Comments received on poems by Fay Slimm.
CHANGE.
ANGELA & BRIAN said:
GOOD EVENING FAY : ANGELA here : its 10:30 pm Tuesday : I have an evening Clinic so my first Clinic today is 2pm. There are lots of poems on MPS today and Brian suggested I should comment on this one ! For me a FAY POEM is always a delight and a Challenge. We have talked about Dawn & Surises but this one is special ! Four Blank Verse Sextets with perfect meter repeated in each one ! I love the language of poetic analysis : sounds very Scientific like a Exercise Program !
I like the linguistic structure of the Poem and the way in which the LIGHT *CHALLENGES* the DARK as each new DAY DAWNS ! It is the delicate way in which you use metaphor & similie which makes all you POEMS so so linguistically elegant !
V 1. DARK does not like DAWN but is powerless to prevent Her edging forward !
V 2. LIGHT shatters the DARK(ebony) but not without scars !
V 3. DAY starts and NIGHT makes one last effort to thwart Her !
But the effort is too much & NIGHT bursts & sinks !
V 4. DARK (NIGHT) barks his goodbyes and skulks away !
The ruthless LIGHT (SOL !) prevails and paints a New Day !
I havn*t run this analysis past BRIAN : I hope it does
your Perfect Poem justice. When I get back to Essex
I am going to help BRIAN with his Poetry Classes for Seniors !
Blessings & Peace & Love
Your Friend ANGELA 🧡🧡🧡🧡
July 1st, 2019 16:55
ANGELA & BRIAN said:
GOOD EVENING FAY : ANGELA here : its 10:30 pm Tuesday : I have an evening Clinic so my first Clinic today is 2pm. There are lots of poems on MPS today and Brian suggested I should comment on this one ! For me a FAY POEM is always a delight and a Challenge. We have talked about Dawn & Surises but this one is special ! Four Blank Verse Sextets with perfect meter repeated in each one ! I love the language of poetic analysis : sounds very Scientific like a Exercise Program !
I like the linguistic structure of the Poem and the way in which the LIGHT *CHALLENGES* the DARK as each new DAY DAWNS ! It is the delicate way in which you use metaphor & similie which makes all you POEMS so so linguistically elegant !
V 1. DARK does not like DAWN but is powerless to prevent Her edging forward !
V 2. LIGHT shatters the DARK(ebony) but not without scars !
V 3. DAY starts and NIGHT makes one last effort to thwart Her !
But the effort is too much & NIGHT bursts & sinks !
V 4. DARK (NIGHT) barks his goodbyes and skulks away !
The ruthless LIGHT (SOL !) prevails and paints a New Day !
I havn*t run this analysis past BRIAN : I hope it does
your Perfect Poem justice. When I get back to Essex
I am going to help BRIAN with his Poetry Classes for Seniors !
Blessings & Peace & Love
Your Friend ANGELA 🧡🧡🧡🧡
July 1st, 2019 16:55
CHANGE.
Neville said:
a beautiful write indeed a veritable kaleidoscope & colour wheel combined......................... Neville
July 1st, 2019 04:34
Neville said:
a beautiful write indeed a veritable kaleidoscope & colour wheel combined......................... Neville
July 1st, 2019 04:34
CHANGE.
Michael Edwards said:
Beautiful write Fay invoking the glories of each day
July 1st, 2019 03:42
Michael Edwards said:
Beautiful write Fay invoking the glories of each day
July 1st, 2019 03:42
Friendship\'s Love.
Neville said:
There\'s nowt like a real friend, is there..
and here you perfectly poem the point............. Neville
June 30th, 2019 04:15
Neville said:
There\'s nowt like a real friend, is there..
and here you perfectly poem the point............. Neville
June 30th, 2019 04:15
BREAK OUT.
SerenWise said:
Excellent write, as always an excellent use of metaphor and word play
June 30th, 2019 02:19
SerenWise said:
Excellent write, as always an excellent use of metaphor and word play
June 30th, 2019 02:19
What We Had.
Neville said:
this is such a sad lament, your words though delicately laid carry such a weight and flow.. probably one of the most anguished and understandable pleas I have encountered for a long time.... this is certainly a poem any poet would be proud to have written..... .. Neville
June 29th, 2019 04:21
Neville said:
this is such a sad lament, your words though delicately laid carry such a weight and flow.. probably one of the most anguished and understandable pleas I have encountered for a long time.... this is certainly a poem any poet would be proud to have written..... .. Neville
June 29th, 2019 04:21
HEAT.
