Comments received on poems by Quemis
I Only Ever Dream about Sex, Heartbreak, and Abandoned Buildings
L. B. Mek said:
\'Inserting of a whisper
Diversion of a spat
An extra dose of gratitude on each step down the path
May chance make a different man
Less fear,
and pray,
Less wrath\'..
Amen...!
(thank you for inspiring my tirade below, I\'m really sorry dear poet
your words hit home and my keyboard: just exploded)..
aren\'t, we all mere imitations of toy-soldier, boys: at play, at this point...
generations of male\'s who, pointedly refuse! that passage
into stoicism\'s Arctic manhood, where awaits - naught
but our ironical self-betrayal
of innate warmth and whimsical independence;
while media\'s \'woke\'ness, dictates we\'re just broken-record whining
environmentally nurtured sorry-excuses of stunted-pulse - dissociation
with our reality,
demeaned into realm\'s of irrelevance
because those same genetic traits that helped \'protect\'
the weak within humanity, in our evolutionary path
to realising our current - civilised, status
are suddenly, no longer needed, no time given to adjust
just used as figureheads for that convenience of \'assumed blame\'...
since muscled fists are now conveniently replaced
by \'light trigger\' purse sized, handguns..
and the sweat, blood and sacrifice of millions of history\'s soldiers
are now replicated
by a click, of a big red button raining, nuclear warheads
with indifference\'s zeal for blood thirsting nihilistic, self annihilation
without need of after-story consequences
of shell shocked, combat Earned, PTSD\'s: suffering
tainting our society\'s, oh so Vogue aesthetics...
and the worst part, the Depressingly crippling Truth
is that we did it all to ourselves
by ignoring the unique feminine wisdom of womanhood\'s, irreplaceable
Nature tethered, spirituality traits for balancing-out
our chauvinistic, adrenaline junky high chasing, escape
from all that sensuality, love, humility and empathy
our forefather\'s tragically deemed: so unnecessary...
May 13th, 2021 06:20
L. B. Mek said:
\'Inserting of a whisper
Diversion of a spat
An extra dose of gratitude on each step down the path
May chance make a different man
Less fear,
and pray,
Less wrath\'..
Amen...!
(thank you for inspiring my tirade below, I\'m really sorry dear poet
your words hit home and my keyboard: just exploded)..
aren\'t, we all mere imitations of toy-soldier, boys: at play, at this point...
generations of male\'s who, pointedly refuse! that passage
into stoicism\'s Arctic manhood, where awaits - naught
but our ironical self-betrayal
of innate warmth and whimsical independence;
while media\'s \'woke\'ness, dictates we\'re just broken-record whining
environmentally nurtured sorry-excuses of stunted-pulse - dissociation
with our reality,
demeaned into realm\'s of irrelevance
because those same genetic traits that helped \'protect\'
the weak within humanity, in our evolutionary path
to realising our current - civilised, status
are suddenly, no longer needed, no time given to adjust
just used as figureheads for that convenience of \'assumed blame\'...
since muscled fists are now conveniently replaced
by \'light trigger\' purse sized, handguns..
and the sweat, blood and sacrifice of millions of history\'s soldiers
are now replicated
by a click, of a big red button raining, nuclear warheads
with indifference\'s zeal for blood thirsting nihilistic, self annihilation
without need of after-story consequences
of shell shocked, combat Earned, PTSD\'s: suffering
tainting our society\'s, oh so Vogue aesthetics...
and the worst part, the Depressingly crippling Truth
is that we did it all to ourselves
by ignoring the unique feminine wisdom of womanhood\'s, irreplaceable
Nature tethered, spirituality traits for balancing-out
our chauvinistic, adrenaline junky high chasing, escape
from all that sensuality, love, humility and empathy
our forefather\'s tragically deemed: so unnecessary...
May 13th, 2021 06:20
Verum est Fatum
🐤s.zaynab.kamoonpuri🌷🐦😽 said:
Wow a classic style superb poem that i admired today. The automaton stanza was my fav but the rest was great as well. Kudos!
Plz do read and comment my newest poem too.
May 8th, 2021 03:21
🐤s.zaynab.kamoonpuri🌷🐦😽 said:
Wow a classic style superb poem that i admired today. The automaton stanza was my fav but the rest was great as well. Kudos!
Plz do read and comment my newest poem too.
May 8th, 2021 03:21
Verum est Fatum
L. B. Mek said:
beautiful title: be true to thy self in the face of fate?
