Horror And Fear - A Very Dark Poem

What's all this Orchi?

A departure from your usual style?

Didn't think you liked 'dark' poems much?



Oohh, be scared, be very scared!

Nope, not tales of demons or ghosties

But worse - probably....


But why Orchi? Why all this fretting?

Cos--- I'm about to sing!

Get ya ear-plugs

Or turn up ya radio to drown me out!


Oh yes, it's worse than 'Eastenders'

(A ghastly soap serial on telly in the UK)

You won't know though - 

Is it me or two cats fighting?


Ya won't be able to bear it long

It'll drive ya insane

Torment ya day and night

Cos I'm gonna do

A 24 hour marathon-sing!



Now look, Orchi, it can't be that bad

You've not even marked this as '18+'

Give it a whirl!


Ok - 'The hills are alive......'

Just call me Julie (Andrews)

Call me anything within reason

But don't call me Edith

Dunno why Edith -  just random!


How much more of this inane babbling is there, Orchi?

Well, I'll finish now

I'm available for concerts, shows, solos, etc

Don't ya know?!

And I best put this sherry down now

And have a pork pie or three!

And then tell ya a tale or two about 1066!


Yeah, yeah, Orchi!

(He means well, ya know! heehee)

Wot - you're gonna sub-title this poem:

'Ramblings of a madman'!

  • Author: orchidee (Offline Offline)
  • Published: June 16th, 2018 02:06
  • Comment from author about the poem: A mad poem and clip in no metre at all! lol.
  • Category: Humor
  • Views:


  • orchidee

    If it was truly 'dark' I would mark it 18+, being somewhat of a 'watchdog' on here (not a moderator). Woof!

  • Michael Edwards

    Not so much ramblings but more like shamblings which gives it a certain je ne sais pas quo.
    Wouldn't call it dark but with definite sepia overtones and I can't hear a thing so carry on singing.

    • orchidee

      Thanks Michael. Of course, it's a true write! heehee.

    • RiverJordan

      Such a horrow show haha

      • orchidee

        Thanks River lol.

      • Frogspoetry

        I loved it,especially the cat videos.they are hilarious.

        • orchidee

          Thanks Frogs.

        • Laura🌻


          This poem and video
          are hilarious! 😹😹

          A departure from your usual.
          How much sherry did you, anyway?🙀


          • orchidee

            I used to be madder more often in poems - but I'm better now! (am I? lol). The sherry started me off on mad ramblings. Dunno how though, as I'm 99% tee-total! Ramblings of sherry-filled and pork-pie-scoffing days, and nuttiness from 1066! Thanks Laura.

            • Laura🌻

              You’re welcome 😊 and...

              I attribute your awesomeness to a natural high! They’re the best!

            • Goldfinch60

              Well it’s abiut time too that the people on this site see you for the nutcase that you are, even after all that time since 1066 you still have not learned that people need to be aware of the true you. Now put the sherry down and just breathe.

              • orchidee

                Thanks Gold lol. Can I get round to putting that sherry down? Must be good acting by me. People are believing I'm actually on the sherry!

              • BRIAN & ANGELA

                Thanks ANDY ~ SATURDAY ~ Mad as a Hatter Day ! Love CATS and like Ladies of a certain age ~ They are naturally FUNNY ~ Men of all ages are funny ~ but most don't know it ! One thing is certain that Panda Cat can sure sing in TUNE and much better than my Friend STEVE ! My POEM ~ I Remember You ~ is light but not mad !
                The POETRY DOKTOR is IN so I will try to analyse !
                VERSE 1. Steve dont do DARK Poems V 2. Be scared ~ worse than demons ! V 3. Orchi is about to SING ~ NO ! V 4. Even worse than "Eastenders" (is that possible ?) V 5. One song is bad enough but a 24 hour Song Cycle (where's the CYANIDE ? Not for ORCHI for ME !) V 6. NO EARLY WARNING ~ MONSTER ! V 7. Its not just the Hills it's the Whole Town V 8. Available for BAR MITZVAHS ? I'll warn the Rabbi ~ He knows what happened to Walls of Jericho (one scoop or two ?) and a New Synagogue costs $3 million ! Hide the Pork Pies ! V 9. OK Steve ~ I'm a Doctor and I'll certify you ~ intentionally insane ~ HALF PRICE (100 guineas) for paid up MPS Members ! Thanks for your confession STEVE ~ its so so cathartic and antartic as well ~ OK ~ MUCHO SYMPATICO ~ Psyciatrico BRIAN

                • orchidee

                  Thanks Brian lol.

                • FineB

                  Thanks Orchidee.

                  An entertaining and amusing poem.

                  I enjoyed it.

                  Keep writing

                  • orchidee

                    Thanks Fine. Bonkers! lol.

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