Comments received on poems by jazmine zillmer
Rain
Cheeky Missy said:
Fascinating metaphors you've associated with rain! Excellent imagery. Thought-provoking and very interesting. The conclusion is so delightful. I enjoyed this!
July 22nd, 2011 21:14
Cheeky Missy said:
Fascinating metaphors you've associated with rain! Excellent imagery. Thought-provoking and very interesting. The conclusion is so delightful. I enjoyed this!
July 22nd, 2011 21:14
Catching up (child’s play)
Cheeky Missy said:
Fascinating.....and a perceptive perspective on growing up, seems to little me. You depicted it excellently with your allusion to seasons and a butterfly! I quite enjoyed it. (PS "fulfilled"? in the third line from the bottom?)
January 25th, 2011 23:50
Cheeky Missy said:
Fascinating.....and a perceptive perspective on growing up, seems to little me. You depicted it excellently with your allusion to seasons and a butterfly! I quite enjoyed it. (PS "fulfilled"? in the third line from the bottom?)
January 25th, 2011 23:50
Demons and Angels of Us
Cheeky Missy said:
Well, actually, seeing your title included the demons, I think the conclusion would be more correct if your concluding line rather read...."A game the devils call "life." Afterall, the Lord Jesus Christ is the Way, the Truth, and the Life, and the Life of all the people He saves; while all the rest of mankind remains dead in their sins....so that what is this vain life we lead....can it truly be defined as life? And if our souls are calling to be freed, only He can make us free, as He says. This is an interesting, obviously thought-provoking piece. I enjoyed it. Another suggestion, after the two-word line "Be sad" are you missing an "are" in the next line...ie "there [are] times to do both"?
January 23rd, 2011 18:44
Cheeky Missy said:
Well, actually, seeing your title included the demons, I think the conclusion would be more correct if your concluding line rather read...."A game the devils call "life." Afterall, the Lord Jesus Christ is the Way, the Truth, and the Life, and the Life of all the people He saves; while all the rest of mankind remains dead in their sins....so that what is this vain life we lead....can it truly be defined as life? And if our souls are calling to be freed, only He can make us free, as He says. This is an interesting, obviously thought-provoking piece. I enjoyed it. Another suggestion, after the two-word line "Be sad" are you missing an "are" in the next line...ie "there [are] times to do both"?
January 23rd, 2011 18:44