ANGELA & BRIAN said:
GOOD EVENING FAY : ANGELA HERE ! Its 8:30 am (SAT) here so no work today ! Because AUCKLAND is a PENINSULAR we can see the SUN Rise & Set over the Sea : BEAUTIFUL ! Thanks for sharing this Quintet of Triplets it is a beautiful tribute to the DAWN ! I like to rise early to greet the Sun as it rises ! Love the Tone Poem : each verse paints a different picture of DAWN !
1. Sun pale in dawns haze ......
2. Junes day stirs ......
3. Weed vies with vine ......
4. Silky gossamer .......
5. Ferns droop with unfurl - for summer*s heat awaits !
Blessings & Love for every new Morning
Yours as always : ANGELA XOXOX
June 28th, 2019 14:46
ANGELA & BRIAN said:
GOOD EVENING FAY : ANGELA HERE ! Its 8:30 am (SAT) here so no work today ! Because AUCKLAND is a PENINSULAR we can see the SUN Rise & Set over the Sea : BEAUTIFUL ! Thanks for sharing this Quintet of Triplets it is a beautiful tribute to the DAWN ! I like to rise early to greet the Sun as it rises ! Love the Tone Poem : each verse paints a different picture of DAWN !
1. Sun pale in dawns haze ......
2. Junes day stirs ......
3. Weed vies with vine ......
4. Silky gossamer .......
5. Ferns droop with unfurl - for summer*s heat awaits !
Blessings & Love for every new Morning
Yours as always : ANGELA XOXOX
June 28th, 2019 14:46
HEAT.
Suresh said:
The attached image, liven\'s up the poetry perfectly, for I can surely visualize every word
June 28th, 2019 11:42
Suresh said:
The attached image, liven\'s up the poetry perfectly, for I can surely visualize every word
June 28th, 2019 11:42
HEAT.
Andrew Charles Forrest said:
Summer wrapped in five verses well captured Fay
June 28th, 2019 08:30
Andrew Charles Forrest said:
Summer wrapped in five verses well captured Fay
June 28th, 2019 08:30
HEAT.
Neville said:
you have crafted an absolute peach of a poem here my very fine literary friend..... the perfect wake me up slowly tonic, when such a day beckons with a smile...... Neville
June 28th, 2019 02:52
Neville said:
you have crafted an absolute peach of a poem here my very fine literary friend..... the perfect wake me up slowly tonic, when such a day beckons with a smile...... Neville
June 28th, 2019 02:52
HEAT.
orchidee said:
A fine write Fay. Or to put it gloomily maybe - though we need rain - them ferns await the summer storms! (heehee).
June 28th, 2019 02:23
orchidee said:
A fine write Fay. Or to put it gloomily maybe - though we need rain - them ferns await the summer storms! (heehee).
June 28th, 2019 02:23
BREAK OUT.
Poetic Dan said:
I didn\'t have time to finish your wonderful work this morning but I\'m glad I\'ve taken the time now.
Breathtaking and moving
Thank you ever so much!
June 27th, 2019 11:20
Poetic Dan said:
I didn\'t have time to finish your wonderful work this morning but I\'m glad I\'ve taken the time now.
Breathtaking and moving
Thank you ever so much!
June 27th, 2019 11:20
BREAK OUT.
ANGELA & BRIAN said:
Thanks FAY : Brian & I can be a bit formal & Scientific at times but we can be more exploritry in our Poems : Like BRIANS Poem today ! Loved your comment today : I must add a personal comment ! I like your advice 1. To be less staid 2. Breach convention and 3. Sail out of the USUAL But beware I am a Fiesty Spanish Senorita and you may have just reopened Pandoras Box ! Its midnight so I should be asleep in BED !
Blessings & Love ~ ANGELA XOX
June 27th, 2019 06:02
ANGELA & BRIAN said:
Thanks FAY : Brian & I can be a bit formal & Scientific at times but we can be more exploritry in our Poems : Like BRIANS Poem today ! Loved your comment today : I must add a personal comment ! I like your advice 1. To be less staid 2. Breach convention and 3. Sail out of the USUAL But beware I am a Fiesty Spanish Senorita and you may have just reopened Pandoras Box ! Its midnight so I should be asleep in BED !
