Comments received on poems by vividvoid14



just another sadness
Bobby O said:

Strategies. With your permission I’d like to dig into points of origin and see if part of the core impetus here that spends that effort painting a certain theme could be set aside so we could examine points of beneficial focus.

March 27th, 2024 20:18

cristal my angel
Bobby O said:

Dude, that’s a good piece. It’s gratifying to the strength in your prose. I’m really happy for you. grasshopper.

March 21st, 2024 06:49

cristal my angel
Bragee said:

Sounds like she is the type of woman everyone needs!

March 19th, 2024 23:32

lost one
Bobby O said:

That’s nice. It’s honest and to an exact point. Nice job

March 13th, 2024 04:05

bad boy
Parisab said:

Looks like this “baddie” has grit like the poem…you are describing the character in an interesting way and there’s so much more to this “bad boy” so it makes one wanting to read on …

March 11th, 2024 19:35

bad boy
Bobby O said:

Nice. Maybe kick that ending up a notch
People see the truth is just a technicality, so why not for me to decide what all should see a shell of conveys true hell lookin like omnipotent baddie

March 9th, 2024 21:50

bad boy
Cassie58 said:

A hard nut exterior with a soft centre, usually comes as a result of past hurts. Building walls to protect against future sharps. How wonderful it is when those walks crumble and you get to know and feel the real personality . Sunny days so much nicer than cloudy ones. Bad boy has a great guy hiding inside. I enjoyed reading you.

March 8th, 2024 23:17

even if I lose my soul
Bobby O said:

Is it more of an admission or an announcement?

March 5th, 2024 19:29

cant block the sun
Cassie58 said:

May you always see the stars on the darkest nights. Depression sucks. I hear you vividvoid14.

March 3rd, 2024 03:07

cant block the sun
Thomas W Case said:

Fantastic

March 2nd, 2024 23:23

cant block the sun
Bobby O said:

I like the writing we gotta get you off the subject matter though cause you said all you can and this way and this subject, let’s just start a couple of women that you’re gonna find in cajole

March 2nd, 2024 22:53

my reality
Parisab said:

His poetry crew see that
His words still jam!

(Maybe the last two lines?)

March 1st, 2024 18:01

my reality
Parisab said:

Glad…Bobby and I got your poetry back …

March 1st, 2024 17:59

my reality
Parisab said:

“this smile to me its just arts and crafts”


Brilliant line, describing faking to look ok, even though it takes hard work and artistry..

Tho the witch ain’t gone
The witchcraft is done
Don’t ya’ll hate masks
Now Vivid is the speed master
Now his magic is to move on
No more harmed or harmin’
His poetry crew see to it
That he knows he’s all that!

He he, see you made me flow too early in the morning, be well and keep writing !

March 1st, 2024 11:55

my reality
Bobby O said:

The witch fits perfect but then you quit applying that magic. For instance this line- now I want you to look at it like it’s a naked girl waiting to be ravaged for fun fun but instead you leave it and do nothing. Now I’m a little peeves. After you read this line, which I’m going to print out in a second no forever never leave a fucking line that way is sitting there waiting for knockout for home run and you just left it like with no effort and you keep doing it I don’t keep telling you you don’t know how to look back at what you wrote and say Ollie I need to fix this now by now you gotta know it you gotta look at this shit you write different you gotta go back and think I gotta fix some stuff and you don’t do that yet you have to do that OK here’s the line

persona
i know im sad even when i smile even when i laugh

March 1st, 2024 00:01

closed door
Cassie58 said:

The upsets in life do make us stronger, though at the time that can be difficult to accept. Keep writing and reading a lot of poetry. That is the best way to learn. I didn’t write my first poem until I was forty. Have s great day.

February 27th, 2024 10:43

closed door
Bobby O said:

I like the content but it’s just statements. Poetry needs to be alive w comparison , draw the reader’s mind to a recognizable image and draw them to it. Like the “tears” lines
Fighting back tears but they broke free slowly then my cheek felt a stampede as my eyes surrendered to my sadness ,

In other words create an image of crying , font Judy say you cried. Yiu should know ski that by now. You’re talking in love with your ideas and forgetting to improve concepts. Sentences are biting. The whole thing needs a to rewritten.

February 27th, 2024 01:14

lovely sight
Parisab said:

Your words light a candle to face the dark. Ignorance is the weapon of evil, so keep writing and be kind to yourself. Side note I like some of the anime work too, except when has hidden clues to encourage self harm or hurting others. Bet if you look closely you’ll see them. Consume it like art, but nothing more, my poetic friend.

February 25th, 2024 11:27

i miss you my dear friend
Cassie58 said:

Your pain was truly felt by this reader. I hope you are able to salvage your friendship with mia and your other friends. Your detailed write was touching.

February 25th, 2024 00:17

fusion poem
Parisab said:

Good job, I’ll join like this:


“Burning the Demon” of fear,
Vivid words win, over pain
Freezing ney saying evil,
he’ll win, be it, sun or rain.




February 16th, 2024 20:13

fusion poem
Parisab said:

Hey Vivid, to start your fusioned poem go to your public profile and stroll down to Start a poem on Fusioned Poem section

February 16th, 2024 18:04

fusion poem
NinjaGirl said:

its not working i want to participate tho so if you figure it out lmk

February 16th, 2024 10:59

till the day i die
Parisab said:

Great symbolism of the beehive to describe dangerously bitter thoughts. Our racing minds can sting and make our life situation sticky. I like this concept and can’t wait to hear about when the honey turns sweet. Keep writing Vivid, but don’t forget to dance, talented one!

February 16th, 2024 01:02

time to die
Bobby O said:

Nice write. I encourage you think about pairing these cathartic writes with another that teaches toward optimism. It’ll help me keep from worrying about my friend ???

February 15th, 2024 19:03

time to die
Thomas W Case said:

Powerful

February 15th, 2024 18:19

till the day i die
David Wakeling said:

This is quite a sad description of the human condition.But hey we all go through it

February 14th, 2024 15:02

i\'m awake
Nubianpoet said:

Keep writing! It’s great therapy.
Thanks 4 sharing with US😉👍🏾

February 13th, 2024 11:01

no longer my dad
Bobby O said:

Wow! I felt that. You really hit me w this one and it’s obvious you’ve listened well Gone is the military pacing , replaced instead by Heartfelt prose
Props

February 12th, 2024 12:55

no longer my dad
Lil said:

I agree. I just love this. It shows your perspective on it.

February 11th, 2024 19:47

never ending symphony
Bobby O said:

Had to read it twice to filter out your ambivalence. It’s written with a caring attention and respect for the art but I wonder if it’s a coalescence or a collision ?

February 4th, 2024 17:41

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