Comments received on poems by Neville
Oblivious
MendedFences27 said:
\"No need or reason to pretend,\" that she knew. Why would she? It is now obvious and out in the open. Perhaps her eyes would have told on her if not covered by a pair of \"Ray Bans.\"
The passion felt comes through in this poem, in the last two stanzas. The first three set up the powerful ending. They are whimsical observations, to contrast the rougher ending. Sweetness followed by unabridged passion. Thoroughly enjoyed. - Phil A
October 1st, 2020 21:24
MendedFences27 said:
\"No need or reason to pretend,\" that she knew. Why would she? It is now obvious and out in the open. Perhaps her eyes would have told on her if not covered by a pair of \"Ray Bans.\"
The passion felt comes through in this poem, in the last two stanzas. The first three set up the powerful ending. They are whimsical observations, to contrast the rougher ending. Sweetness followed by unabridged passion. Thoroughly enjoyed. - Phil A
October 1st, 2020 21:24
Oblivious
Dove said:
Behind sunlit ray ban Glasses and beautiful curves, is a heart of gold ! I hope she knew
October 1st, 2020 12:26
Dove said:
Behind sunlit ray ban Glasses and beautiful curves, is a heart of gold ! I hope she knew
October 1st, 2020 12:26
Oblivious
Michael Edwards said:
Fay say\'s it so well and love the idea of word-painting which describes your work to a \'T\'
October 1st, 2020 09:39
Michael Edwards said:
Fay say\'s it so well and love the idea of word-painting which describes your work to a \'T\'
October 1st, 2020 09:39
A Patchwork of Ashes
L. B. Mek said:
liked the form, alternating the two voices added another layer to both perspective\'s,
brilliant imagery, relatability and a captivating title!
October 1st, 2020 03:45
L. B. Mek said:
liked the form, alternating the two voices added another layer to both perspective\'s,
brilliant imagery, relatability and a captivating title!
October 1st, 2020 03:45
Oblivious
L. B. Mek said:
smooth with it - who needs pickup lines, they just don\'t have a chance once you set your aim, lol
great job keeping the gloom of heartbreak somewhat light-hearted through your Ray Bans perspective, makes for a poignant yet fun read
October 1st, 2020 03:03
L. B. Mek said:
smooth with it - who needs pickup lines, they just don\'t have a chance once you set your aim, lol
great job keeping the gloom of heartbreak somewhat light-hearted through your Ray Bans perspective, makes for a poignant yet fun read
October 1st, 2020 03:03
Oblivious
Fay Slimm. said:
Your write so cleverly roused this reader\'s attention to the past tense you use for the word Love in this poignant poem Nev - showing time gone when present meant even the sight of a lover could induce avid desire......... sad when that passes as the last lines infer.......... another tale told with your special talent for word-painting.
October 1st, 2020 02:34
Fay Slimm. said:
Your write so cleverly roused this reader\'s attention to the past tense you use for the word Love in this poignant poem Nev - showing time gone when present meant even the sight of a lover could induce avid desire......... sad when that passes as the last lines infer.......... another tale told with your special talent for word-painting.
October 1st, 2020 02:34
Oblivious
Goldfinch60 said:
Such a strong love portrayed in your words Neville.
Andy
October 1st, 2020 01:25
Goldfinch60 said:
Such a strong love portrayed in your words Neville.
Andy
October 1st, 2020 01:25
A Patchwork of Ashes
Goldfinch60 said:
Beautiful emotive words Neville.
Andy
September 30th, 2020 23:56
Goldfinch60 said:
Beautiful emotive words Neville.
Andy
September 30th, 2020 23:56
A Patchwork of Ashes
MendedFences27 said:
Like a wild fire leaving behind fields of ash, she burned through his heart and then as her nature required kept moving on to drier fields.;
When all that\'s left are embers
of sweet moments fondly remembered
the ashes keep him warm
throughout the raging storm
as love becomes his reason to condemn her.
Once a love is gone, we cling to memories until we find a way to cope and then find a new love. Maybe that\'s why it\'s called a bed of ashes. Then again some folks are just not meant to be together .i.e. the wild filly and the church mouse. - Phil A.
September 30th, 2020 16:40
MendedFences27 said:
Like a wild fire leaving behind fields of ash, she burned through his heart and then as her nature required kept moving on to drier fields.;
When all that\'s left are embers
of sweet moments fondly remembered
the ashes keep him warm
throughout the raging storm
as love becomes his reason to condemn her.
Once a love is gone, we cling to memories until we find a way to cope and then find a new love. Maybe that\'s why it\'s called a bed of ashes. Then again some folks are just not meant to be together .i.e. the wild filly and the church mouse. - Phil A.
September 30th, 2020 16:40
A Patchwork of Ashes
Dove said:
Excellent writing! Of course there’s
Always Hope!