Blessings & Love ~ ANGELA XOX
June 27th, 2019 06:02
BREAK OUT.
Neville said:
Yes indeed... far too many folk are hampered & restrained by their fears and prejudices, by narrow minded tunnel visioned views and by their limited ability to think outside the box and sub-cultural norms that inevitably constrict and constrain any form of creativity, newness and change... We need to embrace the unknown, take more risks and learn to fly.....This is a fine poem Fay and a great mouthpiece and anthem for the unconventional........... Neville
June 27th, 2019 04:10
Neville said:
Yes indeed... far too many folk are hampered & restrained by their fears and prejudices, by narrow minded tunnel visioned views and by their limited ability to think outside the box and sub-cultural norms that inevitably constrict and constrain any form of creativity, newness and change... We need to embrace the unknown, take more risks and learn to fly.....This is a fine poem Fay and a great mouthpiece and anthem for the unconventional........... Neville
June 27th, 2019 04:10
BREAK OUT.
orchidee said:
A fine write Fay. I\'m gonna fly then, feel me feet leaving the ground!
June 27th, 2019 03:15
orchidee said:
A fine write Fay. I\'m gonna fly then, feel me feet leaving the ground!
June 27th, 2019 03:15
ARE WE ?
Goldfinch60 said:
On your journey you will find out the real truth and hopefully it will be the one that brings the glories of love to you.
June 26th, 2019 15:19
Goldfinch60 said:
On your journey you will find out the real truth and hopefully it will be the one that brings the glories of love to you.
June 26th, 2019 15:19
ARE WE ?
Suresh said:
No, not the last, for then the others would not have happened or lasted.
June 26th, 2019 11:30
Suresh said:
No, not the last, for then the others would not have happened or lasted.
June 26th, 2019 11:30
My Rocker.
Neville said:
We have one too .. and like you dear poet, I oft think of all the tales that it could tell on cozy winter evenings, or sunlit spring and summer days and autumn eves golden......... I think you have captured the very essence and the soul of said rocking chair.. tis so much more than just a bit o furniture and true........... Neville
June 26th, 2019 05:23
Neville said:
We have one too .. and like you dear poet, I oft think of all the tales that it could tell on cozy winter evenings, or sunlit spring and summer days and autumn eves golden......... I think you have captured the very essence and the soul of said rocking chair.. tis so much more than just a bit o furniture and true........... Neville
June 26th, 2019 05:23
ARE WE ?
ANGELA & BRIAN said:
Thanks for sharing again FAY ! Brian & I love your LOVE POEMS they are so so experiential. Brian and I have both experienced (in the past) what we thought was TRUE LOVE but like so many TEEN & post TEEN romances they faded & died. When we first MET we were both : fully rigged Sailing Ships (dressed to the NINES !) passing in the night ! BUT as we passed something happened (a miracle) we both dropped ANCHOR : and sailed right into each others arms ! O Fay you*ve made me cry for JOY !
Fortunately it was a DANCE (at the Hospital !) but we both knew enough about LOVE to know this was Heaven Sent TRUE LOVE ! Thankfully when its a SLOW WALTZ nobody notices TWO STRANGERS becoming ONE in a matter of minutes ! INDESCRIBABLE but it really happened ! Your recent POEMS really touch a chord with US and Ive printed them and pasted them in my DIARY : AMEN ! YES FAY *We are the real thing : and Our Love will last for ETERNITY* WE plan to Marry next EASTER but we became ONE (Physically & Emotionally Married) in that first Romantic Dance TOGETHER for EVER. More please FAY Your Love Poems bring BRIAN right into my BED each night *A PAIR SET FOR PARADISE* : AMEN !
Blessings & Peace & Love
Yours Love Struck ~ ANGELA ~ XOXOX
June 26th, 2019 05:17
ANGELA & BRIAN said:
Thanks for sharing again FAY ! Brian & I love your LOVE POEMS they are so so experiential. Brian and I have both experienced (in the past) what we thought was TRUE LOVE but like so many TEEN & post TEEN romances they faded & died. When we first MET we were both : fully rigged Sailing Ships (dressed to the NINES !) passing in the night ! BUT as we passed something happened (a miracle) we both dropped ANCHOR : and sailed right into each others arms ! O Fay you*ve made me cry for JOY !
