Comments received on poems by vividvoid14
Depressing s
Bobby O said:
This is good. It had “body” and vision and speaks to a great maturity.
October 5th, 2023 01:10
Bobby O said:
This is good. It had “body” and vision and speaks to a great maturity.
October 5th, 2023 01:10
friendly compotision
Bobby O said:
Author author. You need spell check. The tulle of the piece is misspelled
September 24th, 2023 22:30
Bobby O said:
Author author. You need spell check. The tulle of the piece is misspelled
September 24th, 2023 22:30
friendly compotision
vividvoid14 said:
Thanks for the compliments on both sides
September 24th, 2023 22:04
vividvoid14 said:
Thanks for the compliments on both sides
September 24th, 2023 22:04
friendly compotision
Parisab said:
Great job looking for mentorship in an intelligent and culturally sophisticated voice of Bobby O! You’re cool to want to expand your skills in a friendly “competition”
September 24th, 2023 19:27
Parisab said:
Great job looking for mentorship in an intelligent and culturally sophisticated voice of Bobby O! You’re cool to want to expand your skills in a friendly “competition”
September 24th, 2023 19:27
cold heart
Bobby O said:
25 times. Excessive
What’s next , challenging Steph on shooting 3’s?
Abandon all hope all ye that enter here!!
September 24th, 2023 01:04
Bobby O said:
25 times. Excessive
What’s next , challenging Steph on shooting 3’s?
Abandon all hope all ye that enter here!!
September 24th, 2023 01:04
cold heart
Parisab said:
You gots to hit the stage
Already dreamin 24-7
At least you’re not a poser
Already you’re a closer
I’ll be an opener for yo’ show
You’re a genius and I already know
Keep rhyming Vivid and I’ll be a fan…
September 23rd, 2023 20:57
Parisab said:
You gots to hit the stage
Already dreamin 24-7
At least you’re not a poser
Already you’re a closer
I’ll be an opener for yo’ show
You’re a genius and I already know
Keep rhyming Vivid and I’ll be a fan…
September 23rd, 2023 20:57
cold heart
vividvoid14 said:
this is what i ment to post
yeah, yeah, yeah,
i been saying i dont need sleep feels like im already dreaming. everything ive done already saw it in my head
swear its 24-7 that the snakes stay scheaming keep a cold heart ill make friends when im dead
like where were you when i was down bad chilling in the darkness had no one to save me but i did it al reguardless
where were you when i was stuck with all my hardships target on my back so i got to stay heartless
flying privat to island cop a manchine in the hills buying everything i want cuzz i worked for family bout to eat we been crawling out the dirt for it.
i dont care what they been telling me swear imma make it i put that on everything and when i do know my friends are going to carry me. i\'d give up anything
i been saying i dont need sleep feels like im already dreaming. everything ive done already saw it in my head
swear its 24-7 that the snakes stay scheaming keep a cold heart ill make friends when im dead
2023 going exctly how i planed it anxiety been running though my head but i still mange
fighting all my demons till thy drop and it the canvas
you\'ll never understand it
i been doing things you could never even fanisize
i hit the stage then make them come alive
i came along way showing my vision now there seeing
i use to be tearing thought tickets now my life is a move
back in 2016 when i was down in my lunch then i finnaly switch teams and now im brady with the bucks
i got a hand full of rings i could never get enough
i been saying i dont need sleep feels like im already dreaming. everything ive done already saw it in my head
swear its 24-7 that the snakes stay scheaming keep a cold heart ill make friends when im dead
September 23rd, 2023 18:31
vividvoid14 said:
this is what i ment to post
yeah, yeah, yeah,
i been saying i dont need sleep feels like im already dreaming. everything ive done already saw it in my head
swear its 24-7 that the snakes stay scheaming keep a cold heart ill make friends when im dead
like where were you when i was down bad chilling in the darkness had no one to save me but i did it al reguardless
where were you when i was stuck with all my hardships target on my back so i got to stay heartless
flying privat to island cop a manchine in the hills buying everything i want cuzz i worked for family bout to eat we been crawling out the dirt for it.