From the flicker of ashes love did burn
Smoldering ever so quietly in place
She gazed at his smile and he in return
Spied something new written on her face
His heart started Beating he felt the rush
His soul didn’t quite understand the feel
A burning ember inside made him blush
Trickling throughout Him with zest and zeal
In his eyes She could see the fire within
and she knew she must ignite the passion
Puckering her lips she walked closer to him
Kissed him gently, softly ,in sweet fashion
Though once extinguished the flickers remained
From the ashes, Smoldering love Can flame
September 30th, 2020 10:37
Dove said:
Excellent writing! Of course there’s
Always Hope!
From the flicker of ashes love did burn
Smoldering ever so quietly in place
She gazed at his smile and he in return
Spied something new written on her face
His heart started Beating he felt the rush
His soul didn’t quite understand the feel
A burning ember inside made him blush
Trickling throughout Him with zest and zeal
In his eyes She could see the fire within
and she knew she must ignite the passion
Puckering her lips she walked closer to him
Kissed him gently, softly ,in sweet fashion
Though once extinguished the flickers remained
From the ashes, Smoldering love Can flame
September 30th, 2020 10:37
A Patchwork of Ashes
orchidee said:
Aww, I was gonna meet her. But if she is far too wild for him to tame (him in the poem), what chance have I got?! lol.
September 30th, 2020 05:29
orchidee said:
Aww, I was gonna meet her. But if she is far too wild for him to tame (him in the poem), what chance have I got?! lol.
September 30th, 2020 05:29
A Patchwork of Ashes
dusk arising said:
You cant always see what you get and you dont always get what you want .... but to misquote the rolling stones ... if you try sometimes you just might get something or other...
But often, the best is something which once was.... can be seen occasionally... and once in a while stops by for..... muffins
September 30th, 2020 04:05
dusk arising said:
You cant always see what you get and you dont always get what you want .... but to misquote the rolling stones ... if you try sometimes you just might get something or other...
But often, the best is something which once was.... can be seen occasionally... and once in a while stops by for..... muffins
September 30th, 2020 04:05
A Patchwork of Ashes
Fay Slimm. said:
This read with its unique ending left me with a smile despite its artful presentation of fading love-life....... you have such a way with spacing and spicing your beguiling tales my dear friend. - the title alone deserves top marks for poetic inventiveness....................x
September 30th, 2020 03:24
Fay Slimm. said:
This read with its unique ending left me with a smile despite its artful presentation of fading love-life....... you have such a way with spacing and spicing your beguiling tales my dear friend. - the title alone deserves top marks for poetic inventiveness....................x
September 30th, 2020 03:24
Come-a-Day
Whimsical_1 said:
Wow, I really enjoyed this read! Such a beautiful picture your words paint.
September 29th, 2020 13:28
Whimsical_1 said:
Wow, I really enjoyed this read! Such a beautiful picture your words paint.
September 29th, 2020 13:28
Come-a-Day
MendedFences27 said:
Finding the ideal resting spot among the flora and fauna and to share it with ones true love, makes for more \"happy-ever-aftering,\" unless it\'s your final resting place. Your descriptions paint an idyllic image of a spot deep into the wood, \"spied only by sprites and nymphs\" that seems to be chosen by the narrator as place for a secret tryst or a burial site. This poem is filled with imaginative and colorful language, \"dandelion clocks, cuckoo spit, current bites deepest,\" etc. All following the unique title \"Come-a- day.\" which leads me to the more drastic of the choices. Seems a remote and light-traffic area for either, but I\'m leaning toward the final ending. - Phil A.
September 29th, 2020 12:27
MendedFences27 said:
Finding the ideal resting spot among the flora and fauna and to share it with ones true love, makes for more \"happy-ever-aftering,\" unless it\'s your final resting place. Your descriptions paint an idyllic image of a spot deep into the wood, \"spied only by sprites and nymphs\" that seems to be chosen by the narrator as place for a secret tryst or a burial site. This poem is filled with imaginative and colorful language, \"dandelion clocks, cuckoo spit, current bites deepest,\" etc. All following the unique title \"Come-a- day.\" which leads me to the more drastic of the choices. Seems a remote and light-traffic area for either, but I\'m leaning toward the final ending. - Phil A.
September 29th, 2020 12:27
Come-a-Day
Dove said:
Such beauty laced in a poem!
A poignant write, tugs at the
Heart
September 29th, 2020 10:18
Dove said:
Such beauty laced in a poem!
A poignant write, tugs at the
Heart
September 29th, 2020 10:18
Come-a-Day
Fay Slimm. said:
A heart tugger for sure this poignant use of a walk through nature which leads to hope of reviving lost love - a knowing beats hope and your words leave this reader fervently wishing that come-a-day appears really soon.............x
September 29th, 2020 02:53
Fay Slimm. said:
A heart tugger for sure this poignant use of a walk through nature which leads to hope of reviving lost love - a knowing beats hope and your words leave this reader fervently wishing that come-a-day appears really soon.............x
September 29th, 2020 02:53
Come-a-Day
L. B. Mek said:
wonderful first couplet, hooks you in quick
great write!
September 29th, 2020 01:57
L. B. Mek said:
wonderful first couplet, hooks you in quick
great write!
September 29th, 2020 01:57
Come-a-Day
orchidee said:
Good write Neville. I wish the day-would-a-come that I give up singing! lol. Aww, why they all say that to me? heehee.
