Comments received on poems by Pacifique Niyitanga
Mine
L. B. Mek said:
wonderfully, searching lines
words that tepidly ponder, rather than boldly ascertain
intriguing format, liked the flow effect created
from the words being carried from End to Start,
maybe that\'s the main theme of the poem
(how our endings lead us, to our starts?)
and something that can be excavated
to read a little more relatable,
thanks for sharing, dear poet
July 30th, 2021 04:26
L. B. Mek said:
wonderfully, searching lines
words that tepidly ponder, rather than boldly ascertain
intriguing format, liked the flow effect created
from the words being carried from End to Start,
maybe that\'s the main theme of the poem
(how our endings lead us, to our starts?)
and something that can be excavated
to read a little more relatable,
thanks for sharing, dear poet
July 30th, 2021 04:26
Relax
L. B. Mek said:
really liked the comforting message you tried to convey
while maintaining your ambition
for the technical elements of poetic artistry,
(I think, you won\'t mind me saying
you can still smoothen the flow better - with a few edits
and maybe, see if you can swap that dome/home
from the middle stanza for words that don\'t end with E
that way you\'ll have that uniformed first stanza of E\'s and
last stanza of Y\'s, and you can highlight the turning point
of the poems middle stanza a little clearer, but
these are just my overzealous and somewhat rude, opinions
if you like how the poem is right now, then - its perfect
just as it is, dear poet)
thank you, for choosing to share
July 29th, 2021 03:01
L. B. Mek said:
really liked the comforting message you tried to convey
while maintaining your ambition
for the technical elements of poetic artistry,
(I think, you won\'t mind me saying
you can still smoothen the flow better - with a few edits
and maybe, see if you can swap that dome/home
from the middle stanza for words that don\'t end with E
that way you\'ll have that uniformed first stanza of E\'s and
last stanza of Y\'s, and you can highlight the turning point
of the poems middle stanza a little clearer, but
these are just my overzealous and somewhat rude, opinions
if you like how the poem is right now, then - its perfect
just as it is, dear poet)
thank you, for choosing to share
July 29th, 2021 03:01
Relax
Goldfinch60 said:
In those days we have had to ensure that we do something to keep us sane, many have and have learned mew things in their lives.
Good true words Niyitanga.
Andy
July 29th, 2021 00:01
Goldfinch60 said:
In those days we have had to ensure that we do something to keep us sane, many have and have learned mew things in their lives.
Good true words Niyitanga.
Andy
July 29th, 2021 00:01
Relax
dusk arising said:
Yep, yurn these days of enforced home stay into something positive. A great time to do nothing more than get to know yourself, understand and accept yourself a bit more.
July 28th, 2021 07:34
dusk arising said:
Yep, yurn these days of enforced home stay into something positive. A great time to do nothing more than get to know yourself, understand and accept yourself a bit more.
July 28th, 2021 07:34
Babe And Broke
L. B. Mek said:
indeed, dear poet - we need savings
if we\'re gonna go romance - fishing,
and yet, we find the purest - love
in heart\'s - that can appreciate us
with our pockets, turned inside - out...
( a fun, yet
far too uncomfortably - relatable, a read
thanks for sharing) lol
July 27th, 2021 04:29
L. B. Mek said:
indeed, dear poet - we need savings
if we\'re gonna go romance - fishing,
and yet, we find the purest - love
in heart\'s - that can appreciate us
with our pockets, turned inside - out...
( a fun, yet
far too uncomfortably - relatable, a read
thanks for sharing) lol
July 27th, 2021 04:29
Shed Tears
Doggerel Dave said:
There is a flip side to being the object of someone\'s devotion - it can (not always but sometimes) feel like a responsibility, a heavy weight.
And you have captured that well, NP.
July 24th, 2021 20:19
Doggerel Dave said:
There is a flip side to being the object of someone\'s devotion - it can (not always but sometimes) feel like a responsibility, a heavy weight.
And you have captured that well, NP.
