Comments received on poems by A Boy With Roses
Boy Next Door
L. B. Mek said:
in any writing course for the chapter \'show, not tell\': they should have this write as a perfect example of its definition,
imagery upon metaphor: galore
October 29th, 2020 04:08
L. B. Mek said:
in any writing course for the chapter \'show, not tell\': they should have this write as a perfect example of its definition,
imagery upon metaphor: galore
October 29th, 2020 04:08
Chrysalis
jarcher54 said:
I noticed the silence. This is a fine return to action! Isn\'t making a fool of yourself what confessional poetry is all about? You always create memorable lines and images... I touch myself to feel something... that is profound.
October 20th, 2020 00:10
jarcher54 said:
I noticed the silence. This is a fine return to action! Isn\'t making a fool of yourself what confessional poetry is all about? You always create memorable lines and images... I touch myself to feel something... that is profound.
October 20th, 2020 00:10
Perfect Victim
Neville said:
once started, I could not stop until the end ...
a compelling tale told well.. I hope this is a reflection of your vivid writers imagination rather than autobiographical....
September 27th, 2020 03:07
Neville said:
once started, I could not stop until the end ...
a compelling tale told well.. I hope this is a reflection of your vivid writers imagination rather than autobiographical....
September 27th, 2020 03:07
Perfect Victim
jarcher54 said:
Dearest X-man, I\'m stunned by the self-awareness of this little autobiography of the mind. From before your birth to your 22nd year, in a few dozen lines. The line I was never innocent is brilliant, but of course it\'s not true. You are still awfully innocent, and I suspect you know you are. I always feel honored to be let into your thoughts rendered so intensely into free/unfree verse.
September 16th, 2020 01:08
jarcher54 said:
Dearest X-man, I\'m stunned by the self-awareness of this little autobiography of the mind. From before your birth to your 22nd year, in a few dozen lines. The line I was never innocent is brilliant, but of course it\'s not true. You are still awfully innocent, and I suspect you know you are. I always feel honored to be let into your thoughts rendered so intensely into free/unfree verse.
September 16th, 2020 01:08
Virus
dusk arising said:
Poetry from the unwell soul can be from a previously untapped mindset. I\'m feeling you\'ve tapped into one here and bravely let it flow into words for us to read.
It\'s quite magnificent and is a MUST for my favourites.
Assuming you wrote this from your sick bed. Give overcoming your illness every ounce of positivity you have. My thoughts are with you in this.
September 5th, 2020 12:46
dusk arising said:
Poetry from the unwell soul can be from a previously untapped mindset. I\'m feeling you\'ve tapped into one here and bravely let it flow into words for us to read.
It\'s quite magnificent and is a MUST for my favourites.
Assuming you wrote this from your sick bed. Give overcoming your illness every ounce of positivity you have. My thoughts are with you in this.
September 5th, 2020 12:46
Darkspell
Goddess of the Mist said:
This is wonderful and darkly descriptive.
August 28th, 2020 23:23
Goddess of the Mist said:
This is wonderful and darkly descriptive.
August 28th, 2020 23:23
Faceless Narcissist
jarcher54 said:
You\'ve done a nice job of describing those complex, perplexing emotion-thoughts that are--must be--what those with a religious belief experience. Working out one\'s own synthesis of all the overwhelming data... pain, loss, hope, success, fear, the big shadows like death, the small things like mundane pleasures and chores, that \"nocturnal philosophy\" that fills one\'s head late at night, staring at the ceiling in bed or wandering the deserted streets. Growing wisdom is what we hope we are experiencing, but you nailed it with \"symbiotically unhappy like an addict.\" Your thoughts are your deepest pleasure, yet they are your worst habit. I bet I will have trouble sleeping tonight. PS Hope you are recovered from your recent mishap.
August 20th, 2020 20:45
jarcher54 said:
You\'ve done a nice job of describing those complex, perplexing emotion-thoughts that are--must be--what those with a religious belief experience. Working out one\'s own synthesis of all the overwhelming data... pain, loss, hope, success, fear, the big shadows like death, the small things like mundane pleasures and chores, that \"nocturnal philosophy\" that fills one\'s head late at night, staring at the ceiling in bed or wandering the deserted streets. Growing wisdom is what we hope we are experiencing, but you nailed it with \"symbiotically unhappy like an addict.\" Your thoughts are your deepest pleasure, yet they are your worst habit. I bet I will have trouble sleeping tonight. PS Hope you are recovered from your recent mishap.
