Comments received on poems by Will Hiltz
Another Haiku (Writing process recorded ...)
Will Hiltz said:
I still can\'t see the supposed log of the changes I made as I wrote and re-wrote this poem into its final form, but I don\'t know if that\'s blocked only to the author or if others can see the workings behind the finished product.
So I thought I\'d at least post here the poem that inspired me to create this haiku, a poem I liked, but found - perhaps - a bit overly wordy for my current tastes. The original is below: a four line beauty by Chi Chi (putting apostrophes on this website results in written chaos - there\'s an apostrophe between the h and the i in the first name), 864-937 A.D., titled \"Song of the Spring Wind,\" with the translation from the Chinese by Burton Watson, found in the book, \"The Clouds Should Know Me By Now: Buddhist Poet Monks of China,\" Edited by Red Pine (a.k.a. Bill Porter, an acquaintance whom I have had the good fortune to spend an afternoon with at his home up in Port Townsend, north of me,) and Mike OConnor, Wisdom Publications. A great book!
What does the spring wind have in mind,
coming day and night to these groves and gardens?
It never asks who owns the peach and damson trees
but blows away their crimson without a word.
So - that\'s my starting-off point, and the haiku formed over several hours.
Hope that helps.
WH
March 30th, 2017 20:25
Will Hiltz said:
I still can\'t see the supposed log of the changes I made as I wrote and re-wrote this poem into its final form, but I don\'t know if that\'s blocked only to the author or if others can see the workings behind the finished product.
So I thought I\'d at least post here the poem that inspired me to create this haiku, a poem I liked, but found - perhaps - a bit overly wordy for my current tastes. The original is below: a four line beauty by Chi Chi (putting apostrophes on this website results in written chaos - there\'s an apostrophe between the h and the i in the first name), 864-937 A.D., titled \"Song of the Spring Wind,\" with the translation from the Chinese by Burton Watson, found in the book, \"The Clouds Should Know Me By Now: Buddhist Poet Monks of China,\" Edited by Red Pine (a.k.a. Bill Porter, an acquaintance whom I have had the good fortune to spend an afternoon with at his home up in Port Townsend, north of me,) and Mike OConnor, Wisdom Publications. A great book!
What does the spring wind have in mind,
coming day and night to these groves and gardens?
It never asks who owns the peach and damson trees
but blows away their crimson without a word.
So - that\'s my starting-off point, and the haiku formed over several hours.
Hope that helps.
WH
March 30th, 2017 20:25
Another Haiku (Writing process recorded ...)
BRIAN & ANGELA said:
Thanks WILL ~ love classical HAIKU which (unlike TANKAS 57577) are always open ended and leave you wanting more ! My answer to that is \"Use your imagination and complete the TANKA\" In this case i would add (7~7) \"Divesting them of blossom\" ~ \"Leaving them just like scarecrows !\" Thanks for sharing ~ BRIAN Please check mypoems ~ Thanks B
March 30th, 2017 17:58
BRIAN & ANGELA said:
Thanks WILL ~ love classical HAIKU which (unlike TANKAS 57577) are always open ended and leave you wanting more ! My answer to that is \"Use your imagination and complete the TANKA\" In this case i would add (7~7) \"Divesting them of blossom\" ~ \"Leaving them just like scarecrows !\" Thanks for sharing ~ BRIAN Please check mypoems ~ Thanks B
March 30th, 2017 17:58
At Ryoanji
Michael Edwards said:
Beautiful little piece - I do enjoy this form which can be quite as difficult to write as a longer poem
March 16th, 2017 00:31
Michael Edwards said:
Beautiful little piece - I do enjoy this form which can be quite as difficult to write as a longer poem
March 16th, 2017 00:31
Driving Rains and a Radio
willyweed said:
this one sweep me away very nice work!
March 15th, 2017 09:18
willyweed said:
this one sweep me away very nice work!
March 15th, 2017 09:18
Driving Rains and a Radio
Goldfinch60 said:
Very good write. I belong to a poetry group which meets once a month and this very much reminds my of the style that one of the poets in the group writes.