September 29th, 2020 01:49
orchidee said:
Good write Neville. I wish the day-would-a-come that I give up singing! lol. Aww, why they all say that to me? heehee.
September 29th, 2020 01:49
Making His Way Home
Laura🌻 said:
Neville,
This poem reminded me of one of the many stories my grandmother used to tell me when I was a child. Of the many, one that she told me was about “Un Vagabondo”
(A Wanderer).
She would always begin her stories with “C’era una volta...” (Once upon a time...)
I always thought they were fairytales because she would always begin her stories with “C’era una volta...” (Once upon a time)...until I got older. I realized that some were and some were not when my mom related the story of her uncle known as “Un Vagabondo”. This uncle...(one of many)...left his home when he was a young man.The only things he took with him were a change of clothing and his beloved mandolin. He loved his mandolin. He was gone for years until the day my grandmother heard the sound of that famous mandolin...
Thank you for sharing your poem. It brought me back a few years...the years of a happy childhood.
All the best
Laura🌻
P.S. - He did live
‘happily ever after’! 😊
September 29th, 2020 01:36
Laura🌻 said:
Neville,
This poem reminded me of one of the many stories my grandmother used to tell me when I was a child. Of the many, one that she told me was about “Un Vagabondo”
(A Wanderer).
She would always begin her stories with “C’era una volta...” (Once upon a time...)
I always thought they were fairytales because she would always begin her stories with “C’era una volta...” (Once upon a time)...until I got older. I realized that some were and some were not when my mom related the story of her uncle known as “Un Vagabondo”. This uncle...(one of many)...left his home when he was a young man.The only things he took with him were a change of clothing and his beloved mandolin. He loved his mandolin. He was gone for years until the day my grandmother heard the sound of that famous mandolin...
Thank you for sharing your poem. It brought me back a few years...the years of a happy childhood.
All the best
Laura🌻
P.S. - He did live
‘happily ever after’! 😊
September 29th, 2020 01:36
Come-a-Day
Laura🌻 said:
Neville,
I truly enjoyed reading this well written poem...
a poem with a wealth of imagery. If a painter were to paint your scripted words, it would be a painting to behold.
An Excellent Piece.
Thank you for sharing your inimitable poetic pen !
All the best
Laura🌻
September 29th, 2020 00:57
Laura🌻 said:
Neville,
I truly enjoyed reading this well written poem...
a poem with a wealth of imagery. If a painter were to paint your scripted words, it would be a painting to behold.
An Excellent Piece.
Thank you for sharing your inimitable poetic pen !
All the best
Laura🌻
September 29th, 2020 00:57
Come-a-Day
Goldfinch60 said:
That day will come but hopefully not yet as there is so much life to live but you will always know that person will be there for you - as I do.
Andy
September 29th, 2020 00:41
Goldfinch60 said:
That day will come but hopefully not yet as there is so much life to live but you will always know that person will be there for you - as I do.
Andy
September 29th, 2020 00:41
Making His Way Home
Goldfinch60 said:
Those answers will be there once your beliefs have been fulfilled.
Andy
September 29th, 2020 00:15
Goldfinch60 said:
Those answers will be there once your beliefs have been fulfilled.
Andy
September 29th, 2020 00:15
Making His Way Home
MendedFences27 said:
Sometimes familiarity becomes the dominant desire. Aging brings a comfort when familiar things are nearby. A return to an an older love can be enhanced by memories and the accustomed approach. As to \"challenging his beliefs,\" the past love now seems a selfish indulgence. \"Truth,\" is the only answer. The \"love song\" will be finished once the harmony is complete. Terrific poem. - Phil A.
September 28th, 2020 16:12
MendedFences27 said:
Sometimes familiarity becomes the dominant desire. Aging brings a comfort when familiar things are nearby. A return to an an older love can be enhanced by memories and the accustomed approach. As to \"challenging his beliefs,\" the past love now seems a selfish indulgence. \"Truth,\" is the only answer. The \"love song\" will be finished once the harmony is complete. Terrific poem. - Phil A.
September 28th, 2020 16:12
Making His Way Home
Fay Slimm. said:
Love songs need a finish and home seems the place in which they like to end - - a sensitive story of losing direction before finding the right door again......... loved the lilt and the flow of this little gem Nev..........x
September 28th, 2020 08:17
Fay Slimm. said:
Love songs need a finish and home seems the place in which they like to end - - a sensitive story of losing direction before finding the right door again......... loved the lilt and the flow of this little gem Nev..........x
September 28th, 2020 08:17
Sleeper
L. B. Mek said:
I can re-read this ten times and find ten new elements to rave about, I admit there is an element to your writing that makes it impossible for me to be impartial in judging its merits, but who cares anyway - I\'m just a simple fan my friend,
brilliant!
September 28th, 2020 05:01
L. B. Mek said:
I can re-read this ten times and find ten new elements to rave about, I admit there is an element to your writing that makes it impossible for me to be impartial in judging its merits, but who cares anyway - I\'m just a simple fan my friend,
brilliant!
September 28th, 2020 05:01
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