Fortunately it was a DANCE (at the Hospital !) but we both knew enough about LOVE to know this was Heaven Sent TRUE LOVE ! Thankfully when its a SLOW WALTZ nobody notices TWO STRANGERS becoming ONE in a matter of minutes ! INDESCRIBABLE but it really happened ! Your recent POEMS really touch a chord with US and Ive printed them and pasted them in my DIARY : AMEN ! YES FAY *We are the real thing : and Our Love will last for ETERNITY* WE plan to Marry next EASTER but we became ONE (Physically & Emotionally Married) in that first Romantic Dance TOGETHER for EVER. More please FAY Your Love Poems bring BRIAN right into my BED each night *A PAIR SET FOR PARADISE* : AMEN !
Blessings & Peace & Love
Yours Love Struck ~ ANGELA ~ XOXOX
June 26th, 2019 05:17
ARE WE ?
orchidee said:
Dunno - the last lines. I got shipwrecked! No! Enough frivolity. lol. A fine write again Fay.
June 26th, 2019 04:19
orchidee said:
Dunno - the last lines. I got shipwrecked! No! Enough frivolity. lol. A fine write again Fay.
June 26th, 2019 04:19
ARE WE ?
Neville said:
sometimes it is best not to know.... the anticipation and uncertainties regarding destinations and what if\'s make the journey all the more interesting... and here, you more than adequately prime your reader with each tantalizing possibility but which still remains an unanswered question.......... N
June 26th, 2019 03:44
Neville said:
sometimes it is best not to know.... the anticipation and uncertainties regarding destinations and what if\'s make the journey all the more interesting... and here, you more than adequately prime your reader with each tantalizing possibility but which still remains an unanswered question.......... N
June 26th, 2019 03:44
FERTILITY.
ANGELA & BRIAN said:
GOOD MORNING FAY : ANGELA here again ! Its 8:15 pm (WED) I had an evening CLINIC so I now have time for MPS ! BRIAN thinks Im getting BROODY so he*s started calling me HEN ! He claims its a Scots term for endearment ! BRIAN runs an Allotment & A Horticultur class so he*s always on about Sun : Seeds & Sustenance ! In Verse 3. there is an allusion to Human Fertility which is what excited me ! Brian thought (again !) I should comment ! Neither Brian (35) nor I (31) have had a BABY (yet !) but we do want one asap like Harry & Meghan who are in our age group ! We are Ready ~ Willing & Medically Able after we are married ! Even in the 21st C we have to set an example because of our Jobs and because we work with Teens in the Church ~ AMEN BRIAN will supply the SEED : I will supply the EGG and my WOMB (lovely word !) will be the fertile source for
procreation ! Your POEM perfectly describes seed germination & growth ! It is a perfect metaphor for the MIRACLE of Human Fertilisation & Embryonic Dvelopment. We anticipate that for US 2021 will be a Year of Great Expectations : AMEN !
Thanks for sharing & caring
Blessings & Peace & Joy & Love
Yours as always : ANGELA XOXOX
June 26th, 2019 02:38
ANGELA & BRIAN said:
GOOD MORNING FAY : ANGELA here again ! Its 8:15 pm (WED) I had an evening CLINIC so I now have time for MPS ! BRIAN thinks Im getting BROODY so he*s started calling me HEN ! He claims its a Scots term for endearment ! BRIAN runs an Allotment & A Horticultur class so he*s always on about Sun : Seeds & Sustenance ! In Verse 3. there is an allusion to Human Fertility which is what excited me ! Brian thought (again !) I should comment ! Neither Brian (35) nor I (31) have had a BABY (yet !) but we do want one asap like Harry & Meghan who are in our age group ! We are Ready ~ Willing & Medically Able after we are married ! Even in the 21st C we have to set an example because of our Jobs and because we work with Teens in the Church ~ AMEN BRIAN will supply the SEED : I will supply the EGG and my WOMB (lovely word !) will be the fertile source for
procreation ! Your POEM perfectly describes seed germination & growth ! It is a perfect metaphor for the MIRACLE of Human Fertilisation & Embryonic Dvelopment. We anticipate that for US 2021 will be a Year of Great Expectations : AMEN !