August 20th, 2020 20:45
Purple
jarcher54 said:
You express paranoia and anxiety and hopelessness so vividly I almost think I need to call social services. It\'s 106 degrees Farentheit (like 41 C) in Texas and little rain for weeks and weeks. Raindrops falling like angels is a transcendent description for which I thank you. Fortunately you express giddiness after all that high anxiety, so my call to the hot line can wait.
August 14th, 2020 20:34
jarcher54 said:
You express paranoia and anxiety and hopelessness so vividly I almost think I need to call social services. It\'s 106 degrees Farentheit (like 41 C) in Texas and little rain for weeks and weeks. Raindrops falling like angels is a transcendent description for which I thank you. Fortunately you express giddiness after all that high anxiety, so my call to the hot line can wait.
August 14th, 2020 20:34
Aloha, Pathfinder
jarcher54 said:
Splendid stream of images and metaphors and juxtapositions and vivid specifics and slightly mysterious but ultimately crystal-clear descriptions. We never heard of a diamond fish or perfume fudge but we pretty much know what you mean. A piercing soliloquy by an intrepid human being who feels everything intensely and keeps looking for answers.
August 5th, 2020 18:07
jarcher54 said:
Splendid stream of images and metaphors and juxtapositions and vivid specifics and slightly mysterious but ultimately crystal-clear descriptions. We never heard of a diamond fish or perfume fudge but we pretty much know what you mean. A piercing soliloquy by an intrepid human being who feels everything intensely and keeps looking for answers.
August 5th, 2020 18:07
Śūnyatā
TWENTY3 said:
You have to be my favourite dark writer on this site. Dark twisted and full of pictures.
July 31st, 2020 07:32
TWENTY3 said:
You have to be my favourite dark writer on this site. Dark twisted and full of pictures.
July 31st, 2020 07:32
Dewdrop
jarcher54 said:
X, Quite a vivid account of your journey that day. From start to finish, so honest, so objective through the subjective worries, fears, unknowns, and invasions. When dealt lemons, make lemonade I guess! From the worst kind of being wide awake--that too-familiar insomnia caused by anticipation and knowing how badly you need sleep--to being awake because its over, because you survived, and because you maybe know a little more about you than you did at the beginning. I know there\'s biography in this art, or maybe it\'s a little art in the biography, but we can sympathize because you made it so compellingly real. I don\'t know exactly what it means, but I am fixated on this line: I am the rear axle of physics. Thanks again...
July 27th, 2020 02:13
jarcher54 said:
X, Quite a vivid account of your journey that day. From start to finish, so honest, so objective through the subjective worries, fears, unknowns, and invasions. When dealt lemons, make lemonade I guess! From the worst kind of being wide awake--that too-familiar insomnia caused by anticipation and knowing how badly you need sleep--to being awake because its over, because you survived, and because you maybe know a little more about you than you did at the beginning. I know there\'s biography in this art, or maybe it\'s a little art in the biography, but we can sympathize because you made it so compellingly real. I don\'t know exactly what it means, but I am fixated on this line: I am the rear axle of physics. Thanks again...
July 27th, 2020 02:13
Dewdrop
dusk arising said:
I\'m not going to pretend i understand this piece other than i can see its a loud distress call.
Quite apart from than, man you sure can write poetry. This is really engaging stuff though i couldn\'t connect with your metaphors here.
July 26th, 2020 16:55
dusk arising said:
I\'m not going to pretend i understand this piece other than i can see its a loud distress call.
Quite apart from than, man you sure can write poetry. This is really engaging stuff though i couldn\'t connect with your metaphors here.
July 26th, 2020 16:55
2252
jarcher54 said:
What\'s going on in our heads can be more debilitating than our physical state, more painful than a wound, more disheartening than an illness, more difficult to overcome than cold, hunger, or unemployment. You nailed it: it\'s those unwanted guests shouting in there.
July 2nd, 2020 23:43
jarcher54 said:
What\'s going on in our heads can be more debilitating than our physical state, more painful than a wound, more disheartening than an illness, more difficult to overcome than cold, hunger, or unemployment. You nailed it: it\'s those unwanted guests shouting in there.
July 2nd, 2020 23:43
Lonely Moment
AwHec8 said:
Good God in His Kingdom Jordan I felt the pain of your poem in my living room. Just Saying
June 7th, 2020 12:11
AwHec8 said:
Good God in His Kingdom Jordan I felt the pain of your poem in my living room. Just Saying
June 7th, 2020 12:11
Never Been In More Pain
Goddess of the Mist said:
This is really powerful and has quite a flow. Even though the subject seems to be frightening, it keeps the reader wanting more. Nice job!