i dont care what they been telling me swear imma make it i put that on everything and when i do know my friends are going to carry me. i\'d give up anything
i been saying i dont need sleep feels like im already dreaming. everything ive done already saw it in my head
swear its 24-7 that the snakes stay scheaming keep a cold heart ill make friends when im dead
2023 going exctly how i planed it anxiety been running though my head but i still mange
fighting all my demons till thy drop and it the canvas
you\'ll never understand it
i been doing things you could never even fanisize
i hit the stage then make them come alive
i came along way showing my vision now there seeing
i use to be tearing thought tickets now my life is a move
back in 2016 when i was down in my lunch then i finnaly switch teams and now im brady with the bucks
i got a hand full of rings i could never get enough
i been saying i dont need sleep feels like im already dreaming. everything ive done already saw it in my head
swear its 24-7 that the snakes stay scheaming keep a cold heart ill make friends when im dead
September 23rd, 2023 18:31
my ex
Parisab said:
Maybe she is too young and/or not fit for your love! Let your heart’s hurt heal in its own time. Keep writing, Vivid…
September 16th, 2023 17:17
Parisab said:
Maybe she is too young and/or not fit for your love! Let your heart’s hurt heal in its own time. Keep writing, Vivid…
September 16th, 2023 17:17
brothers/sisters
vividvoid14 said:
thank you very much your words are appreciated
September 11th, 2023 18:09
vividvoid14 said:
thank you very much your words are appreciated
September 11th, 2023 18:09
brothers/sisters
AuburnScribbler said:
A brilliant poem about the strength of friendship and guideship of family here vividvoid14, the way I read this, it\'s clear that it\'s most definitely written in the style of a powerful syncopated rap, which I enjoyed very much.
Also, being an older brother myself, I can indeed relate to the content mentioned here.
Bravo, and I hope that all is well.
September 11th, 2023 08:28
AuburnScribbler said:
A brilliant poem about the strength of friendship and guideship of family here vividvoid14, the way I read this, it\'s clear that it\'s most definitely written in the style of a powerful syncopated rap, which I enjoyed very much.
Also, being an older brother myself, I can indeed relate to the content mentioned here.
Bravo, and I hope that all is well.
September 11th, 2023 08:28
change&growth
Bobby O said:
That’s really good. Whoever is helping w your style , please send him my way?
September 8th, 2023 18:45
Bobby O said:
That’s really good. Whoever is helping w your style , please send him my way?
September 8th, 2023 18:45
change&growth
vividvoid14 said:
yes i did mean strings and thank you for your comment glad u enjoyed
September 8th, 2023 14:18
vividvoid14 said:
yes i did mean strings and thank you for your comment glad u enjoyed
September 8th, 2023 14:18
change&growth
Bella Shepard said:
I love \"wind blows over in syllables\" and \"notes hewn in brass and stings\" did you mean strings? Perhaps a little typo. Beautiful analogy throughout.
September 8th, 2023 14:14
Bella Shepard said:
I love \"wind blows over in syllables\" and \"notes hewn in brass and stings\" did you mean strings? Perhaps a little typo. Beautiful analogy throughout.
September 8th, 2023 14:14
heart broken
Bella Shepard said:
You pour out your heart out in this poem, and I feel the intensity of your words leap out at me. You have a remarkable style of your own that is unique, and the talent to use it forcefully. Keep it up my friend, you are going places.
September 7th, 2023 13:36
Bella Shepard said:
You pour out your heart out in this poem, and I feel the intensity of your words leap out at me. You have a remarkable style of your own that is unique, and the talent to use it forcefully. Keep it up my friend, you are going places.
September 7th, 2023 13:36
heart broken
Parisab said:
I am so glad that you write about all kinds of emotions such as pride, joy, and even isolation. Life is a source of inspiration, take your time and look at the whole picture. Hope is your fuel each day. Your poetry at your age (and beyond) is special, poet friend…
September 7th, 2023 10:06
Parisab said:
I am so glad that you write about all kinds of emotions such as pride, joy, and even isolation. Life is a source of inspiration, take your time and look at the whole picture. Hope is your fuel each day. Your poetry at your age (and beyond) is special, poet friend…
September 7th, 2023 10:06
must read
LIZ said:
I have to agree! This is such an emotional, brave piece! Bravo for putting your feelings on display! I wish I could give you the answers you seek, but this is such a personal subject. Never stop learning! Experience will take you there!
September 5th, 2023 15:12
LIZ said:
I have to agree! This is such an emotional, brave piece! Bravo for putting your feelings on display! I wish I could give you the answers you seek, but this is such a personal subject. Never stop learning! Experience will take you there!
