Sitting here alone with a pint in my hand
No one is coming near me I cant understand
Maybe because earlier I fell to the floor
People just do not want to know me anymore
Do not think I am abusive or really rude
Maybe at times I can be a bit crude
That is me I'm old and I really do not care
Think I'll chat up that lady over there
I stagger over but she is playing darts
Just as well I let out one massive fart
Its all the beer accumulated inside of me
I am human after all as you will see
I order another pint maybe my last
Chatting up this lady will be a hard task
Looking through blurred vision I seem alright
My aim is to take this lady home with me tonight
I chance my luck stagger over for a chat
She looks from afar like I am some bog rat
I am now not too sure about all of this
Really am breaking my neck for a piss
I walk over to her like a proud man
Holding my belly in as tight as I can
I brace myself and think of a good line
"Sit your arse down for a glass of wine"
Looking at me with disgust and shame
she points at my trousers at the wet stain
No bladder control age is not on my side
Gone have them years where I had some pride
I walk away clutching my beer to my chest
Feeling puzzled looking at the hole in my vest
On the way to the loo I bang my head on the door
One good thing though I didn't fall to the floor
I blow my nose but I cannot understand
Why most of the snot is somehow over my hand
I wipe it on my trousers no one will know
Somehow its the only place it will go
My snobby lady makes her exit through the door
I do wave to her but Oops I fall to the floor
Somehow my teeth are now stuck to my shoe
Pop them back and smile what else can I do?
My wonky eye is now tired and sore
Could force myself to have one more
Than I shall be in the land of nod
Yes I know what your thinking I'm a knob
-
Author:
Elaine (Pseudonym) (
Offline) - Published: April 23rd, 2018 13:59
- Comment from author about the poem: Please do not think I am taking the mick out of old people, I am certainly not This character was like someone I knew years ago, I thought the world of him
- Category: Humor
- Views: 48
- Users favorite of this poem: kevin browne, Noah
Offline)
Comments11
I think many of us have known or know of someone like this. The old guy I remember seemed unable to shave himself properly and as a result had cuts and nicks and tufts of beard which he seemed to consistently miss with the razor. The bit that makes it more poignant is that he was probably younger than I am now. Enjoyed your write Elaine.
Thank you Michael for your lovely comment means a lot Ha ha your right about the beard its funny really as he was like that, and I doubt he was younger than you then, he was about 70 odd lovely man though
Bless you Kitcat - I am still active, exercising daily, a follower of modern fashion, no health problems, an active artist who exhibits and sells widely (watercolours acrylic, - abstract as well as representational - and sculptures) , a poet, an avid gardener, and still travelling extensively. I guess this all keeps ne young _ I'm actually 75 but don't tell anyone lol 🙂
You're forever young Michael.......... never pin a number on a sage........
Michael I meant to answer you yesterday
You are definitely a man of many talents I admire you.
You must work very hard and put all your heart and soul into everything you do I bet you do very well and so you should
Looking at your photo your looking good and pleased you have no health issues You haven't got time Bless you
ah, good old pub life summed up perfectly here in your great expression of it. I'll buy you a beer for that one.
Aww Thank you Kevin for you lovely comment Oh! Lovely A beer 🙂 Oh and I just noticed You have saved it as one of your favourites Thank you so much
Thanks KITKAT ~ I'm only 35 but it is warning many MEN don't grow old gracefully ! My DAD who I take after is 71 and now that he is retired I can see some of the symptoms you mention. Chatting up ladies when my Mum is not present ~ Passing wind ~ Lack of control of water works after 3 pints etc. But to me He is still GOD cos He's MY DAD and I'll be old too some day Thanks for sharing ~ Yours BRIAN Please check my poems & FUSION GOOD HABITS ~ BAD HABITS Thanks B.
Hello Brian Thanks very much for your great comment as you know means so much to me
So you have a dad like that ah great and of course he is your God and you just dont know how you are going to be at 71 of course could be just like your dad ha ha Thanks again and I will take a look at your good habits ~ bad habits :-))
a work of art!
Thank you so much Paul your lovely comment made me really smile
Hello Tepo Ha ha your funny Thank you for your lovely compliment
Only a couple lines in and I hit the favorite button haha
Hello Noah Ah thank your such a star 🤗
Great write, I have seen these 'old guys' in the pub but they were always worth talking to. I, like Michael, am one of the 'old guys' being seventy this year but I too am still active, writing poetry and singing in three choirs and of course looking after my wife.
Hello Goldfinch Thank you for a lovely comment You do sound like Michael very active (nothing like him in the poem ha ha) Your both talented men and I admire you both for that, I love choirs. You also look after your wife, which I know is hard work, being an ex carer myself Bless you
Hi kitcat - and all this is especially understandable when you watch someone slowly progress to this point! Sometimes you just look up and say "where did he go?"
Hi Lorna You are so right Really does take all sorts Thank you for commenting
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