I
see
from my
window now
from yonder brow
they come towards me
My heart starts to quake when
fears ~ I scream but no one hears !
My heart starts to quake when
they come towards me
from yonder brow
window now
from my
see
I
Thanks for visiting ~ comments welcome ~ love BRIAN XOX
A DIAMOND PIVOT POEM has an odd number of lines ~ here 15
The syllabus pattern is 1 (I A or O ?) 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 1
Lines 1 to 8 must form a perfect triangle ~ Lines 9 to 15 repeat
lines 7 to 1 which will be a perfect inverted triangle. The whole
will form a perfect DIAMOND and will make sense when read !
-
Author:
BRIANSODES (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: August 21st, 2017 01:59
- Category: Fantasy
- Views: 84
- User favorite of this poem: myself and me.
Offline)
Comments11
Clever write Brian, that diamond must be worth a fortune.
Thanks ANDY ~ I have now added an explanation of how they are written ! Thanks for your comment, Yours BRIAN
These are not all easy to write and this is such a great example - enjoyed the read.
Thanks MICHAEL ~ I was pleased with it glad you were ! Like many things in life ~ if you get the top half right ~ the bottom takes care of itself ! Yours BRIAN
Such a lovely form the diamond poem and so apt the sense in the words you chose Brian.
Thanks FAY ~ there are always (at least) three factors in a PIVOT FORM POEM ! 1. The pivot line has to be challenging 2. The bottom half has to read as "meaningful" as the top half (which it mirrors !) 3. The "shape" has to be as geometrically exact as possible ! Thanks for your encouragement ~ Yours as ever BRIAN
An intriguing one, this. Visually appealing. Kudos, Brian!
Thanks LOUIS ~ With a FORM POEM there is always a Battle between the Shape and the Subject. In this example ~ the SHAPE WON ! Yous BRIAN
To me, the shape of a poem is an integral part of its beauty. Well, done!
Very interesting format, I had never heard of it. And an intriguing poem it makes.
Thanks AZURA ~ The World of Poetry is infinite ! You will have seen POEMS in the shape of Christmas Trees ~ balls ~ pyramids etc they are called Form or Shape Poems ! They are easy to do on MP because you can centre your Poem after you have written it ! Mine PIVOTS about the middle line (line 8) and then repeats so the bottom half of the diamond is symmetrical with the top half ~ OK. Pleased you liked it you should try one ~ Yours as ever BRIAN
Swoon! Not cos of a 'hot' poem, but *staggers back in amazement at how educational it is on here*! heehee. A fine write B. I'm still fussing about me 'metres'!
Thanks STEVE ~ on other Poetry Sites we had to explain the STRUCTURE of the Poem and how it was was written. Pleasd you liked it BRIAN
Diamonds are to be shaped as poems. Gorgeous write Brian. Enjoyed reading. I have a series of pictures called from my window. Love the title. Intriguing.
Thanks MALU ~ I have always liked shaped poems ~ they add an extra dimension ! Windows are awesome and what we see through them and out of them is sometimes best left unsaid ! Pleased you liked it ~ Diamond & Heavenly Hugs ~ Brother BRIAN
Holly potato chip! A diamond with poem in it, even not seen one in museum. Far beyond nature power. I will keep this one in my safe box.
Thanks M & M ~ Natural diamonds were formed in the intense Heat & Pressure of the inner Earth ~ This one was formed in the Heat & Pressure of my inner mind so it is equally valuable ! Thanks for you comment ~ BRIAN
An Epu-wotsit?! I must tune in for that!
Thanks STEVE ~ It's never too LATE to LEARN. Both SANTITA & MICHAEL have already posted An EPULAERYU ! It sounds good enough to eat and EP's must be about FOOD GLORIOUS FOOD. I will explain the syllabic from when I post ! EPULAE is a Latin word meaning Feast or Banquet and RYU is an Asiatic word meaning FORM (as in SENRYU). So an EPULAE~RYU is a Poetic Form about FOOD ! OK BRIAN Please check my FISH CHIPS & MUSHY PEAS tomorrow ~ OK
An awesome format you chose and it worked out wonderfully! You never cease to amaze what new type of poetry you are going to do from day to day. Love it! Hugs-Christina
Thanks CHRIS ~ Welcome ! I always say there are two important factors in the presentation of any Poem. The STRUCTURE and the SUBJECT and they must work in harmony, With a DIAMOND POEM (or any FORM Poem) the object is to create as perfect a DIAMOND (or HOUR GLASS etc) as possible! Using a PIVOT POEM ensures that if the top is a perfect triangle (lines 1 to 7) so will the bottom (lines 9 to 15) because they are the reverse of 7 to 1 (think about it) When centered and printed either side of line 8 (the pivot) you get a perfect DIAMOND. As far as the SUBJECT is concerned the problem is to make lines 9 to 15 make as much sense as lines as lines 1 to 7 ! In line 7 I changed the word WITH to WHEN which helped lines 9 to 15 to make more sense ~ OK.
Writing structured poems correctly is never easy, Tomorrow its an EPULAERYU (Food form poem) on Fish & Chips & Mushy Peas ~ all will be explained ~ please visit Diamond Hugs ~ BRIAN
Clever stuff
Thanks BE ~ In essence POETRY is just an expression of LIFE & LOVE in words ! Classical ~ Modern and Experiential Poetry is still jut STUFF but rearranged in a different (CLEVER ?) way. Thanks for your comment ~ very apt ~ BRIAN
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