March 15th, 2017 02:36
Goldfinch60 said:
Very good write. I belong to a poetry group which meets once a month and this very much reminds my of the style that one of the poets in the group writes.
March 15th, 2017 02:36
For Elizabeth
MendedFences27 said:
As time passes memories become jumbled together. If clouded by fears, tears, longing, and insomnia they can become hideous dreams. I loved how you presented this recollection or recollections ( it\'s sometimes difficult to sort it all out) . It flows from trucks and dust to road noise or lack of , and insomnia, with scrambled remembrances in between. Loved it. - Phil A.
p.s. Where the hell is Barstow?
March 1st, 2017 21:12
MendedFences27 said:
As time passes memories become jumbled together. If clouded by fears, tears, longing, and insomnia they can become hideous dreams. I loved how you presented this recollection or recollections ( it\'s sometimes difficult to sort it all out) . It flows from trucks and dust to road noise or lack of , and insomnia, with scrambled remembrances in between. Loved it. - Phil A.
p.s. Where the hell is Barstow?
March 1st, 2017 21:12
For Elizabeth
willyweed said:
you may have another fan, my mothers name was/is Elisabeth! and she like this poem was wonderful to me. Thank you WW
March 1st, 2017 05:29
willyweed said:
you may have another fan, my mothers name was/is Elisabeth! and she like this poem was wonderful to me. Thank you WW
March 1st, 2017 05:29
For Elizabeth
Michael Edwards said:
Oooh -I feel it - love the construction of this Will
March 1st, 2017 02:11
Michael Edwards said:
Oooh -I feel it - love the construction of this Will
March 1st, 2017 02:11
Leaving Nashville
MendedFences27 said:
I believe you\'ve captured the essence of country music in your piece. Can I get an \"Amen?\" - Phil A.
February 28th, 2017 12:56
MendedFences27 said:
I believe you\'ve captured the essence of country music in your piece. Can I get an \"Amen?\" - Phil A.
February 28th, 2017 12:56
Leaving Nashville
Tony36 said:
Wonderfully written tribute to some of country\'s greatest artists
February 28th, 2017 09:07
Tony36 said:
Wonderfully written tribute to some of country\'s greatest artists
February 28th, 2017 09:07
Leaving Nashville
willyweed said:
what a shit kicking hi falutin\' shebang you wrote here a boot scootin\' wonderful wonder dagnabit! ww I loved it!
February 28th, 2017 06:20
willyweed said:
what a shit kicking hi falutin\' shebang you wrote here a boot scootin\' wonderful wonder dagnabit! ww I loved it!
February 28th, 2017 06:20
Leaving Nashville
Goldfinch60 said:
Very good write, surely Cash must still be with you.
February 28th, 2017 02:22
Goldfinch60 said:
Very good write, surely Cash must still be with you.
February 28th, 2017 02:22
John Robinson - Late Roommate
Will Hiltz said:
I agree entirely Goldfinch60! Lots going on here, and rather quirky/cryptic navigation and access to all it holds, I find. At any rate, thanks for all your comments.
Will
February 27th, 2017 17:22
Will Hiltz said:
I agree entirely Goldfinch60! Lots going on here, and rather quirky/cryptic navigation and access to all it holds, I find. At any rate, thanks for all your comments.
Will
February 27th, 2017 17:22
Christmas Morning, 1974
willyweed said:
yes I agree and now I have a hang over enjoyable read! ww
February 27th, 2017 02:06
willyweed said:
yes I agree and now I have a hang over enjoyable read! ww
February 27th, 2017 02:06
Christmas Morning, 1974
Michael Edwards said:
And enjoy I did - great write
February 27th, 2017 01:09
Michael Edwards said:
And enjoy I did - great write
February 27th, 2017 01:09
A Haiku
BRIAN & ANGELA said:
Thanks for sharing WILL ~ Love HAIKU ~ so few words ~ so much meaning ~ I could scent the leaves ! Please check my poems ~ BRIAN (UK)
February 25th, 2017 17:26
BRIAN & ANGELA said:
Thanks for sharing WILL ~ Love HAIKU ~ so few words ~ so much meaning ~ I could scent the leaves ! Please check my poems ~ BRIAN (UK)
February 25th, 2017 17:26
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