(I\'m sorry if my ignorance meant I misinterpreted your message)..
\'Such arrogant causality.
How oppressive the chain.
What caustic linearity
Could let a love sustain?\'
a great stanza!
such a brilliant write, thank you for sharing dear poet
April 12th, 2021 06:14
L. B. Mek said:
beautiful title: be true to thy self in the face of fate?
(I\'m sorry if my ignorance meant I misinterpreted your message)..
\'Such arrogant causality.
How oppressive the chain.
What caustic linearity
Could let a love sustain?\'
a great stanza!
such a brilliant write, thank you for sharing dear poet
April 12th, 2021 06:14
Verum est Fatum
Doggerel Dave said:
I\'ll vote with orch.... While you are there, if you are going to be, you might like to add \'Quemis\' to your explanation.
April 12th, 2021 02:20
Doggerel Dave said:
I\'ll vote with orch.... While you are there, if you are going to be, you might like to add \'Quemis\' to your explanation.
April 12th, 2021 02:20
Verum est Fatum
orchidee said:
Bit of French there? Verum.....?
I\'m bit un-cultured. Erm, I never did study languages much! heehee.
April 12th, 2021 01:58
orchidee said:
Bit of French there? Verum.....?
I\'m bit un-cultured. Erm, I never did study languages much! heehee.
April 12th, 2021 01:58
Long Winter
rrodriguez said:
I liked your images of yearning for Spring. Nicely done!
March 17th, 2021 12:51
rrodriguez said:
I liked your images of yearning for Spring. Nicely done!
March 17th, 2021 12:51
I Spend a Lot of Time with People that Don\'t Exist
jarcher54 said:
By the way, this is the most wonderful title to a poem on this site!
March 7th, 2021 00:59
jarcher54 said:
By the way, this is the most wonderful title to a poem on this site!
March 7th, 2021 00:59
I Spend a Lot of Time with People that Don\'t Exist
jarcher54 said:
I think your Author\'s Comment caused the most consternation here... your craft is so tight I assume you understand the feelings you relate but are not so much experiencing them as reproducing them, exploring them, reifying them in art. But your side comment made me almost look up someone in your area to go take away your rope!
March 7th, 2021 00:58
jarcher54 said:
I think your Author\'s Comment caused the most consternation here... your craft is so tight I assume you understand the feelings you relate but are not so much experiencing them as reproducing them, exploring them, reifying them in art. But your side comment made me almost look up someone in your area to go take away your rope!
March 7th, 2021 00:58
Long Winter
jarcher54 said:
Sweet little study of the anticipation of spring. I call her Persephone!
March 7th, 2021 00:52
jarcher54 said:
Sweet little study of the anticipation of spring. I call her Persephone!
March 7th, 2021 00:52
Two Sided Sphere
L. B. Mek said:
indeed, that coin toss of fate
that dictates so much
and still, we find a way
to prevail...
a good read,
thanks for sharing dear Poet
February 5th, 2021 05:46
L. B. Mek said:
indeed, that coin toss of fate
that dictates so much
and still, we find a way
to prevail...
a good read,
thanks for sharing dear Poet
February 5th, 2021 05:46
A Song About a Song
RDS said:
Quemis this is beautiful thank you for such a well thought and flowing meaning. A metaphor of change wrapped neatly in verse and self reflection.
J
December 3rd, 2020 20:26
RDS said:
Quemis this is beautiful thank you for such a well thought and flowing meaning. A metaphor of change wrapped neatly in verse and self reflection.
J
December 3rd, 2020 20:26
A Song About a Song
L. B. Mek said:
good write, like the way you weaved the same theme from start to finish, reinforcing your similes/metaphors with relatable imagery
December 3rd, 2020 03:10
L. B. Mek said:
good write, like the way you weaved the same theme from start to finish, reinforcing your similes/metaphors with relatable imagery
December 3rd, 2020 03:10
Time is a Marriage
RDS said:
I really like the flow and rhythm in the rhyme of this.
Light disguised as pain seems a vivid torment for a poet to endure.
J
November 29th, 2020 06:58
RDS said:
I really like the flow and rhythm in the rhyme of this.
Light disguised as pain seems a vivid torment for a poet to endure.
