Comments received on poems by 🐤s.zaynab.kamoonpuri🌷🐦😽
Stop the warmongers and aggressors
Bobby O said:
I might be in the minority with this observation but offering truth is best.
The piece had a point of view based on solid logic provided by declarative phrasing and snd well timed rhythm. Then there is a technique you chose to employ that I don’t understand and I feel it works against the strength of your message and significantly diminishes the power of the poem. There is a school of thought that I’ve come to agree with and it suggests that the use of interrogatories (?question marks) do not add anything worthwhile and in fact can be rewritten is such a way that the technique be completely avoided and the piece is strengthened when all the silly question marks ARE REMOVED. you chose to include 11 of them in my opinion that’s a cutesy style that would serve you well if you skipped it forever.
January 8th, 2024 01:52
Bobby O said:
I might be in the minority with this observation but offering truth is best.
The piece had a point of view based on solid logic provided by declarative phrasing and snd well timed rhythm. Then there is a technique you chose to employ that I don’t understand and I feel it works against the strength of your message and significantly diminishes the power of the poem. There is a school of thought that I’ve come to agree with and it suggests that the use of interrogatories (?question marks) do not add anything worthwhile and in fact can be rewritten is such a way that the technique be completely avoided and the piece is strengthened when all the silly question marks ARE REMOVED. you chose to include 11 of them in my opinion that’s a cutesy style that would serve you well if you skipped it forever.
January 8th, 2024 01:52
Stop the warmongers and aggressors
Doggerel Dave said:
Why when and how indeed.
Your passion, anger and sickness at this and all other war situations comes through clearly. What more can I, totally on your side, add to your words?
January 8th, 2024 01:43
Doggerel Dave said:
Why when and how indeed.
Your passion, anger and sickness at this and all other war situations comes through clearly. What more can I, totally on your side, add to your words?
January 8th, 2024 01:43
Stop the warmongers and aggressors
2781 said:
Not by might, not by power,but by my Spirit saith the Lord.
January 8th, 2024 01:28
2781 said:
Not by might, not by power,but by my Spirit saith the Lord.
January 8th, 2024 01:28
Poetic perfumery
L. B. Mek said:
\'treasuring it to form scented hints of sweet memory\'
Brilliant!
A great write, so well researched
and crafted with genuine enthusiasm and sincerity
a beautiful read..
May I humbly recommend you read
\'The Cinnamon Peeler\' poem
by Michael Ondaatje
so you may see for yourself how favourably your poem compares
to one of the great modern
love poems
(
https://www.lyrikline.org/en/poems/cinnamon-peeler-6570
)
October 6th, 2023 05:17
L. B. Mek said:
\'treasuring it to form scented hints of sweet memory\'
Brilliant!
A great write, so well researched
and crafted with genuine enthusiasm and sincerity
a beautiful read..
May I humbly recommend you read
\'The Cinnamon Peeler\' poem
by Michael Ondaatje
so you may see for yourself how favourably your poem compares
to one of the great modern
love poems
(
https://www.lyrikline.org/en/poems/cinnamon-peeler-6570
)
October 6th, 2023 05:17
Poetic perfumery
jarcher54 said:
These days many people turn their noses up at strong perfumes. I understand, but I am one of those enchanted by a nice fragrance. Maybe you did not mean it exactly, but this is a very sexy poem! When I enter a room or elevator and there\'s no one there but the scent of a nice perfume lingers in the air... it intoxicates me! I cannot help imagining the woman whom I just missed...
October 5th, 2023 19:56
jarcher54 said:
These days many people turn their noses up at strong perfumes. I understand, but I am one of those enchanted by a nice fragrance. Maybe you did not mean it exactly, but this is a very sexy poem! When I enter a room or elevator and there\'s no one there but the scent of a nice perfume lingers in the air... it intoxicates me! I cannot help imagining the woman whom I just missed...
October 5th, 2023 19:56
Poetic perfumery
Petrichor of Love said:
Wondrously written ma\'am. The essence of the fragrance could be sensed very well💕
October 5th, 2023 11:51
Petrichor of Love said:
Wondrously written ma\'am. The essence of the fragrance could be sensed very well💕
October 5th, 2023 11:51
The corona catastrophe
Soman Ragavan said:
My comments on the poem \"The corona catastrophe” by s.zaynab.kamoonpuri
Covid was a worldwide catastrophe of immense magnitude. It even caused people to suspect each other in the house… There were about 6 922 866 deaths; about 668 127 779 recovered. Many people died a horrible death, struggling to breathe. Many died without having been able to write a Will…
Even if you yourself stay at home, you can’t compel others at home to do so : they will go out and bring Covid to you…. On Covid, see my poems “Advance leave, advancing death” and “Jabbing Shakespeare” on this site. Soman Ragavan. 5 October, 2023.