July 24th, 2021 20:19
Fault Gave Me Love
Violet bluebell( used to be yellow rose) said:
Good poem , I liked reading this 🙂🙂 your lucky to be in love
July 22nd, 2021 11:11
Violet bluebell( used to be yellow rose) said:
Good poem , I liked reading this 🙂🙂 your lucky to be in love
July 22nd, 2021 11:11
Fault Gave Me Love
L. B. Mek said:
\'But the punishment I got, is the love I have now
One I cannot define,
Beautiful love, predator I said,
Many in one, only one in my brain,
She\'s second to my very own mom,\'..
liked your stylistic ingenuity
worded - as the epitome: of drunk love!
a refreshing concept, a good read
thanks for sharing dear poet
July 22nd, 2021 03:21
L. B. Mek said:
\'But the punishment I got, is the love I have now
One I cannot define,
Beautiful love, predator I said,
Many in one, only one in my brain,
She\'s second to my very own mom,\'..
liked your stylistic ingenuity
worded - as the epitome: of drunk love!
a refreshing concept, a good read
thanks for sharing dear poet
July 22nd, 2021 03:21
Fault Gave Me Love
Doggerel Dave said:
And again NP, You view \'love\' through a slightly different prism to the usual mushy stuff we sometimes read here. I\'m glad you cannot define your relationship but narrate it in a way which gives it light shade and depth.
July 21st, 2021 23:26
Doggerel Dave said:
And again NP, You view \'love\' through a slightly different prism to the usual mushy stuff we sometimes read here. I\'m glad you cannot define your relationship but narrate it in a way which gives it light shade and depth.
July 21st, 2021 23:26
Anxiety
L. B. Mek said:
an impassioned and honest write, showcasing
your wonderful skill
of flexible dexterity in end-rhyming prowess
thanks for sharing!
(please forgive my rudeness, dear poet
but if I may be so bold as to suggest
if you were to switch your verses around a little
you\'ll find your creative rhyme scheme
morph - into a complete
standardisation of a unique, poetic form
maybe, something like this:
\'This fear from thinking of death-
Can\'t stop me to breath
But this loneliness I feel is my way to suicide,
As long as depression is my strong guide
Ashamed and silent
Maybe this life is for rent
Meditation treats my brain but soul can\'t assent,
Healing level cannot exceed zero percent
Face with red eyes,
One with anger, and it cries,
That one with sorrowful look,
With the evil binded brain like paper in the book
I don\'t know its name
That face in the flame-
Makes me wild but no one to blame
I feel antsy like a moth to the frame
No way to explain my feelings,
But I know what this madness brings
Obviously, I really need medication
But this is not a sickness, maybe it\'s just a trepidation.
I\'m not afraid of this,
Even if it\'s a feeling I cannot miss
Whenever I face it, I lose peace and bliss,
But still it\'s the one I cannot dismiss\')
I truly mean no disrespect by rudely
messing with your artistry, dear poet
its just my overzealous and opinionated nature;
again I sincerely apologise in advance
if you find my actions in anyway disrespectful
July 12th, 2021 05:30
L. B. Mek said:
an impassioned and honest write, showcasing
your wonderful skill
of flexible dexterity in end-rhyming prowess
thanks for sharing!
(please forgive my rudeness, dear poet
but if I may be so bold as to suggest
if you were to switch your verses around a little
you\'ll find your creative rhyme scheme
morph - into a complete
standardisation of a unique, poetic form
maybe, something like this:
\'This fear from thinking of death-
Can\'t stop me to breath
But this loneliness I feel is my way to suicide,
As long as depression is my strong guide
Ashamed and silent
Maybe this life is for rent
Meditation treats my brain but soul can\'t assent,
Healing level cannot exceed zero percent
Face with red eyes,
One with anger, and it cries,
That one with sorrowful look,
With the evil binded brain like paper in the book
I don\'t know its name
That face in the flame-
Makes me wild but no one to blame
I feel antsy like a moth to the frame
No way to explain my feelings,
But I know what this madness brings
Obviously, I really need medication
But this is not a sickness, maybe it\'s just a trepidation.
I\'m not afraid of this,
Even if it\'s a feeling I cannot miss
Whenever I face it, I lose peace and bliss,
But still it\'s the one I cannot dismiss\')
I truly mean no disrespect by rudely
messing with your artistry, dear poet
its just my overzealous and opinionated nature;
again I sincerely apologise in advance
if you find my actions in anyway disrespectful
July 12th, 2021 05:30
Mutesi Fatuma
Goldfinch60 said:
May that love become binding for you both.
