & Subject. MPS has many very different Structures mainly Left or Centre Centered very few chose RIGHT HAND CENTERED & IN BOLD which makes your Structure (Style) very distinctive. This in turn compels us to read it and also to comment ! Most of us have *Loved & Lost* ~ Im 36 so it has happened more than once. My MANTRA (being a Man) is *Better to have Love & Lost than never to have Loved at all* I have learned useful lessons from all my liaisons with LADIES ! Your poem highlights some if the things one misses when a relationship ends. The bed half-empty - traces & scents of your Lover - making TWO of everything - sounds (CDs etc) - smiling photograph etc ! All these things remind us & make us think of the depth of our relationship - that has now ended. Many MPS Members (Yin & Yang) will emphasise with the elegantly penned Subject of your Poem for today. Thnaks for sharing - more please !
Yours BRIAN !
February 24th, 2020 10:09
Sunday
ANGELA & BRIAN said:
HI TWENTY3 ~ Further to UNSUBS comment & your comment on my comment ! (Hope that makes sense !) Sunday really is non-working day for 90% of the UK Population so they can in fact choose to do waht they want on a Sunday ! Rest ~ Play ~ Shop or even Go to Church ~ 5% do in fact choose to do so ! The Stats for Sunday are that only 50% of the UK Population work and out of the total Population of 68 million only 10% work on a Sunday. In my book 90% is a very large majority of people who have SUNDAY FREE to spend as they choose. Im not arguing with the fact that only 5% of the Population choose to attend a Christian Church on Sunday but it is still a lot of people 3,400,000 !
Yours BRIAN !
February 24th, 2020 09:45
ANGELA & BRIAN said:
HI TWENTY3 ~ Further to UNSUBS comment & your comment on my comment ! (Hope that makes sense !) Sunday really is non-working day for 90% of the UK Population so they can in fact choose to do waht they want on a Sunday ! Rest ~ Play ~ Shop or even Go to Church ~ 5% do in fact choose to do so ! The Stats for Sunday are that only 50% of the UK Population work and out of the total Population of 68 million only 10% work on a Sunday. In my book 90% is a very large majority of people who have SUNDAY FREE to spend as they choose. Im not arguing with the fact that only 5% of the Population choose to attend a Christian Church on Sunday but it is still a lot of people 3,400,000 !
Yours BRIAN !
February 24th, 2020 09:45
Just habit
Seek said:
Your poem made me wonder who lost out. Not you my friend. Someone missed the love boat. Doors are many and will open for those who seek. Loved this!
February 24th, 2020 08:58
Seek said:
Your poem made me wonder who lost out. Not you my friend. Someone missed the love boat. Doors are many and will open for those who seek. Loved this!
February 24th, 2020 08:58
Sunday
Goldfinch60 said:
Good write EBBNFLOW, this site suts all styles and you obviously have your own style which works for you and is appreciated by me and others. Keep writing and sharing your work with us all.
Welcome to MPS
Andy
February 21st, 2020 02:00
Goldfinch60 said:
Good write EBBNFLOW, this site suts all styles and you obviously have your own style which works for you and is appreciated by me and others. Keep writing and sharing your work with us all.
Welcome to MPS
Andy
February 21st, 2020 02:00
Sunday
myself and me said:
God is not inside the church. At least, you could use Sunday to write. Nice writing. Welcome.
February 20th, 2020 20:04
myself and me said:
God is not inside the church. At least, you could use Sunday to write. Nice writing. Welcome.
February 20th, 2020 20:04
Sunday
dusk arising said:
Welcome to mps. This is a great first piece from you. You have your own style and should not pay too much attention to those who would have you \'do it their way\'. In the end your way will be your choice.
I\'d encourage you to read much of the poetry contributed here and find styles which appeal to you (if any LOL). That way you may find yourself absorbing some features of other contributors style into your own as your writing continues.
By all means feel free to rip the hell out of anything i have contributed on mps. I\'m guess i\'m a bit of a chameleon changing from one style to another.
Looking for ward to seeing more from you.
February 20th, 2020 12:46
dusk arising said:
Welcome to mps. This is a great first piece from you. You have your own style and should not pay too much attention to those who would have you \'do it their way\'. In the end your way will be your choice.
I\'d encourage you to read much of the poetry contributed here and find styles which appeal to you (if any LOL). That way you may find yourself absorbing some features of other contributors style into your own as your writing continues.
By all means feel free to rip the hell out of anything i have contributed on mps. I\'m guess i\'m a bit of a chameleon changing from one style to another.
Looking for ward to seeing more from you.
February 20th, 2020 12:46
Sunday
ANGELA & BRIAN said:
Good Evening EBBnFLOW (thats Life !) welcome to MPS it is a very empathetic Site. It operates by reading & commenting on each other POEMS ~ OK. Your Poem is a good example of a MELANCHOLIC MUSE ~ espressed in 30 very intersting lines of Free Verse ! We get many Melanchloic Muses on MPS ! Your Poem reminded me of Johnny Cashs *Sunday morning Coming Down* check on YOUTUBE ~ OK. Sunday is an intersting day because in the UK it is (for most) a Day of Rest but also Worship & Introspection.
LINES 1 - 9 Paint a sad picture. Your mirror image reflects your life ~ Despairing ! You cant even recall the the happiness of you own Childhood ~ and *Today is Sunday !*
LINES 10 -17 Sunday is a a *Day of Worship* my Fiancee Angela & I ~ but many have no Praise to offer. You do not feel any guilt ~ but that your Destiny is HELL not HEAVEN ! However you feel you will be welcomed (in HELL) with Open Arms !
LINES 18 - 24 You imply GOD has forsaken You ~ and left you to the Wolves ~ BUT ~ despite this you have suvived another WEEK !
LINES 25 - 30 You imply LIFE is a fight against the ODDS (and the GODS ?) and many would agree with you !
Peace & Joy & Survival !
Yours ANGELA & BRIAN
🧡🤍💙🧡🤍💙
February 20th, 2020 12:32
ANGELA & BRIAN said:
Good Evening EBBnFLOW (thats Life !) welcome to MPS it is a very empathetic Site. It operates by reading & commenting on each other POEMS ~ OK. Your Poem is a good example of a MELANCHOLIC MUSE ~ espressed in 30 very intersting lines of Free Verse ! We get many Melanchloic Muses on MPS ! Your Poem reminded me of Johnny Cashs *Sunday morning Coming Down* check on YOUTUBE ~ OK. Sunday is an intersting day because in the UK it is (for most) a Day of Rest but also Worship & Introspection.
LINES 1 - 9 Paint a sad picture. Your mirror image reflects your life ~ Despairing ! You cant even recall the the happiness of you own Childhood ~ and *Today is Sunday !*
LINES 10 -17 Sunday is a a *Day of Worship* my Fiancee Angela & I ~ but many have no Praise to offer. You do not feel any guilt ~ but that your Destiny is HELL not HEAVEN ! However you feel you will be welcomed (in HELL) with Open Arms !
LINES 18 - 24 You imply GOD has forsaken You ~ and left you to the Wolves ~ BUT ~ despite this you have suvived another WEEK !
LINES 25 - 30 You imply LIFE is a fight against the ODDS (and the GODS ?) and many would agree with you !
Peace & Joy & Survival !
Yours ANGELA & BRIAN
🧡🤍💙🧡🤍💙
February 20th, 2020 12:32