Thanks for sharing & caring
Blessings & Peace & Joy & Love
Yours as always : ANGELA XOXOX
June 26th, 2019 02:38
FERTILITY.
Andrew Charles Forrest said:
Oh that flush of discovery Fay, Beautifully captured
June 25th, 2019 15:35
Andrew Charles Forrest said:
Oh that flush of discovery Fay, Beautifully captured
June 25th, 2019 15:35
FERTILITY.
Goldfinch60 said:
Like all things life must grow and seek the light, the light will show us the way into our future.
June 25th, 2019 15:15
Goldfinch60 said:
Like all things life must grow and seek the light, the light will show us the way into our future.
June 25th, 2019 15:15
FERTILITY.
moordykspot2 said:
Good Eveniny Young Fay Your poetry as strong as ever full of description which stirs the emotions. It it such a treat to be allowed to share such wonderful verse. Thank you
June 25th, 2019 14:58
moordykspot2 said:
Good Eveniny Young Fay Your poetry as strong as ever full of description which stirs the emotions. It it such a treat to be allowed to share such wonderful verse. Thank you
June 25th, 2019 14:58
UNWRAPPED.
ANGELA & BRIAN said:
GOOD EVENING FAY : ANGELA HERE ! Im a bit late in replying but Brian asked me to answer this because it was written from a Lady*s *Point of View* Its 8am WEDNESDAY here and Im gettiung ready for work (CLINIC @ 10am !)
I cried for JOY when I read it because ever since I first DANCED with BRIAN : I found True HAPPINESS and it has lasted all day & every day 24/7 eversince ! Despite the 11,500 miles distance and Me always being 12 hours ahead : our love has grown Deeper & Sweeter every day !
Your POEM sounds like a prelude to our HONEYMOON (Easter 2020 !) ! We will spend ONE NIGHT in Essex (in a Four Poster V 1.) And then fly to Sevilla (Spain) for our TWO weeks HONEYMOON in a 5 Star Hotel : Honeymoon Suite ! Then (V 2.) we will taste VIRGIN KISSES & Champagne & Sweet Spanish Cafe Negro with Soberano to wake us up next morning : AMEN YES we will get to the BEACH sometime and in ROMANTIC SPAIN : The Honeymoon Suites always have *A BATH made for TWO with the taps in the middle* (V 3.) and double showers : I CANT WAIT ! Now it is ANTICIPATION : Then it will be PARTICIPATION and forever MEMORYs RAPTURE ! (V 4.)
Your POEM is more perfect than you know !
Thanks for sharing : BLESSINGS & LOVE
Yours as always : Love ANGELA XOXOX
June 25th, 2019 14:41
ANGELA & BRIAN said:
GOOD EVENING FAY : ANGELA HERE ! Im a bit late in replying but Brian asked me to answer this because it was written from a Lady*s *Point of View* Its 8am WEDNESDAY here and Im gettiung ready for work (CLINIC @ 10am !)
I cried for JOY when I read it because ever since I first DANCED with BRIAN : I found True HAPPINESS and it has lasted all day & every day 24/7 eversince ! Despite the 11,500 miles distance and Me always being 12 hours ahead : our love has grown Deeper & Sweeter every day !
Your POEM sounds like a prelude to our HONEYMOON (Easter 2020 !) ! We will spend ONE NIGHT in Essex (in a Four Poster V 1.) And then fly to Sevilla (Spain) for our TWO weeks HONEYMOON in a 5 Star Hotel : Honeymoon Suite ! Then (V 2.) we will taste VIRGIN KISSES & Champagne & Sweet Spanish Cafe Negro with Soberano to wake us up next morning : AMEN YES we will get to the BEACH sometime and in ROMANTIC SPAIN : The Honeymoon Suites always have *A BATH made for TWO with the taps in the middle* (V 3.) and double showers : I CANT WAIT ! Now it is ANTICIPATION : Then it will be PARTICIPATION and forever MEMORYs RAPTURE ! (V 4.)
Your POEM is more perfect than you know !
Thanks for sharing : BLESSINGS & LOVE
Yours as always : Love ANGELA XOXOX
June 25th, 2019 14:41
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