https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/
October 5th, 2023 00:23
Soman Ragavan said:
My comments on the poem \"The corona catastrophe” by s.zaynab.kamoonpuri
Covid was a worldwide catastrophe of immense magnitude. It even caused people to suspect each other in the house… There were about 6 922 866 deaths; about 668 127 779 recovered. Many people died a horrible death, struggling to breathe. Many died without having been able to write a Will…
Even if you yourself stay at home, you can’t compel others at home to do so : they will go out and bring Covid to you…. On Covid, see my poems “Advance leave, advancing death” and “Jabbing Shakespeare” on this site. Soman Ragavan. 5 October, 2023.
https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/
October 5th, 2023 00:23
Poetic perfumery
AwHec8 said:
Beautiful 😍 Poem, can smell the fragrance of it in my mind because of your writing. Don
October 4th, 2023 11:26
AwHec8 said:
Beautiful 😍 Poem, can smell the fragrance of it in my mind because of your writing. Don
October 4th, 2023 11:26
Poetic perfumery
Bella Shepard said:
In extolling the virtues of scent you praise, and rightly so, our extraordinary sensory organ of smell. I have long been a fan of various incense, and used to plug in a lavender air freshener next to my bed every night. I have let those habits slip with age, but you\'ve reminded me in this beautiful poem, of what I\'ve been missing and need to find again. Thank you dear poetess, you\'ve reawakened this old nose, now yearning for those wonderful scents.
October 4th, 2023 10:34
Bella Shepard said:
In extolling the virtues of scent you praise, and rightly so, our extraordinary sensory organ of smell. I have long been a fan of various incense, and used to plug in a lavender air freshener next to my bed every night. I have let those habits slip with age, but you\'ve reminded me in this beautiful poem, of what I\'ve been missing and need to find again. Thank you dear poetess, you\'ve reawakened this old nose, now yearning for those wonderful scents.
October 4th, 2023 10:34
Poetic perfumery
orchidee said:
Good write Z. A whiffy write, but not a pongy one! lol.
October 4th, 2023 09:02
orchidee said:
Good write Z. A whiffy write, but not a pongy one! lol.
October 4th, 2023 09:02
Poetic perfumery
hzugman said:
What a pretty picture you paint in this lovely poem
October 4th, 2023 08:51
hzugman said:
What a pretty picture you paint in this lovely poem
October 4th, 2023 08:51
Poetic perfumery
BlessedbyGod said:
This is a very well written piece, and the sense of smell is very important,
My favorite is lavender, and sandlewood as well,
You put a very interesting thought in my head about how everyone\'s poetry is like an aroma,
Each has its own distinctive scent,
And gives us an idea about the poets personality and life,
I truly love this piece, it is a favorite
October 4th, 2023 06:15
BlessedbyGod said:
This is a very well written piece, and the sense of smell is very important,
My favorite is lavender, and sandlewood as well,
You put a very interesting thought in my head about how everyone\'s poetry is like an aroma,
Each has its own distinctive scent,
And gives us an idea about the poets personality and life,
I truly love this piece, it is a favorite
October 4th, 2023 06:15
Bed of roses or thorns
jarcher54 said:
I don\'t agree with your premise but I understand what you feel... I\'m married 50 years and still love my spouse. But I know nothing is simple and one size does not fit all. Calm deep long love is a blessing, but sometimes passion and arguing in the rain at 2 am is just what the soul needs...
September 16th, 2023 01:16
jarcher54 said:
I don\'t agree with your premise but I understand what you feel... I\'m married 50 years and still love my spouse. But I know nothing is simple and one size does not fit all. Calm deep long love is a blessing, but sometimes passion and arguing in the rain at 2 am is just what the soul needs...
September 16th, 2023 01:16
Bed of roses or thorns
poet2rhyme4tommorrow said:
requited love manifests over time when the coda, ethos, fiat, et cetera of marriage, which demands obeisance to contractual obligations as pertains to yours truly (me), whose infidelity rent asunder the obligation to abide by the credo of lifelong commitment to one whose company (the missus) gradually became synchronized with mine.
May 30th, 2023 11:33
poet2rhyme4tommorrow said:
requited love manifests over time when the coda, ethos, fiat, et cetera of marriage, which demands obeisance to contractual obligations as pertains to yours truly (me), whose infidelity rent asunder the obligation to abide by the credo of lifelong commitment to one whose company (the missus) gradually became synchronized with mine.
May 30th, 2023 11:33
Bed of roses or thorns
nephilim56 said:
in simple terms i like it, the poem conveys its meaning clearly and precisely well done
May 30th, 2023 03:17
nephilim56 said:
in simple terms i like it, the poem conveys its meaning clearly and precisely well done
May 30th, 2023 03:17
Bed of roses or thorns
thinkerbell said:
Wonderful poem on love and marriage ...
May 29th, 2023 00:51
thinkerbell said:
Wonderful poem on love and marriage ...
