Comments received on poems by vividvoid14
my reality
Bobby O said:
The witch fits perfect but then you quit applying that magic. For instance this line- now I want you to look at it like it’s a naked girl waiting to be ravaged for fun fun but instead you leave it and do nothing. Now I’m a little peeves. After you read this line, which I’m going to print out in a second no forever never leave a fucking line that way is sitting there waiting for knockout for home run and you just left it like with no effort and you keep doing it I don’t keep telling you you don’t know how to look back at what you wrote and say Ollie I need to fix this now by now you gotta know it you gotta look at this shit you write different you gotta go back and think I gotta fix some stuff and you don’t do that yet you have to do that OK here’s the line
persona
i know im sad even when i smile even when i laugh
March 1st, 2024 00:01
Bobby O said:
The witch fits perfect but then you quit applying that magic. For instance this line- now I want you to look at it like it’s a naked girl waiting to be ravaged for fun fun but instead you leave it and do nothing. Now I’m a little peeves. After you read this line, which I’m going to print out in a second no forever never leave a fucking line that way is sitting there waiting for knockout for home run and you just left it like with no effort and you keep doing it I don’t keep telling you you don’t know how to look back at what you wrote and say Ollie I need to fix this now by now you gotta know it you gotta look at this shit you write different you gotta go back and think I gotta fix some stuff and you don’t do that yet you have to do that OK here’s the line
persona
i know im sad even when i smile even when i laugh
March 1st, 2024 00:01
closed door
Cassie58 said:
The upsets in life do make us stronger, though at the time that can be difficult to accept. Keep writing and reading a lot of poetry. That is the best way to learn. I didn’t write my first poem until I was forty. Have s great day.
February 27th, 2024 10:43
Cassie58 said:
The upsets in life do make us stronger, though at the time that can be difficult to accept. Keep writing and reading a lot of poetry. That is the best way to learn. I didn’t write my first poem until I was forty. Have s great day.
February 27th, 2024 10:43
closed door
Bobby O said:
I like the content but it’s just statements. Poetry needs to be alive w comparison , draw the reader’s mind to a recognizable image and draw them to it. Like the “tears” lines
Fighting back tears but they broke free slowly then my cheek felt a stampede as my eyes surrendered to my sadness ,
In other words create an image of crying , font Judy say you cried. Yiu should know ski that by now. You’re talking in love with your ideas and forgetting to improve concepts. Sentences are biting. The whole thing needs a to rewritten.
February 27th, 2024 01:14
Bobby O said:
I like the content but it’s just statements. Poetry needs to be alive w comparison , draw the reader’s mind to a recognizable image and draw them to it. Like the “tears” lines
Fighting back tears but they broke free slowly then my cheek felt a stampede as my eyes surrendered to my sadness ,
In other words create an image of crying , font Judy say you cried. Yiu should know ski that by now. You’re talking in love with your ideas and forgetting to improve concepts. Sentences are biting. The whole thing needs a to rewritten.
February 27th, 2024 01:14
lovely sight
Parisab said:
Your words light a candle to face the dark. Ignorance is the weapon of evil, so keep writing and be kind to yourself. Side note I like some of the anime work too, except when has hidden clues to encourage self harm or hurting others. Bet if you look closely you’ll see them. Consume it like art, but nothing more, my poetic friend.
February 25th, 2024 11:27
Parisab said:
Your words light a candle to face the dark. Ignorance is the weapon of evil, so keep writing and be kind to yourself. Side note I like some of the anime work too, except when has hidden clues to encourage self harm or hurting others. Bet if you look closely you’ll see them. Consume it like art, but nothing more, my poetic friend.
February 25th, 2024 11:27
i miss you my dear friend
Cassie58 said:
Your pain was truly felt by this reader. I hope you are able to salvage your friendship with mia and your other friends. Your detailed write was touching.
February 25th, 2024 00:17
Cassie58 said:
Your pain was truly felt by this reader. I hope you are able to salvage your friendship with mia and your other friends. Your detailed write was touching.
February 25th, 2024 00:17
fusion poem
Parisab said:
Good job, I’ll join like this:
“Burning the Demon” of fear,
Vivid words win, over pain
Freezing ney saying evil,
he’ll win, be it, sun or rain.
February 16th, 2024 20:13
Parisab said:
Good job, I’ll join like this:
“Burning the Demon” of fear,
Vivid words win, over pain
Freezing ney saying evil,
he’ll win, be it, sun or rain.
February 16th, 2024 20:13
fusion poem
Parisab said:
Hey Vivid, to start your fusioned poem go to your public profile and stroll down to Start a poem on Fusioned Poem section
February 16th, 2024 18:04
Parisab said:
Hey Vivid, to start your fusioned poem go to your public profile and stroll down to Start a poem on Fusioned Poem section
February 16th, 2024 18:04
fusion poem
NinjaGirl said:
its not working i want to participate tho so if you figure it out lmk
February 16th, 2024 10:59
NinjaGirl said:
its not working i want to participate tho so if you figure it out lmk
February 16th, 2024 10:59
till the day i die
Parisab said:
Great symbolism of the beehive to describe dangerously bitter thoughts. Our racing minds can sting and make our life situation sticky. I like this concept and can’t wait to hear about when the honey turns sweet. Keep writing Vivid, but don’t forget to dance, talented one!
February 16th, 2024 01:02
Parisab said:
Great symbolism of the beehive to describe dangerously bitter thoughts. Our racing minds can sting and make our life situation sticky. I like this concept and can’t wait to hear about when the honey turns sweet. Keep writing Vivid, but don’t forget to dance, talented one!