J
November 29th, 2020 06:58
I Spend a Lot of Time with People that Don\'t Exist
Doggerel Dave said:
Post Script:
Ring a \'Help\' line if you feel you have noone you can confide in personally
Take care, Dave
November 20th, 2020 23:17
Doggerel Dave said:
Post Script:
Ring a \'Help\' line if you feel you have noone you can confide in personally
Take care, Dave
November 20th, 2020 23:17
I Spend a Lot of Time with People that Don\'t Exist
Doggerel Dave said:
IF this is a piece of poetry, well crafted, which generalises a position many experience, then well said...
IF, however, this is an honest description of a state you are experiencing right now then take Clara\'s advice seriously - however difficult or impossible this might appear.
Take extremely good care of yourself, Dave
November 20th, 2020 18:12
Doggerel Dave said:
IF this is a piece of poetry, well crafted, which generalises a position many experience, then well said...
IF, however, this is an honest description of a state you are experiencing right now then take Clara\'s advice seriously - however difficult or impossible this might appear.
Take extremely good care of yourself, Dave
November 20th, 2020 18:12
I Spend a Lot of Time with People that Don\'t Exist
Clara said:
Your comment... Please don\'t. Reach out to someone. You\'re not as alone as you feel...
November 20th, 2020 17:11
Clara said:
Your comment... Please don\'t. Reach out to someone. You\'re not as alone as you feel...
November 20th, 2020 17:11
No Pain No Gain
L. B. Mek said:
no \'P\' words were harmed in the formulation of this write, lol
good read
October 30th, 2020 04:15
L. B. Mek said:
no \'P\' words were harmed in the formulation of this write, lol
good read
October 30th, 2020 04:15
No Pain No Gain
jarcher54 said:
A good old Anglo-Saxon alliterative rune, fit to be carved on a mossy sarsen half-buried in the back country to be discovered and pondered over some day by amateur archeologists from a local college or by a lot of lost girl scouts on a walkabout. I can\'t decide if the idea drives the words, or the words create ideas here, but you fit the words together like stones on a drystane wall.
October 30th, 2020 01:45
jarcher54 said:
A good old Anglo-Saxon alliterative rune, fit to be carved on a mossy sarsen half-buried in the back country to be discovered and pondered over some day by amateur archeologists from a local college or by a lot of lost girl scouts on a walkabout. I can\'t decide if the idea drives the words, or the words create ideas here, but you fit the words together like stones on a drystane wall.
October 30th, 2020 01:45
Comatose
jarcher54 said:
Loss is the only promise made, well stated. Quite a litany of memorable, frightful images. The more I reread this one the more I like it. I might add that it has an almost playful silliness just below the surface, like that choir of specters chanting foggy songs... Happy All Souls\' Day I guess, or as we call it down here in South Texas, El Dia de los Muertos.
October 30th, 2020 01:39
jarcher54 said:
Loss is the only promise made, well stated. Quite a litany of memorable, frightful images. The more I reread this one the more I like it. I might add that it has an almost playful silliness just below the surface, like that choir of specters chanting foggy songs... Happy All Souls\' Day I guess, or as we call it down here in South Texas, El Dia de los Muertos.
October 30th, 2020 01:39
Each Way Endlessly
Quemis said:
Thank you. Was pretty drunk and depressed last night when i wrote this. I feel stupid, but it came out ok.
Thanks.
October 1st, 2020 09:45
Quemis said:
Thank you. Was pretty drunk and depressed last night when i wrote this. I feel stupid, but it came out ok.
Thanks.
October 1st, 2020 09:45
Each Way Endlessly
L. B. Mek said:
liked the poetic elements and flow but this got real dark - real quick, took me by surprise,
a quirky write with lots of character and although a little bleak - intriguingly insightful
October 1st, 2020 03:10
L. B. Mek said:
liked the poetic elements and flow but this got real dark - real quick, took me by surprise,
a quirky write with lots of character and although a little bleak - intriguingly insightful
October 1st, 2020 03:10
I, an Algorithm
jarcher54 said:
This piece is extremely moving from both an intellectual and an aesthetic perspective. Your first couplet is all too familiar to those like me who consider themselves rational and agnostic, yet are sensitive and whatever you call spiritual without belief in a divinity. So succinctly stated:
The stars above are godless
yet I\'ve a master still
The sound, the rhythm, the density of ideas, the clarity, the deceptively apparent simplicity of the words and phrases, remind me of the best of Emily Dickinson. Moving and well-done.
