LIMERICKS 46, 47, and 48

Michael Edwards

 

 

LIMERICKS 46 47 & 48

 

 

We stayed at a Hotel in Bled

where the notice board quite clearly said:

‘Live singing tonight’

and they sure got it right,

for none of the singers were dead.

 

She appeared to be chaste and discerning

but the truth is now slowly emerging

for the folk in the town

who know the lowdown

have dubbed her the ‘second hand virgin’

 

 

A heavyweight swimmer from Perth

had such an expansive girth

when she dived from the quay

all the ships in the sea

had to find an alternative berth.

 

 

 

  • Author: Michael Edwards (Offline Offline)
  • Published: January 21st, 2018 01:16
  • Comment from author about the poem: Watercolour is of the pre-reformation church just a few yards from my front door. We currently have a great debate about the individual pews inside which some want to remove for very valid reasons and others want to remain - there are few left in the country and should be preserved. Plus the limericks for a smiley Sunday.
  • Category: Unclassified
  • Views: 48
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Comments7

  • FredPeyer

    Hillarious, Michael! Love them! All three are so good, I can't make up my mind about which one I like the most. In the end it is between one and two, with two edging one by a very very narrow margin!
    You are a master! And that church painting ain't bad either!

    • Michael Edwards

      Thanks so much Fred - Yes I think No3 edges it - I love the idea of a second hand virgin and have to admit I was laughing my socks off when it came to me - I wrote the limerick around the phrase.

      • FredPeyer

        You are so right, sometimes all it takes is one line, and then we can construct whatever around that line. You did a great job. With your permission, I might (might, not will) use that 'second hand virgin' as inspiration for a poem, giving you proper credit! 🙂

      • 1 more comment

      • Goldfinch60

        Good fun writes Michael, especially the second one.

        We had the pews in our Church removed back in 2003, again after much discussion but it seems to work for us and it is a so much flexible space.

        • Michael Edwards

          Yes that's the argument - the church can be used for little else with the Victorian pews (which are effectively a modern addition) and that's a great shame but to do away with them when there are so very few examples left would also be a great loss - anyway the argument rages on.

        • orchidee

          Oh lol, good writes and pic Michael. There's a church in our town, dating from 12th Century - old exterior, modern interior. Cries of 'gasp, shock, horror', from some who expected to find it 'old' inside too!

          • Michael Edwards

            Ours is also 12th century and a bit of a tourist attraction - one of the few churches I know which is left unlocked in daylight hours. It is also very old inside with some murals dating way back to its early days. Thanks Orchi - pleased you liked today's offerings,

            • orchidee

              I know a church unlocked in daytime too. But it's in middle of nowhere, in the country. Only ramblers, etc, would be likely to call in. Was I singing in Limerick No.1? Am I alive, or made of wood, when I sing?!lol.

            • BRIAN & ANGELA

              LOVE THE PAINTING ~ Thanks for posting ! As you know I love to go to Church ~ BUT ~ I'm not a "hair shirt" Christian ! If I am to enjoy the sermon ~ I need a comfortable seat ~ even Football Stadiums now have them ! The CHURCH is the PEOPLE not the PEWS (or Gothiic Arches or Stained Glass Windows ~ Clerical Dress etc !). Evangelical Churches are warm have comfy seats etc which is why they are popular. Older people often join us and say "Why does the C of E have to be so cold ~ dark ~ dank and dusty ?"
              Love the limericks especially No. 2 ~ Yours BRIAN

              • Michael Edwards

                Thank you Brian - yes most CofE churches are not very inviting - I visit an Evangelical church every week and the difference is amazing.

              • Lorna

                This was fun!

              • Mottakeenur Rehman

                Fantastic!

                • Michael Edwards

                  Thanks M - so pleased you think so.

                • Heather T

                  Sigh-worthy painting, and plenty of giggles throughout! That secondhand virgin got me good!

                  • Michael Edwards

                    Thanks so much Heather - can't beat a mile.



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