Where Our Forever Starts
LaRose said:

Thank you very much. I do so appreciate it when others like my words.
Thank you

August 22nd, 2016 04:31

Memories Imagined
LaRose said:

Brian,
You are most welcome.
I am a lucky man to not only have words to write but a wonderfull lady for inspiration.
Thank you
LaRose


August 11th, 2016 04:10

What Do You See
LaRose said:

Thanks Lysistrata, caught me!

August 10th, 2016 11:18

What Do You See
lysistrata said:

Even though I don't see You, I like what I read...🏆


August 10th, 2016 09:53

What Do You See
rrodriguez said:

Beautiful poem and well written.

August 9th, 2016 22:19

Reaching
lysistrata said:

I also read some of your previous poems/lyrics and you are a fine,fine craftsman.
You seem to understand Human affairs as well as Engineering affairs !?😉

June 9th, 2016 09:54

You and Me, LA Rose X 2
BRIAN & ANGELA said:

Thanks for sharing ROSE. We are what we have been and we will be what we are now - very profound. Now abides these three three Faith - Hope - Love but the greatest of these is LOVE ! BRAIN

April 2nd, 2016 06:18

I Think of You
pseudo_rose said:

This poem touched my heart. I feel as though you have taken a page out of my life.

April 1st, 2016 18:58

I Think of You
Lady K said:

I love this so much!


April 1st, 2016 03:37

I Think of You
Severus Alexander said:



This is.. Beautiful.

The best poets write from the heart...

March 31st, 2016 18:44

To Share My Heart
Severus Alexander said:

Very heartfelt. Love it. : )


March 30th, 2016 16:27

The Love We Share
Severus Alexander said:

This really, really good!

You've managed to imbue it with a crazy amount of texture; very vivid, almost alive.

I think it probably portrays the event you had in mind very well, and in that sense I'd almost hesitate to interfere, because this poem has already met my only real requirement, (to speak from the heart) however, I must also acknowledge that the best poets are perfectionists, so please don't consider my 'criticism' to be anything other than a helpful suggestion;

When you're going for texture, you don't really need a reliable meter, but when you use irregular patterns within a rhyme scheme it tends to throw things off, so you're almost always better off with a meter that you can trust.

You have a rhyme scheme of..

A-X-B-X

This is good, because it already incorporates an alternating pattern of non-rhyming lines.

However, I would (and this is just me, so feel free to completely ignore it; this is your poetry, and I respect your method a great deal) throw in a single line of dissonance in the middle, and then indent above and below it.

It would stand out, and add a considerable amount of emphasis.

However, I can see that you've gone with a heavily textured, almost deliciously smooth approach, creating a single cascade of incredible emotions and descriptive imaging, so it might not be the best idea to interrupt it with an emphasized dissonance.

All things considered, your style is really good; the only concrete advice that I can give you at this point would be to find a reliable meter that you like, and that fits with the length and feel of your poems, to add to the fluidity of your style.

(which is already quite impressive, if I do say so myself.)


March 28th, 2016 08:43

The Love We Share
LaRose said:

I hope this one has few poem faux pas😈

March 27th, 2016 06:39

heart please do not cry
LaRose said:

Thanks i would like to take credit, but she caused it, i just wrote it

March 26th, 2016 08:52

How I Feel About You
LaRose said:

Thank you all

March 25th, 2016 11:46