SUMMER BEDDING IS NOT AN OPTION
BRIAN & ANGELA said:

Ohhhhhhhhhhh MICHAEL ~ You are my bestest friend ~ I thought I was the only one penning ODES in Scientific Gobbledegook but you have made my best efforts look like Comic Book Crap ! As with all ZEITGEIST you have left the subject of your excellent poem until the last DOUBLET & HOSE. This is a Problem we have long tackled in my Food Science Laboratory at College. Both a FULL ENGLISH and a CLASSIC MULTI GRAIN BAP are of a predetermined size therefore the obvious solution (To the non~Food Scientist) would be 1. Make the Breakfast smaller or 2. Make the Bap bigger. BUT ~ The laws of Food Science and the EEC ruling 0473267A (Baps & Breakfasts) permit neither of these bleedin\' obvious solutions !. I presented this problem to Harriet Hobnob ~ one of my PhD students ~ and her brilliant solution (after three years hard labour) was STACKING ! She now has a prestigous job (£7 per hour) in McDonald\'s. The reason it took 3 years was first the concept to go VERTICAL (instead of horizontal as on a plate) to accommodate the smaller diameter of the BAP and secondly (and this was the tricky bit !) the order of the deconstructed FULL ENGLISH in the stack and thirdly the stability of the stack from KITCHEN to TABLE. McDonald\'s ~ Burger King ~ KFC ~ Wendy\'s etc have all TRIED & FAILED ! There can be NO COMPROMISE ! The Full English must contain BACON ~ EGG POACHED ~ MUSHROOMS ~ TOMATOES ~ SAUSAGE (suitably shaped for this experiment) and BAKED BEANS \'(and NO HASH BROWNS !). The final order was Toasted Bap ~ Circle of Sausage ~ Egg (cooked to size) ~ Large circular Mushroom ~ Beans (inside mushroom) ~ Large circular slice of Tomato ~ Bacon cut to size ! ~ Toasted Bap The American way would be to \"hard poach\" the Egg and stick a skewer through the lot and serve ! BUT an English poached egg has to be runny (watch FOUR IN A BED) ! So to prevent \"The Collapsing Tower of Full English\" Harriet designed the Rigid Plastic Sleeve (She has received an Edible Nobel Prize for this) which encompassed the stack (and kept it upright) once it was stacked ~ Envisage this and APPLAUD ! Mission accomplished (you can do anything in a LABORATORY !) a FULL ENGLISH (Stable to the Table) on a standard MULTIGRAIN BAP ! BUT (and this is where Harriet earned her PhD & Nobel Prize) HOW DO YOU EAT IT ? Harriet\'s solution was to present the PLASTIC CONTAINED STACK on a HOT PLATE (OMG I\'m reeling with amazement now) with a METAL Knife & Fork condiments and sauces and instructions ! Reconstruct FULL ENGLISH onto plate (see diagram) season to taste and eat with knife & fork like a Gentleman or Lady. NB This is not available at McDonald\'s etc but at WILL an\' KATES DINER in Covent Garden ~ London ~ UK ! Stephen Hawkins has hailed it as the greatest Scientific Achievement of the 21st C ! ~ DOCTOR JOHN !

July 29th, 2017 04:05

SUMMER BEDDING IS NOT AN OPTION
orchidee said:

Yep, I understand this completely! Mind you, I\'ve just had a sherry or three! But know what you mean, e.g. you seen those waste management operatives this week = dustmen?

July 29th, 2017 01:41

SUMMER BEDDING IS NOT AN OPTION
Heather T said:

I definitely smiled, but this mostly made me hungry. And I had a late dinner of breakfast foods.😋

July 29th, 2017 00:17

AND WAVES WILL ALWAYS ROLL
P.H.Rose said:

BRILLIANT Michael
Just brilliant....

July 28th, 2017 17:20

AND WAVES WILL ALWAYS ROLL
Jooles said:

Lovely write....lovely rythm

July 28th, 2017 11:14

AND WAVES WILL ALWAYS ROLL
BRIAN & ANGELA said:

ROLL JORDAN ROLL ~ ROLL JORDAN ROLL ! I love waves in rivers ~ lakes ~ oceans ! I am only 10 miles from the sea ~ so each week I get a chance to enjoy the WAVES breaking on the shore ~ AMEN. Love the Painting & the Poem ~ Please check my TAPESTRY ~ Thanks BRIAN

July 28th, 2017 04:32

AND WAVES WILL ALWAYS ROLL
orchidee said:

Fine write and pic M.

July 28th, 2017 01:41

A FEW BITS AND PIECES
Tony36 said:

Great write

July 27th, 2017 11:58

A FEW BITS AND PIECES
Louis Gibbs said:

I\'m a little slow this morning. Read at first as a single poem it felt di-jointed ... looked in vain for a common thread. Then I took another swig of coffee and saw three neat shorties. Thanks for helping me wake up with a chuckle, Michael!

July 27th, 2017 07:16

A FEW BITS AND PIECES
BRIAN & ANGELA said:

Thanks MICHAEL ~ Love the cartoon I am a sucker for \"PLAY on WORDS\" as in the first limerick ! For a mere £15 the LOO in my Flat is twinned with one in LETHOSO ! Love the final POEM in my experience the food @ Funerals often surpasses that at WEDDINGS ! Please check my poem today on SOIL POLLUTION ~ I\'m back in SAGE & SAINT MODE ~ BRIAN


July 27th, 2017 05:26

A FEW BITS AND PIECES
burning-embers said:

Great, you put a morning smile on UK faces.

July 27th, 2017 02:08

HAROLDS LAMENT
Heather T said:

I just discovered this treasure...I think the comments giggled me as much as the poem and cartoon!

July 26th, 2017 15:12

ANOTHER DAY
willyweed said:

brilliant write Michael ever the artist!

July 26th, 2017 06:59

ANOTHER DAY
FredPeyer said:

I can smell the air, the toast, the coffee aroma and picture myself sitting there in that kitchen.
Great, great poem, love it.

July 26th, 2017 04:08

ANOTHER DAY
Goldfinch60 said:

Wow Michael - so much said in these words.

July 26th, 2017 01:48