May 29th, 2023 00:51
Squash the hate- hate bug
Firefall said:
I think this is one of my favorite poems that you wrote. It is so important that everyone stomp out hate where you see it and not allow ourselves to get caught up in resentments of others. Very special poem.
May 28th, 2023 15:33
Firefall said:
I think this is one of my favorite poems that you wrote. It is so important that everyone stomp out hate where you see it and not allow ourselves to get caught up in resentments of others. Very special poem.
May 28th, 2023 15:33
Bed of roses or thorns
Goldfinch60 said:
Love is the way to be in this world szk.
Andy
May 27th, 2023 01:16
Goldfinch60 said:
Love is the way to be in this world szk.
Andy
May 27th, 2023 01:16
Bed of roses or thorns
David Wakeling said:
I did find love once but it flew away like a scared parrot.The poem explores the irony of Love.Well done
May 26th, 2023 17:36
David Wakeling said:
I did find love once but it flew away like a scared parrot.The poem explores the irony of Love.Well done
May 26th, 2023 17:36
Bed of roses or thorns
Jeannie said:
I loved your poem very much. My husband & I dated in high school. We graduated and went our ways. 27 yrs later we found each other again. We\'ve been together 12 yrs and married for 2. So far this time, it has been roses. My first marriage was both roses and thorns. So I can relate to your poem extremely well
May 26th, 2023 14:54
Jeannie said:
I loved your poem very much. My husband & I dated in high school. We graduated and went our ways. 27 yrs later we found each other again. We\'ve been together 12 yrs and married for 2. So far this time, it has been roses. My first marriage was both roses and thorns. So I can relate to your poem extremely well
May 26th, 2023 14:54
Bed of roses or thorns
Bella Shepard said:
Dear poet this is such a beautiul take on love everlasting. I can relate to the metaphor of a hose, sprinkling life giving water on the bed of roses. Love, like that bed must be cared for, that weeds may not overtake and prevent it from growing and flourishing. The gardner makes the commitment to always care for his plants, as do husband and wife to each other. Having been married to the same wonderful man for 53 years I can attest the the fact that continualy watering those roses pays off in beautiful blooms year after year. Love this write, it\'s a real fav.
May 26th, 2023 10:51
Bella Shepard said:
Dear poet this is such a beautiul take on love everlasting. I can relate to the metaphor of a hose, sprinkling life giving water on the bed of roses. Love, like that bed must be cared for, that weeds may not overtake and prevent it from growing and flourishing. The gardner makes the commitment to always care for his plants, as do husband and wife to each other. Having been married to the same wonderful man for 53 years I can attest the the fact that continualy watering those roses pays off in beautiful blooms year after year. Love this write, it\'s a real fav.
May 26th, 2023 10:51
Bed of roses or thorns
Bobby O said:
Nice write. Good story. One small thought , that line “sprinkled from the hoses” seems out of place. It’s not a corny poem , it’s got substance. And maybe that line is corny?? Maybe try “is what our fate proposes” or almost anything else is better than sprinkled hoses. Change it. Or not ?
May 26th, 2023 06:43
Bobby O said:
Nice write. Good story. One small thought , that line “sprinkled from the hoses” seems out of place. It’s not a corny poem , it’s got substance. And maybe that line is corny?? Maybe try “is what our fate proposes” or almost anything else is better than sprinkled hoses. Change it. Or not ?
May 26th, 2023 06:43
View from an airplane window
Rocky Lagou said:
This is so marvelously depicted!
Dubai is breathtaking, and your descriptions are, too!
I love the way you described the scenery as \"poetic,\" a word you wouldn\'t usually attribute to something visual, but it\'s so apt in this context.
Thanks for this beautiful poem,
And Happy New Year!
January 9th, 2023 15:24
Rocky Lagou said:
This is so marvelously depicted!
Dubai is breathtaking, and your descriptions are, too!
I love the way you described the scenery as \"poetic,\" a word you wouldn\'t usually attribute to something visual, but it\'s so apt in this context.
Thanks for this beautiful poem,
And Happy New Year!
January 9th, 2023 15:24
View from an airplane window
AwHec8 said:
Sweet, Sweet, Sweet Poem you have there and I absolutely Love It! Ah the beauty of travel, especially when you’re seat has a windows view! Don
January 7th, 2023 11:58
AwHec8 said:
Sweet, Sweet, Sweet Poem you have there and I absolutely Love It! Ah the beauty of travel, especially when you’re seat has a windows view! Don
January 7th, 2023 11:58
Centipede scare
BoxMyHeart said:
Awesomely thoughtful reading yet again!
Have you any poems about your heritage or history? I think they would be interesting.
January 7th, 2023 08:24
BoxMyHeart said:
Awesomely thoughtful reading yet again!
Have you any poems about your heritage or history? I think they would be interesting.
January 7th, 2023 08:24
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