September 25th, 2020 00:00
jarcher54 said:
This piece is extremely moving from both an intellectual and an aesthetic perspective. Your first couplet is all too familiar to those like me who consider themselves rational and agnostic, yet are sensitive and whatever you call spiritual without belief in a divinity. So succinctly stated:
The stars above are godless
yet I\'ve a master still
The sound, the rhythm, the density of ideas, the clarity, the deceptively apparent simplicity of the words and phrases, remind me of the best of Emily Dickinson. Moving and well-done.
September 25th, 2020 00:00
I don\'t know.
L. B. Mek said:
wonderfully intertwined metaphors, I like its stubborn unwillingness to give-in to a melodic rhythm, instead choosing to prioritise stanza\'s shaped by the emotions of the words they contain,
good write
September 24th, 2020 04:03
L. B. Mek said:
wonderfully intertwined metaphors, I like its stubborn unwillingness to give-in to a melodic rhythm, instead choosing to prioritise stanza\'s shaped by the emotions of the words they contain,
good write
September 24th, 2020 04:03
Dissolve Me
jarcher54 said:
Typically dense, I tease the meaning out, no, I wring it out, and though I find myself twisting pretty hard to get it started, the meaning begins to drip, and the more I wring the more it flows. I think I too experience defeat through implication... and it\'s a brave poet who admits not always finding the pitch.
June 30th, 2020 01:59
jarcher54 said:
Typically dense, I tease the meaning out, no, I wring it out, and though I find myself twisting pretty hard to get it started, the meaning begins to drip, and the more I wring the more it flows. I think I too experience defeat through implication... and it\'s a brave poet who admits not always finding the pitch.
June 30th, 2020 01:59
Mount Everest is a Grave
jarcher54 said:
I was fascinated by the title of this poem... can one climb a grave, a spectacular 5-mile high grave? Or is it a really deep hole upside down? Or do we think we are climbing when we are really descending? Then upon reaching the top (was it a climb to get there?)... are we at the bottom?
And the last line:
And you the one who\'s told
Methought... One day we are being, doing, writing, telling, singing... but one slip and we are the past, and if we are lucky we are written about, sung of, and remembered. And if we are too bold, climb too fast, fly too high on our fragile waxen wings, oops, we are preserved as an obituary, a ballad, or--if we fall especially spectacularly--as the subject of a great epic! Maybe that\'s not exactly what you meant, but it\'s what came rushing through my head upon encountering your Mount Everest. Nice images, twists and turns. Interesting sentences, slightly askew but elegantly dense.
June 13th, 2020 02:16
jarcher54 said:
I was fascinated by the title of this poem... can one climb a grave, a spectacular 5-mile high grave? Or is it a really deep hole upside down? Or do we think we are climbing when we are really descending? Then upon reaching the top (was it a climb to get there?)... are we at the bottom?
And the last line:
And you the one who\'s told
Methought... One day we are being, doing, writing, telling, singing... but one slip and we are the past, and if we are lucky we are written about, sung of, and remembered. And if we are too bold, climb too fast, fly too high on our fragile waxen wings, oops, we are preserved as an obituary, a ballad, or--if we fall especially spectacularly--as the subject of a great epic! Maybe that\'s not exactly what you meant, but it\'s what came rushing through my head upon encountering your Mount Everest. Nice images, twists and turns. Interesting sentences, slightly askew but elegantly dense.
June 13th, 2020 02:16
The Dark Dome
jarcher54 said:
This makes me look forward to reading more of your poems. I appreciate the density of your lines, the juxtaposed symbols, the relentless crashing of new elements creating a feeling more than an idea. But mostly I enjoy the sound. What you write works best for me read aloud. What you are saying is elusive, but it pleases and intrigues just to hear.
June 3rd, 2020 02:42
jarcher54 said:
This makes me look forward to reading more of your poems. I appreciate the density of your lines, the juxtaposed symbols, the relentless crashing of new elements creating a feeling more than an idea. But mostly I enjoy the sound. What you write works best for me read aloud. What you are saying is elusive, but it pleases and intrigues just to hear.
June 3rd, 2020 02:42
Star-light Surgery
Quemis said:
Thanks everyone!
Can\'t say too much about it myself...
Wrote it blind drunk last night.
March 12th, 2020 18:08
Quemis said:
Thanks everyone!
Can\'t say too much about it myself...
Wrote it blind drunk last night.
March 12th, 2020 18:08
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