June 1st, 2020 21:42
Goddess of the Mist said:
This is really powerful and has quite a flow. Even though the subject seems to be frightening, it keeps the reader wanting more. Nice job!
June 1st, 2020 21:42
Silkwood
jarcher54 said:
You have a way with striking phrases.
I\'ve died
It was an artistic experiment
My ice cream dreams are melting
I\'m made of magic
I don\'t always understand it all, but that\'s poetry. Your words are intriguing and witty, inventive and and provocative. Thanks for taking the time to share.
May 26th, 2020 22:32
jarcher54 said:
You have a way with striking phrases.
I\'ve died
It was an artistic experiment
My ice cream dreams are melting
I\'m made of magic
I don\'t always understand it all, but that\'s poetry. Your words are intriguing and witty, inventive and and provocative. Thanks for taking the time to share.
May 26th, 2020 22:32
Lucky Wishbone
jarcher54 said:
I know my way around this town
But I don\'t know how to get out
That\'s a sublime union of thought, word, sound, and beauty. It\'s such an elegant expression, it means so much, it needs no explanation, it is universal but personal to you, lovely but dark, painful but liberating, simple yet unfathomable. I will remember those lines...
May 22nd, 2020 00:20
jarcher54 said:
I know my way around this town
But I don\'t know how to get out
That\'s a sublime union of thought, word, sound, and beauty. It\'s such an elegant expression, it means so much, it needs no explanation, it is universal but personal to you, lovely but dark, painful but liberating, simple yet unfathomable. I will remember those lines...
May 22nd, 2020 00:20
Lucky Wishbone
Goldfinch60 said:
May one of those strangers show you the way to get out of that town.
Andy
May 21st, 2020 23:57
Goldfinch60 said:
May one of those strangers show you the way to get out of that town.
Andy
May 21st, 2020 23:57
Afterdark
WildMoonChild said:
I think the repetition of things are coming together at the end there is great, so powerful
May 19th, 2020 22:55
WildMoonChild said:
I think the repetition of things are coming together at the end there is great, so powerful
May 19th, 2020 22:55
Where There Is Empty Space
dusk arising said:
Told like it is! This is a man\'s world if he gets up off his ass and makes it his world.
Temptations call beckons.
(Man\'s/Woman\'s either way)
May 12th, 2020 08:17
dusk arising said:
Told like it is! This is a man\'s world if he gets up off his ass and makes it his world.
Temptations call beckons.
(Man\'s/Woman\'s either way)
May 12th, 2020 08:17
Restless Soul
myself and me said:
Alive, mere as existence. This feeling is such a torment, could tear you apart at any moment. Well penned.
May 5th, 2020 14:55
myself and me said:
Alive, mere as existence. This feeling is such a torment, could tear you apart at any moment. Well penned.
May 5th, 2020 14:55
Pollock VVV
Markthetabor said:
I LOVE THIS!!! You provoked emotion while expressing it yourself.
April 28th, 2020 20:55
Markthetabor said:
I LOVE THIS!!! You provoked emotion while expressing it yourself.
April 28th, 2020 20:55
Seagull Dispute
Goddess of the Mist said:
Darkly interesting...I enjoyed this!
April 19th, 2020 22:12
Goddess of the Mist said:
Darkly interesting...I enjoyed this!
April 19th, 2020 22:12
Ablution
FredPeyer said:
X, I really enjoyed reading this poem. And what, may I ask, is the moon teaching you?
April 16th, 2020 11:49
FredPeyer said:
X, I really enjoyed reading this poem. And what, may I ask, is the moon teaching you?
April 16th, 2020 11:49
A Creative Night
FredPeyer said:
I like this one very much, Jordan. Well written.
March 22nd, 2020 12:48
FredPeyer said:
I like this one very much, Jordan. Well written.
March 22nd, 2020 12:48
Went Swimming and Died
anonymousblue said:
This poem assaulted me with its cornucopia of references and dazzling images. I can\'t make out its precise meaning but there\'s a strong feeling of despair and anxiety arising from what you\'ve written. Good poem.
March 16th, 2020 16:00
anonymousblue said:
This poem assaulted me with its cornucopia of references and dazzling images. I can\'t make out its precise meaning but there\'s a strong feeling of despair and anxiety arising from what you\'ve written. Good poem.
March 16th, 2020 16:00
Future Self
Nemo said:
Well written,👍
Love this line tho
\"stubborn as a bruised ego
Holding a grudge\"
🌹
March 9th, 2020 22:14
Nemo said:
Well written,👍
Love this line tho
\"stubborn as a bruised ego
Holding a grudge\"
🌹
March 9th, 2020 22:14
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