February 16th, 2024 01:02
time to die
Bobby O said:
Nice write. I encourage you think about pairing these cathartic writes with another that teaches toward optimism. It’ll help me keep from worrying about my friend ???
February 15th, 2024 19:03
Bobby O said:
Nice write. I encourage you think about pairing these cathartic writes with another that teaches toward optimism. It’ll help me keep from worrying about my friend ???
February 15th, 2024 19:03
till the day i die
David Wakeling said:
This is quite a sad description of the human condition.But hey we all go through it
February 14th, 2024 15:02
David Wakeling said:
This is quite a sad description of the human condition.But hey we all go through it
February 14th, 2024 15:02
no longer my dad
Bobby O said:
Wow! I felt that. You really hit me w this one and it’s obvious you’ve listened well Gone is the military pacing , replaced instead by Heartfelt prose
Props
February 12th, 2024 12:55
Bobby O said:
Wow! I felt that. You really hit me w this one and it’s obvious you’ve listened well Gone is the military pacing , replaced instead by Heartfelt prose
Props
February 12th, 2024 12:55
no longer my dad
Hey! said:
I agree. I just love this. It shows your perspective on it.
February 11th, 2024 19:47
Hey! said:
I agree. I just love this. It shows your perspective on it.
February 11th, 2024 19:47
never ending symphony
Bobby O said:
Had to read it twice to filter out your ambivalence. It’s written with a caring attention and respect for the art but I wonder if it’s a coalescence or a collision ?
February 4th, 2024 17:41
Bobby O said:
Had to read it twice to filter out your ambivalence. It’s written with a caring attention and respect for the art but I wonder if it’s a coalescence or a collision ?
February 4th, 2024 17:41
never ending symphony
Parisab said:
Great elements to include in your “never ending symphony”. Looks like love is center stage and can conduct it all in great balance. Keep writing talented one… I’ld enjoy if you would start a rhyming fusion for us to join…
February 4th, 2024 12:10
Parisab said:
Great elements to include in your “never ending symphony”. Looks like love is center stage and can conduct it all in great balance. Keep writing talented one… I’ld enjoy if you would start a rhyming fusion for us to join…
February 4th, 2024 12:10
my struggles
vividvoid14 said:
IM NOT ON DRUGS NICOTINE I DONT DRINK WHINE I JUST MADE THIS FOR EDUCATIONAL AND LIFE ALTERING REASONS
January 23rd, 2024 23:34
vividvoid14 said:
IM NOT ON DRUGS NICOTINE I DONT DRINK WHINE I JUST MADE THIS FOR EDUCATIONAL AND LIFE ALTERING REASONS
January 23rd, 2024 23:34
Emotional journey
Parisab said:
Keep letting your light shine-your path is a great one-
January 20th, 2024 00:29
Parisab said:
Keep letting your light shine-your path is a great one-
January 20th, 2024 00:29
What a friend is
Cassie58 said:
True friends aren’t easy to find. They are worth their weight in gold. Cherish your friends. Keep them close. Lovely sentiment expressed here.
January 9th, 2024 15:00
Cassie58 said:
True friends aren’t easy to find. They are worth their weight in gold. Cherish your friends. Keep them close. Lovely sentiment expressed here.
January 9th, 2024 15:00
What a friend is
Bella Shepard said:
A true friend is gold, always and forever. Beautiful dear poet!
January 9th, 2024 12:34
Bella Shepard said:
A true friend is gold, always and forever. Beautiful dear poet!
January 9th, 2024 12:34
poem for a mother
Parisab said:
Your mother must be so special to inspire such bright a d beautiful words! This topic never gets old just like her love for you…
January 6th, 2024 22:55
Parisab said:
Your mother must be so special to inspire such bright a d beautiful words! This topic never gets old just like her love for you…
January 6th, 2024 22:55
Suicide letter to my girlfriend
NinjaGirl said:
So sad...she may follow you to be with you...I hope you feel better
January 6th, 2024 22:26
NinjaGirl said:
So sad...she may follow you to be with you...I hope you feel better
January 6th, 2024 22:26
poem for a mother
Bobby O said:
Perfect topic and a heartfelt tribute and you can keep this and keep adding and you can hold 96 pages or more of love in your hands.
January 2nd, 2024 23:42
Bobby O said:
Perfect topic and a heartfelt tribute and you can keep this and keep adding and you can hold 96 pages or more of love in your hands.
January 2nd, 2024 23:42
Suicide
Parisab said:
Sometimes it’s a good exercise to bring out what’s on your mind-good to see you fete, Vivid…
January 1st, 2024 23:38
Parisab said:
Sometimes it’s a good exercise to bring out what’s on your mind-good to see you fete, Vivid…
January 1st, 2024 23:38
Don’t judge a book by its cover
Bobby O said:
Your comment about your poem is wise. You mostly did succeed. I won’t repeat anything about the pronouns since you already admitted you didn’t go back to fix things
December 29th, 2023 18:31
Bobby O said:
Your comment about your poem is wise. You mostly did succeed. I won’t repeat anything about the pronouns since you already admitted you didn’t go back to fix things
December 29th, 2023 18:31
Insecurities of your beauty
Bella Shepard said:
Insecurity does need encouragement to find self worth. Beautifully penned!
November 19th, 2023 13:32
Bella Shepard said:
Insecurity does need encouragement to find self worth. Beautifully penned!
November 19th, 2023 13:32
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