September 5th, 2023 15:12
must read
Bella Shepard said:
You are a courageous young man, and I don\'t say that lightly. I was transfixed with every line that I read. I\'m 74 years old, and the world I knew when I was young is light years away from the world you know today. All the turmoil of life that you feel inside comes out very powerfully in this poem. The way you have phrased your thoughts, fears, anger, everything, is real, your words are real and gripping, and that\'s about as intense as you can get. I applaud this incredible poem, I applaud you for the talent you possess. Keep writing dear boy, you possess a rare gift of expression.
September 5th, 2023 13:25
Bella Shepard said:
You are a courageous young man, and I don\'t say that lightly. I was transfixed with every line that I read. I\'m 74 years old, and the world I knew when I was young is light years away from the world you know today. All the turmoil of life that you feel inside comes out very powerfully in this poem. The way you have phrased your thoughts, fears, anger, everything, is real, your words are real and gripping, and that\'s about as intense as you can get. I applaud this incredible poem, I applaud you for the talent you possess. Keep writing dear boy, you possess a rare gift of expression.
September 5th, 2023 13:25
must read
Bobby O said:
That’s a nice piece. I spent ten minutes rephrasing out the “I’s”and it strengthen content and nuance by a lot. Is there a reason you don’t bother w that?for instance
Instead if
Idon\'t know where the poetry begins and reality ends
I have a hard time believing Jesus died for all of our sins“
Questioning where reality ends
And where the subtle poet begins
Disbelief grows, Trading
Cruci”Fiction” for Sins?
It’s nice that you ask what I think but not so nice if you ignore me.
DUDE, you’re gonna be a great writer one day, this is another important thing you probably will choose to ignore. Shorten this piece it’s like thirty lines too long .. rewrite stuff and the TIGHTENS the story lines but instead yiu think maybe I’ll just keep going and let the “I’s” have it?
Your good but your stubborn
September 5th, 2023 11:11
Bobby O said:
That’s a nice piece. I spent ten minutes rephrasing out the “I’s”and it strengthen content and nuance by a lot. Is there a reason you don’t bother w that?for instance
Instead if
Idon\'t know where the poetry begins and reality ends
I have a hard time believing Jesus died for all of our sins“
Questioning where reality ends
And where the subtle poet begins
Disbelief grows, Trading
Cruci”Fiction” for Sins?
It’s nice that you ask what I think but not so nice if you ignore me.
DUDE, you’re gonna be a great writer one day, this is another important thing you probably will choose to ignore. Shorten this piece it’s like thirty lines too long .. rewrite stuff and the TIGHTENS the story lines but instead yiu think maybe I’ll just keep going and let the “I’s” have it?
Your good but your stubborn
September 5th, 2023 11:11
my mom
Parisab said:
What appropriate and beautiful selection of words to honor your mother! I know her love for you is like no other-
September 4th, 2023 17:23
Parisab said:
What appropriate and beautiful selection of words to honor your mother! I know her love for you is like no other-
September 4th, 2023 17:23
my mom
Bobby O said:
Makes me proud to know and associate with a writer brave enough and strong enough to show sensitivity with this type of emotional tribute. Love hard and love with no restraints and build a fortress full on memories that will nourish. She sounds like a great woman.
September 4th, 2023 15:25
Bobby O said:
Makes me proud to know and associate with a writer brave enough and strong enough to show sensitivity with this type of emotional tribute. Love hard and love with no restraints and build a fortress full on memories that will nourish. She sounds like a great woman.
September 4th, 2023 15:25
anxiety
L. B. Mek said:
relatable honesty and impassioned poetry
a wonderful read, thanks for sharing
September 4th, 2023 05:16
L. B. Mek said:
relatable honesty and impassioned poetry
a wonderful read, thanks for sharing
September 4th, 2023 05:16
anxiety
hzugman said:
You have a wonderful way of expressing yourself. To get a little perspective on the content of your poem I suggest reading \"Whast Happened To You\" (https://www.amazon.com/What-Happened-You-Understanding-Resilience/dp/1250223180/ref=asc_df_1250223180/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=509494905560&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=15949563136433855827&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9032088&hvtargid=pla-1069292739316&psc=1).
September 3rd, 2023 19:34
hzugman said:
You have a wonderful way of expressing yourself. To get a little perspective on the content of your poem I suggest reading \"Whast Happened To You\" (https://www.amazon.com/What-Happened-You-Understanding-Resilience/dp/1250223180/ref=asc_df_1250223180/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=509494905560&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=15949563136433855827&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9032088&hvtargid=pla-1069292739316&psc=1).
September 3rd, 2023 19:34
« Return to the profile of vividvoid14