Andy
July 12th, 2021 00:43
Goldfinch60 said:
May that love become binding for you both.
Andy
July 12th, 2021 00:43
Sky
L. B. Mek said:
such a ssSlanted
pyramid of truth
you\'ve superimposed
as a supposition of fact,
how wonderfully fun and creative;
guess know its up to us, to read
and dig out your wisdom\'s treasures
from those thwarting, distractions..
thanks for sharing
July 8th, 2021 03:27
L. B. Mek said:
such a ssSlanted
pyramid of truth
you\'ve superimposed
as a supposition of fact,
how wonderfully fun and creative;
guess know its up to us, to read
and dig out your wisdom\'s treasures
from those thwarting, distractions..
thanks for sharing
July 8th, 2021 03:27
Good To Me
iAli said:
A great combination of words...so lovely ❣
Like this writing so much dear poet ❤
July 7th, 2021 09:22
iAli said:
A great combination of words...so lovely ❣
Like this writing so much dear poet ❤
July 7th, 2021 09:22
Good To Me
Doggerel Dave said:
I really enjoyed the way you explored the complexities of your attraction to this woman. You didn’t just call it ‘love’ and then witter on about the feeling, you gave it substance and I liked that very much.
July 4th, 2021 02:07
Doggerel Dave said:
I really enjoyed the way you explored the complexities of your attraction to this woman. You didn’t just call it ‘love’ and then witter on about the feeling, you gave it substance and I liked that very much.
July 4th, 2021 02:07
Unhide
L. B. Mek said:
\'Dear friend, you are not that tough
To fight and win yourself by yourself
The only way to defeat them all,
Just lemme know\'..
you have such a distinctively youthful voice
thank you for sharing your inking journey
just so awesome
to witness an artist\'s growth, with every new post
May 21st, 2021 02:54
L. B. Mek said:
\'Dear friend, you are not that tough
To fight and win yourself by yourself
The only way to defeat them all,
Just lemme know\'..
you have such a distinctively youthful voice
thank you for sharing your inking journey
just so awesome
to witness an artist\'s growth, with every new post
May 21st, 2021 02:54
She Can Leave
L. B. Mek said:
\'One word is not a contract
I cannot provide a fact\'..
That permanence we so wilfully, attach - to \'Love\'
where our purchasing price, is but a contract
formed of a one syllable word
either gifted and reciprocated, or sometimes
however painfully - returned: with packaging intact
deemed unworthy....
wonderfully poetic in creative ambition and polished execution
thanks for sharing, dear Poet
May 17th, 2021 06:23
L. B. Mek said:
\'One word is not a contract
I cannot provide a fact\'..
That permanence we so wilfully, attach - to \'Love\'
where our purchasing price, is but a contract
formed of a one syllable word
either gifted and reciprocated, or sometimes
however painfully - returned: with packaging intact
deemed unworthy....
wonderfully poetic in creative ambition and polished execution
thanks for sharing, dear Poet
May 17th, 2021 06:23
Blossom
L. B. Mek said:
quirky!
a fun quick read
though I was more intrigued
by the structure and form,
different for sure
April 26th, 2021 05:22
L. B. Mek said:
quirky!
a fun quick read
though I was more intrigued
by the structure and form,
different for sure
April 26th, 2021 05:22
Humble
jarcher54 said:
This poem is as humble--and as compelling--as the message it brings. Its simplicity is its quiet strength.
April 10th, 2021 02:26
jarcher54 said:
This poem is as humble--and as compelling--as the message it brings. Its simplicity is its quiet strength.
April 10th, 2021 02:26
Humble
Doggerel Dave said:
I get that, very neatly put, NP. To be unassuming can be a sign of strength.
April 9th, 2021 18:58
Doggerel Dave said:
I get that, very neatly put, NP. To be unassuming can be a sign of strength.
April 9th, 2021 18:58
Dad Kid
Doggerel Dave said:
Neat little story, NP. I would think it is an experience some men and women would find familiar...
Also liked your rhymes and structure.
March 30th, 2021 19:52
Doggerel Dave said:
Neat little story, NP. I would think it is an experience some men and women would find familiar...
Also liked your rhymes and structure.
March 30th, 2021 19:52
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